My Life


The other day I was listening to my son and his cousin arguing about which one of them is older.

Crush was reasoning that he’s definitely older because his birthday comes before Max’s and he turned five first.

Max was asserting that he’s obviously older because he wears larger clothes and his shoe size is bigger.

Later that same day I went to an event with a bunch of women and one said ashamedly that she must be the oldest woman there. And while it definitely wasn’t a big deal it was clear that that was NOT a good thing.

The contrast struck me. Two totally opposite views on whether being older was good or bad. And I gotta say, I can’t help but side with the five year olds on this one.

In all fairness, when a person asserts themselves as “the oldest one here” shouldn’t that be considered bragging?
Why on earth would it be a bad thing?

When I was a teenager I looked at thirty year olds with a sort of pity. Look at them. All bored in their boring lives driving their mini vans and wearing their mom haircuts. They’ve totally forgotten what’s cool. I hope I’m NEVER like that.

From my extremely limited viewpoint where popularity and looks were what ruled the world I lived in I couldn’t grasp that an age beyond 21 could bring me anything but boredom, big hips and responsibilities I didn’t want.

It’s so eye opening to now be 30. I may have mom hair and I would actually love to have a mini-van but it’s not because I forgot what’s “cool” or gave up on life. It’s because I have gained a great deal of perspective since then. I still have a pretty good idea of what’s “cool” I just don’t particularly care. I do care and am very passionate about different things, 30 year old me would argue, much better, more fulfilling things. And 40 year old me will probably find some of what I care about now to be trivial, I hope so.

The thing is as we get older our bodies do change. They do begin to breakdown. And that’s not something I’m necessarily looking forward to but what about everything we gain?

The way I see it. From a life perspective as I get older I just keep gaining more.
I have what I have now but I arguably still have everything I’ve ever had.
I have the memories, the experiences, the lessons.
I have my first kiss, my wedding day and the birth of my babies.

I have so much more than a body that’s getting older.

Listen, I had my perky breasts! They were perky when that’s what I wanted them to be most and then they were full of milk when that’s what I wanted them to be most. And now they are just kind of…neither. But I love them more than I did before because I they represent so much more to me than a hot chick.

Yes, of course I want to be beautiful. A beautiful 30 year old woman. I don’t want to look 20 for anyone. Why would I want to take away 10 hard earned years?  Maybe teenagers will look at me and think “she’s old” but one of the finest luxuries of being 30 is that I don’t have to care what teenagers think of me:)

I just think it needs to be said.

In this industry I am constantly flooded with a million products and promises of looking younger.  I can’t help but wonder, if it’s just about looking more beautiful, why can’t that be the goal? Why are young and beautiful synonyms? Why do you have to look “younger”? I have seen many women look more and more beautiful as they age.
What kind of message are we sending when we say the longer you’ve been on this earth the less worth you have? Do we realize everything we claim to support like laughter, being outdoors and working hard AGES us?
We should stop.

I hope I am fortunate enough to get very very very OLD and I hope I’m proud of it, and proud of the long life I’ve lived.
And I hope I don’t ever apologize for it.


You Might Also Like


  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 4:53 am

    Beautifully said!

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 4:57 am

    I follow you because of your make up tips and also your before and afters! This is a wonderful posting! Because I am just about turning 60, and my blog is all about staying interesting and vital, and authentic, this posting just reinforced my view! Keep your outlook on aging, because it is soooooo much more than “looking young”!

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 5:09 am

    I agree! My sweet Dad died nine years ago at age 66 of cancer 🙁 I miss him everyday. He would have LOVED be here to see my six grandchildren with my Mom. Now I’m almost 54! I’m so grateful to be a mother and a grandmother!! I hope to live to see my great-grandchildren 🙂 Being beautiful is knowing who you are and loving those sweet blessings who come into your life! I have always struggled with feeling beautiful the way the world defines beauty, but as I grow older, I see beauty everywhere in so many people. I try to remember that when I look in the mirror and be thankful that I’m still here to enjoy my beautiful family <3
    Thank you, Cars, for your insights! You inspire me!!

  • Reply
    Natalie Robertson
    October 29, 2015 at 5:14 am

    Thank you! I needed this!

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 5:16 am

    Yes, yes, yes! We are obsessed with youth. I decided a few years ago that I want to look my age, because that is the part of life I am living. I am a mom, so why should I try to look like a teenager? Others can reach for that goal; I am happy that I don’t feel the need to compete anymore.

  • Reply
    Elizabeth Sullivan
    October 29, 2015 at 5:32 am

    Amen Sista! Preach it! In all seriousness, I needed this today. Thank you!

