My Life

A chat about fostering

I got the call around noon on a random Wednesday. I generally avoid picking up unknown numbers but in the back of my mind I was hoping it was a call for a placement. Sure enough the sweet woman on the other end told me they had a 10 month old baby boy who needed a home. “It could likely be for only two weeks,” she warned. “But you just never know.”
I asked a few questions (mostly because I was told I should do that but if I’m being honest the answers wouldn’t have changed anything, I was already screaming YES in my mind!) She said she would send a photo and call us back in a bit with more information.
I called Nick and filled him in on everything, we were both so excited and a little nervous.
They let us know the baby was pretty sick with a bad cold but we could come meet him that night and then take him home the next day.
We met him and he was so sweet and adorable, even all stuffed up, snotty and clearly not feeling well at all.
It felt weird having to leave him and go back home but we spent the night getting prepared. We bought him some clothes and jammies, got his room ready and picked out a new carseat for him.
The next day we tried to keep ourselves busy while waiting for the call to come pick him up. Christian (who has been excited about the foster process from the get go) was beside himself with excitement, he must have asked me 1000 times if we could go get him yet.
Finally they called, Billy was napping so Nick stayed with him while Crush and I drove over to get our new little guy.
As I was driving back with the two of them in the backseat I looked in the review mirror and Christian was playing with him and gigglingly asked me “Why is he SO cute, mom?”

That was almost 3 months ago.
We’ve continued to fall more and more in love with him since and I can’t wait to share more of our story as it unfolds and when I am able to.
In the meantime I made a video to talk about why we chose this and to respond to many of the questions and responses we’ve had since starting the process.

Here are some other resources I mention in the video:

Learn more about children who are ready to be adopted:

A really awesome podcast I listened to religiously: (favorite episodes here & here)

3 Little Words (a memoir about one amazing woman who was raised in the foster system)


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  • Reply
    July 25, 2016 at 10:57 am

    Hi Cara! This whole post makes my heart so happy. I’m an adoptive mama, who is about to begin the foster process too! Thanks for raising awareness and using your platform! -juli. (

  • Reply
    July 25, 2016 at 12:10 pm

    This was inspirational and beautiful. You are a lovely person.

  • Reply
    July 25, 2016 at 12:30 pm

    I’m a foster/adopt parent (12 years – 2 adoptions, 1 guardianship and a dozen fosters). Thank you so much for doing this segment – we need foster/adopt parents!!! Are there days when I feel like a complete lunatic – yes, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. 🙂 Enjoy the journey!

  • Reply
    July 25, 2016 at 12:48 pm

    Thanks Cara! This video is so informative and I really enjoyed it. My husband and I have been dealing with infertility for the past 3 years. We’re still pursuing fertility treatments and aren’t in a position where we’re ready to adopt or foster right now, but you clarified some things that help give us some insight for if we ever get to a point where the situation feels right to pursue foster care or adoption in the future.

  • Reply
    July 25, 2016 at 1:19 pm

    This is so beautiful thank you for sharing your insite and raising awareness. I have neve considered this before because I have 5 children of my own and some days I can barely keep my head above water, but I know many who have done or talked about doing this and Ive always been curious because I have these same fears. You touched on all these so beautifully that it really has helped me to understand better and open my heart to the possibilities of foster care! Thank you!

  • Reply
    Heather DeWaal
    July 25, 2016 at 1:41 pm

    You are such a truly beautiful person and I’m touched by your heart. Thanks for sharing your experience and views. I think it really helps to demystify some of the ideas surrounding the process, and will help open people’s minds to participating themselves.

  • Reply
    July 25, 2016 at 2:08 pm

    Thank you for explaining everything so throughly. I had no idea. It brought tears to my eyes and I hope to help on some way. Love to your family

  • Reply
    Becky Puls
    July 25, 2016 at 3:54 pm


    Your announcement a few weeks ago about foster care was the exact time my husband and I started the process. We have submitted our application and are in the classes. Have you heard of this blog? I have read all the posts, but this one hit me hard. It’s worth your time to read this.

  • Reply
    The Indigo Hours
    July 25, 2016 at 4:13 pm

    This is such a lovely, heartwarming read. The world needs more people willing to open their hearts like this, so thank you <3

    Jess xo

  • Reply
    July 25, 2016 at 4:40 pm

    Wonderful post. Thank you for your honesty and call to action!

  • Reply
    Diana in LAS
    July 25, 2016 at 5:22 pm

    As someone who was fostered then adopted – THANK YOU! My two younger sisters and I were placed together with my Mom & Dad when I was 8. We were officially adopted by them when I was 10-1/2. Such a wonderful thing y’all are doing, even if it is just fostering. Loving families are desperately needed <3

  • Reply
    July 25, 2016 at 6:42 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing your amazing story! And I know you said it was not about beauty but your makeup does look gorgeous and the lighting is on par!

    xx Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

  • Reply
    July 25, 2016 at 8:04 pm

    Thank you for teaching me something new today! And for the fuzzy feels 🙂 Such a wonderful thing to spread love.