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 5:32 am

    Nicely written Cara! I agree with your perspective completely. I think we all need to strive to be the best we can be for the age we happen to be, and gracefully accept the changes that happen to us as we ‘grow’ through life. It’s great being young, but it’s even better being old enough to know who you really are and what really matters.

  • Reply
    Charlotte Thurnauer
    October 29, 2015 at 5:44 am

    Such a nice perspective on this!

  • Reply
    Mary C
    October 29, 2015 at 5:56 am

    I have NEVER before commented on ANY blog post but I just had to say this was BEAUTIFUL!!

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 6:19 am

    Cara, this is why yours is my favorite beauty blog, and the only one I follow. Not only is your style and personality down-to-earth and relatable, but what you define as “beauty” is so encompassing and inspiring.

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 6:21 am

    Thank you. I needed to read this. Hit the big 45 a few weeks ago. If you asked me how old I FEEL Id say 30. Inside tho I know..its 45 and I have been struggling with it. There is SUCH a stigma to anything over 40..The thing is Im in Better shape, feel more confident in Myself, who Iam, How I dress, and where I want to GO the next 40+ years..thinking of changing careers, then I EVER was in my 20’s OR 30’s ( Plus I have a three year old) but even with that I still struggle just hearing the number. Your right I need to really think that its a bragging right to be 45 and have all this LIFE behind AND in front of me!!!! This really touched me..thank you for your words.

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 6:31 am

    Cara!! So perfectly said!
    I am a 44 year old first time mother to a beautiful 5 month old girl. I have never felt as beautiful as I do today, my body made this person! !! My perspective has totally changed, again, and I hope to teach her through example that although my skin is no longer smooth, and my body is a little lumpy, I have so much pride in every line!!

    • Reply
      Just Me
      October 29, 2015 at 1:28 pm

      Amazing Tracy! Blessings to you and your sweet baby! 🙂

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 6:40 am

    I love this! I couldn’t agree more, and honestly as I get older the way I feel happiness deepens. Every year just gets better and better. I have no desire to be a teenager or a young 20 year old again. Great post!

  • Reply
    Meri Waldron
    October 29, 2015 at 6:45 am

    Preach! Thanks for this <3

  • Reply
    Heidi C
    October 29, 2015 at 6:47 am

    What a great message. Thanks for sharing that Cara.

  • Reply
    Deborah Sacchi
    October 29, 2015 at 6:47 am

    You are a very wise young woman!

  • Reply
    Rebekah mckissick
    October 29, 2015 at 6:48 am

    Cara, I’ve been reading you for years (could it be six?!?) and although I love everything you write I don’t normally comment. Can I just say YES YES YES to this!!!!!!! Love that you are so much more than a make up blog, beautiful words ma’lady.

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 7:09 am

    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I am so glad you wrote this! Seriously, could you be any cooler? 🙂 I think not! You made my day, sweet girl! May blessings find you at every step all through your many, many years!

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 7:13 am

    Good Day to Cara and all the ladies who are commenting, I just wanted to say that I turned 50 this past August, am embracing my “silver” and stopped coloring my hair two years ago. Now, to one of my daughters, I seem “old” because I have done this. I am also very overweight having gone thru menopause, death of a mother and a divorce.Am I letting myself “go”, NOOOOO!! Shoot! I read this blog all the time and pick up pointers for hooded eyes especially. I wear my makeup and try to present myself in a good way that is honorable to God. I am embracing the person I am today, not who I was 20 years ago. Would I like to get botox or fillers? If I had the extra money, who knows!! Am I trying to look like someone I wish I were, no, just want to enhance the person I am now and maybe lift those hooded lids a little……. Yes, I have changed, but I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father and give him praise, I do have a body that I can get up and go to work and do the things I need to do. My hope is to find a heaven sent man that also appreciates the person I am in the body I am in, I digress, back to the hair issue, I don’t feel old, I like the silver strands in my dark hair and get complements that my hair looks highlited. The media has portrayed the mature woman as old, dull and useless. No wonder our teenage daughters and young adult daughters perceive us as old as well as men who are available to date! Now, are there days that I feel unattractive and invisible, yes i do. I may not tell you my weight, but I will happily tell you my age. It’s a badge of honor and I hope to be able to tell my age for a long, long time. Cara, thank you so much for embracing us “more mature” gals in the makeovers and tip you give us. Thank you for NOT making us feel invisible! My goal is to try the HAC kit when I can get some extra money to do so.

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 7:16 am

    so well said and beautifully phrased, cara. you have a wonderful attitude, outlook and are so wise beyond your years! thanks for sharing.

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 7:17 am

    I love this. What a refreshing perspective. Thanks for sharing.

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 7:23 am

    This was so well written…one of your best posts ever!

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 7:27 am

    One of the things I truly admire the most about you is the ability to see the beauty in everyone, every face, no matter what. I think that takes such a special person and I’m glad you continue to share that perspective with all of us!

    • Reply
      October 29, 2015 at 8:15 am

      I agree with this. When you say someone is beautiful, you seem to genuinely think so. You are able to see beauty where maybe many others do not. That is something special, especially for someone who works in the beauty industry where the main goal is to make someone look “better” than they naturally do.

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 7:33 am

    Beautifully written and all so very true!

  • Reply
    Ashley Zarr
    October 29, 2015 at 7:36 am

    Ahhhh!!!! YES. THIS!! Absolutely yes. Thank you Cara. Perfect perspective.

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 7:52 am

    i typically read your blog thru Feedly, but today I had to click over just so I could leave a comment to tell you… Beautifully said, thank you!!! ♥ As a 36-year-old mom, I love feeling beautiful, but I don’t want to necessarily look young. I want to look amazing FOR MY AGE and the life I’ve lived.

  • Reply
    Kathi Miller
    October 29, 2015 at 7:55 am

    Everyone needs to read this! Thanks Cara. I, too, follow you because of your progressive attitudes about beauty. I’m 64 with virgin gray naturally curly hair. I agree that perspective improves with age. I want to look my best but in a realistic way! I think it’s sad when someone lives to be a ripe old age but their obituary features their high school graduation photo. Keep reminding us that beauty comes from within.

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 8:01 am

    Amen Sister!!!!

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 8:15 am

    I don’t think I’ve ever commented before but I wanted to let you know that this post is lovely. I sent it to a friend who is always saying, Why do people have to say “she looks good for her age”? Why is looking young such a big thing? Why can’t they say, “She looks good.”?

    Anyway, thank you!

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 8:24 am

    Yes yes yes yes YES. Thank you for this. I view our post baby bodies the same way. THIS is the kind of message I want my daughter and son growing up with. which means that I better be the one modeling it for them in the first place

  • Reply
    Mary Ann Lipstreuer
    October 29, 2015 at 8:26 am

    Well said, Cara!

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 8:33 am

    Well said! I read your post to my daughter who is 30 and my Awesome Mother-in-law who is 85.

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 8:37 am

    Cara, you are my spirit animal! Thank you! I sometimes feel like I am the only one who thinks this way. I’m 37 and live in Orange County…everyone is 40 trying to look 20! Housewives of Orange County anyone?? I just wish people would see the beauty in those laugh lines and the wrinkles that happen around your eyes when you smile. I love my lines, I’ve earned my lines, and I embrace being the oldest in a room because it usually means I’m the wisest ;-).

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 8:45 am

    WOMAN PREACH. For real. I’m 34 and stopped coloring & am very salt & pepper and LOVING it. Get more compliments now than ever before. Own every wrinkle, every gray hair, every larger hip, & every saggier breast. You EARNED it. Get it, Cara. Love it.

    • Reply
      October 29, 2015 at 8:50 am

      I’m 32 and very much love my salt and pepper – even if it IS more salt. Being in your 30s and having insight to let the little things we worried so much about in our 20s go is beautiful!

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 8:48 am

    Well said. I like to say – we should be lucky enough to be this old because some people don’t make it to this age.

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 8:51 am

    I love this post.

  • Reply
    Rachel G
    October 29, 2015 at 9:01 am

    Love this! I am also 30 and I just had my first baby three months ago. Life is soooo different now, but in a wonderful way. I still love makeup and all things beauty, but I am definitely not wasting any energy on obsessing over former youthfulness – too many beautiful things ahead! Great post and may I request more mom-friendly tips?!?

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 9:10 am

    AMEN!! Getting old is a BLESSING! Of course, there is plenty of room for improvement in my looks…but “looking your age” should never be a bad thing!

  • Reply
    Jess Beran
    October 29, 2015 at 9:24 am

    While I LOVE LOVE LOVE your makeover posts, this might be one of my very favorites you’ve ever done. So much truth. Our society forsakes wisdom, all that we could glean from age, and from the age of those ahead of us, and chases after youth and immaturity. It’s completely illogical. I love being around people older than me. I want to learn from them and hear about the things they experienced. Like my mother in law who grew up with no indoor plumbing and went to school in a one room schoolhouse. Couldn’t she teach me a few things about gratefulness, contentment, and hard work????
    And praise the Lord I don’t care what teenagers think anymore. That’s exhausting. 🙂 Thank you for posting!