  • Reply
    July 26, 2016 at 9:05 am

    Great info. I have a friend who adopted and it was around $25,000 (Colorado) and even though I am interested in adoption, that number was terrifying to me. Fost/adopt is an option I haven’t thought of before because I too was worried about the attachment my kids, husband, and I would have to a little one and then not be able to keep them. What you said about unconditional love always being a good idea really hit home. Good info. I really appreciate this post and your vulnerability to show us your whole life not just your beauty regimen! 😉

  • Reply
    July 26, 2016 at 10:05 am

    Amazing, I love it! We hope to one day be in the position to be foster parents. I think it is INCREDIBLY important and I love that you’re sharing this with others. I think the benefit to the children greatly outweighs our fears of the emotions of loss. Every child deserves to be loved.

  • Reply
    July 26, 2016 at 11:33 am

    This was so great! We have been thinking about becoming foster parents and this was the perfect introduction to the possibility of welcoming a child into our home. Thank you so much for putting the time into putting this together.

  • Reply
    July 26, 2016 at 5:34 pm

    Cara- thank you for opening your home for this child. As a social worker, there are not enough foster parents out there to help care for children in need. I know that when I place children in foster homes, it’s one less kiddo that I worry about at night. Please continue to encourage others to foster. I admire your strength and courage!

  • Reply
    July 26, 2016 at 5:46 pm

    I’m a long time reader of your blog, and this is by far my favorite post. When you cried in the video, I cried with you, and I’m so glad you didn’t apologize for your tears. I think too often we apologize for our feelings and I think we lose the impact of raw emotion. I grew up in an abusive home and although we were visited many times by child protective services, we were never removed. I can’t begin to express how deeply unfortunate that is. Although I’m a healthy and functioning adult (several years of counseling later) not one of my 3 siblings can say the same. It really is an awful cycle, and you my friend are helping to break that pattern. Even if it’s only for a few sweet little hearts, each one is luckier than they’ll ever know. I’ve always been drawn to fostering too, and after watching the video you made of another woman you know who has several foster children, I felt even more certain that it would be right for me someday too. That video had me in tears as well and I loved to see how happy and healthy those kids were. Thank you for using your influence in such an uplifting way, there is so much good that can come of it.

  • Reply
    July 27, 2016 at 2:33 am

    Thank you for shating your story and info about fostering. I had no idea there were several options/needs. Your honesty and call to action touched my heart. Many times we need to just do something to make a difference even if it’s not our calling. Bless you and your family as you navigate this very emotional, but very much needed path.

  • Reply
    Grace McCrocklin
    July 27, 2016 at 7:37 am

    So happy you mentioned CASA! As a Kappa Alpha Theta, it’s our philanthropy, and has become near and dear to my heart. Court Appointed Special Advocates are SO important for children who haven’t found their forever home yet, and I think that being a CASA is a great way to help these children without the intimate commitment of bringing one into your home.

  • Reply
    July 30, 2016 at 5:48 pm

    Thank you for posting this video. Everything you said, I nodded my head in agreement. I hope that one day foster homes will be a common thing. I’ve always felt the call to fost/adopt and hearing everything you had to say was so reassuring. God Bless you and your family. Regardless of where the little guy ends up, he will be so loved and that is the greatest gift you can give him.

  • Reply
    August 4, 2016 at 11:21 am

    You speak really eloquently and compassionately on such a nuanced topic- a feat! Regardless of what happens, love stays and stays.

  • Reply
    Morgan Monroe
    August 4, 2016 at 2:54 pm

    Hi Cara,
    I loved this piece! I normally check in on your site for makeup, but I was surprised and so inspired when I saw this. I work in Northern Utah with an agency that is always looking for foster/proctor parents, and they are so hard to find! It’s great to know that there are still awesome women like you out there who want to help. These are great kids who just need a stable environment. If you or anyone you know are interested in further placements in the future, please reach out! My email is [email protected], and our site is Bless you and your family for all that you are giving this child !!

  • Reply
    Sandra Bosscher
    August 5, 2016 at 6:33 pm

    Thanks for sharing Cara! We are walking this road with you… so many similarities in our fost/adopt placement! Keeping you in our prayers

  • Reply
    August 23, 2016 at 8:46 am

    My question which was not raised really is… What about the fear that you can’t unconditionally love these children? Unconditional love doesn’t really come naturally to me even with my husband and my own baby — it’s a difficult choice that I sometimes have to make!! Haha obviously I know loving myself is hard as well (for me and also for my family!). What makes you know that you are going to have the ability to love your foster child? I hope this doesn’t come across as rude or offensive! I loved everything you had to say and truly am so deeply inspired by your attitude and wisdom! I just am really curious about that part…

  • Reply
    September 6, 2016 at 3:40 pm

    So can you adopt him? Or it’s temporarily ? I’m new to States and I don’t actually get fostering

  • Reply
    October 3, 2016 at 5:01 pm

    I am so glad I stumbled across this today. My husband and I have been dealing with infertility for over 12 years and have just seriously started having “the foster talk.”

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