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 9:39 am

    I share your views on this, Cara. I am 54 and have never felt wiser and sexier 🙂

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 10:34 am

    and that was a beautiful story by a beautiful lady………

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 11:02 am

    I really needed to read this today! Thank you so much!

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 11:16 am

    Hey Cara,
    I read all of your posts and enjoy them, but this one I just love…as a 30 something woman I’m really starting to “get it”…thanks gorgeous!

    Michelle in Canada

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 11:42 am

    Beautiful perspective that is so well-expressed. Thank you!

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 12:18 pm

    Hi Cara, this was a beautiful post, and I only wish we lived in a world where experience and wisdom was cherished. My biggest problem with my age (44) is knowing I’m less attractive to my husband. We don’t want to believe it, but men are programmed to be attracted to 17 – 25 year olds. No matter how much I try to accept myself, there is no getting past that.

  • Reply
    Julia B.
    October 29, 2015 at 12:31 pm

    This post is wonderful. I love when people are excited for their birthdays, and I hate seeing people feel sad about their birthdays! Thank you Cara!

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 1:13 pm

    Wonderful! But Cara…you do NOT have mom hair! haha…

    BTW…I’m totally loving my Maskcara HAC makeup….come take a look at my face.. I’m 54 and I swear
    it takes 10 years off my face! Just today a receptionist at an appointment asked what
    I do to my face to make it glow! I told her about your makeup and gave her the link to
    your website!

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 1:32 pm

    I love this!! I couldn’t agree more 🙂

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 4:16 pm

    I LOVE this, Cara!!! Thank you for the reminders!!!

  • Reply
    Heidi Taylor
    October 29, 2015 at 4:31 pm

    I whole heartedly agree with everything you said—NOW that being said….I have been waking up with puffy eyes the last few weeks, allergies, aging (I’m gracefully inching towards 40) I’m not sure exactly but do you have any good remedies or products for puffy eyes? They are bleck!!

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 5:57 pm

    Love this post! Reminds me of that song by John Mayer, Stop This Train (have tissue nearby). We need to appreciate exactly right where we are and the sweetness of the moments we have now. I used to be scared of growing older but as I approach 43, I realize how each stage of life brought so many blessings. Every line, wrinkle, stretch mark, saggy skin, scar (seen and unseen) is proof of life that’s happened and the many many things I have been gifted with:) Bravo Cara on a great post!

  • Reply
    October 29, 2015 at 10:08 pm

    “Maybe teenagers will look at me and think “she’s old” but one of the finest luxuries of being 30 is that I don’t have to care what teenagers think of me.” SO PERFECT.

  • Reply
    October 30, 2015 at 8:16 am

    Unfortunately these clichés that fill the world. In my humble opinion, what counts is to remain always oneself and love each other, love each other above everything and everyone. Life is, is ours, and we must live it as best we can without ever losing the gifts from us. 🙂

  • Reply
    Sophia Federighi
    October 30, 2015 at 9:58 am

    You are amazing. Seriously.

  • Reply
    Alex N
    October 30, 2015 at 1:08 pm

    I totally side with Crush’s argument! I remember when I was little thinking ” Mom is the most gorgeous woman in the world!” and I never understood why she didn’t win the People’s magazine ranking. I also always thought she looked (and still think) prettiest in the morning before getting ‘ready’…. She was in her 40s. I asked her what she thought the prettiest age was and she always said 40s. She’s in her late 60s now, I bet if I asked her now the prettiest age, she’d say 60s! I’m so grateful she instilled this idea of beauty in me so early because I am always looking forward to how I will look and grow in the next decade. At 26 now, I can’t wait to see me when I’m 36!

    Thanks, Cara, for this lovely post and reminder 🙂 <3

  • Reply
    October 31, 2015 at 12:41 am

    BEAUTIFULLY put ….from someone way past 30!!!!
    Awesome perspective…..going forward now!

  • Reply
    October 31, 2015 at 5:43 am

    EPIC!!!! Thank you so much for posting this. I’m 31 with an infant and struggling with post baby body and just being 31 lol. This post is so timely for me. Thank you for the renewed perspective 🙂

  • Reply
    October 31, 2015 at 10:56 am

    Long time reader, first time commenter. That was so beautiful, Cara. Exactly my thoughts on aging and gratitude. Thank you for inspiring me today! Keep up the good work!

  • Reply
    Cassie Hahl
    November 1, 2015 at 5:41 am

    You ROCK! I follow your blog because you are a real, beautiful person! Thank you for this post. I will take on this new perspective with attitude. Thank you, thank you!

  • Reply
    Mary Haire
    November 1, 2015 at 10:58 am

    I find your blog to be so inspiring and interesting. Thank you for your perspective on aging it was so well said. As someone who has been in the business over 20 some years, it’s nice to see an opinion with some depth of thought.

  • Reply
    November 1, 2015 at 9:39 pm

    THANK YOU! I turned 27 two days ago and it was probably the most depressing birthday I’ve had, I couldn’t really explain why except I was feeling old. I am honestly afraid of getting old, and I don’t entirely know why. The innocence and free spirited life of youth is gone, and the responsibilities weigh heavily now. Sure I’ll miss my youthful skin and fast metabolism, but I think for me I miss most the care free moments. I don’t think of myself as an adult, to me I am still 21….. Anyway, this post was really timely, so thank you. I needed to hear it.

    • Reply
      November 3, 2015 at 8:30 am

      Here’s a secret…no one thinks of themselves as an adult. 😉

  • Reply
    November 2, 2015 at 7:21 am

    I love this post. thank you.

  • Reply
    November 3, 2015 at 11:37 am

    Hi Cara…first of all, i want you to know that I follow you a long time ago not just because I love make up, but because of the way you think…thank you very much for your reflexions and to share them with us, I completely agree with you, just, we need someone to remind us that beauty it´s not as advertisements and products show us.

  • Reply
    November 3, 2015 at 9:13 pm

    I have thought this so much lately. Thank you for putting my thoughts into words so eloquently!

  • Reply
    Lindsey Foundos
    November 4, 2015 at 11:06 am

    That was great! I never reply to blogs, but this one I had to. Thanks for that perspective. I’m 35 and needed to hear it!

  • Reply
    November 4, 2015 at 12:09 pm

    WoW! Thank you for this post! I related so much to every single word. My 30th birthday is tomorrow and there is no way I would go back to being 21 again. I love what you said – From a life perspective as I get older I just keep gaining more. It’s so true and inspiring to think of it that way. I had my first baby 4 months ago and it was the hardest and more rewarding thing I have ever done. The lessons I have learned and the experiences that I have had so far in my life make me who I am today and I am a better person because of that. I look forward to keep gaining, gaining, gaining as I get older with each passing year. :)) Such a beautiful, eye-opening post!

  • Reply
    November 5, 2015 at 11:22 am

    Great post!!

  • Reply
    November 8, 2015 at 6:01 pm

    This is such great perspective!

    xx Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

  • Reply
    November 13, 2015 at 10:28 am

    wow. Thanks.

  • Reply
    November 15, 2015 at 8:55 am

    Somehow, you made many of my own random detached thoughts bind together with a similar sense of pride! I’m 28, and reaching the end of my 20s has seemed like an intimidating shadow creeping over me, though one I’m more and more facing with pride. I’ve taken my first on-campus college course this semester (though I’m near the end of this phase- I’ve taken a few years of courses online) and I actually WAS shocked to see that I was clearly the oldest in the class, but my concern on that quickly faded as I heard a group behind me complaining daily that the class runs too late, and their time could be better spent at a bar or club since it was an evening class.

    I also had a run in with a neighbor, asking about advice on family and such- he is just under 2 years younger than me. He was surprised when I had told him my age, and told me he thought I was in my mid to late 30s, not because of how I looked, but because I seemed so much more wise, experienced and motherly. While he might have been trying to cover his own behind about the looks, I blissfully tell myself he was telling the truth (after all- I occasionally stop to buy cigarettes for my mother-in-law, and I am carded every time- usually with an “oh wow, sorry, I thought you were younger”- Just let me relate the two, okay?!) While I was conflicted about it, I eventually walked away taking it as a compliment, with a little voice in the back of my mind saying “How old are you getting that you’re not insulted?”

    Sorry, this got very long, but I felt inspired! One last tidbit- I remember telling my mom that it seems as though I’ve found my first stubborn fine line (even if I seem to be the only one to notice it) and it is a smile line, and that I suppose I should be glad to have a reminder that I’ve smiled so much. (I was a bit sarcastic, but thought it true either way.)

    Thank you!

  • Reply
    Lara’s Links: Wednesday | A Growth Guide
    December 4, 2015 at 1:31 pm

    […] Older (Maskcara) […]

  • Reply
    January 3, 2016 at 8:45 pm

    Love this! Thank you!

  • Leave a Reply