My Life

The insecurity battle.

I don’t know why but lately I’ve really been struggling with feelings of inadequacy.
It feels like everywhere I turn someone is doing something better than I ever could.
Thoughts going through my head a lot telling me I’m not pretty enough, skinny enough, a good enough mom or wife, a good enough blogger or talented enough makeup artist.
I swear I spend half the day tearing myself down, then trying to reassure myself and then tearing myself down again.

It gets a little exhausting.

I’ve felt like this before and I have found there are a few ways to rid myself of the totally self destructive cycle.
Here’s what I’ve done in the past:

First: Admit it.
For some reason I feel a whole ton better when I just get it off my back to someone who has my back.
Like right now. I’m just saying “Hey, I’m feeling insecure!”
It seems like an embarrassing thing to admit  but once I just put it out there, I feel better.
Like, I’ve given that internal battle a name and now it doesn’t seem so hard to squash.

Second: Find the root and replant it where it belongs.

Usually, for me, it’s a three part problem.

Part one: I’m doing a lot of comparisons. Social media is a KILLER for this. If I’m feeling even a smidge insecure one scroll session on instagram can triple it. It’s a snowball effect but once I notice it’s happening (and I admit it) I can usually consciously change my perspective by complimenting and congratulating those on my feed instead of comparing myself to them.

Part two: I’m not giving it 100%.
Listen, I can tell myself all day long that I’m wonderful and amazing and all of that but if I don’t follow that up with action it will never make me feel any better. I have found that if I try to make improvements, even small ones, it can make a world of difference.

Part three: I’m just thinking about me too much altogether.
The truth is it’s impossible to be having these internal battles about being good enough if I’m busy thinking about or helping others. The quickest way for me to get a re-do on how I feel about myself has always been by getting excited thinking about someone else.

So, I’m coming to you for some inspiration.
I’ve already admitted it
I found the root.
& I’m working on some small but big changes (getting better organized & challenging myself with some things I’m usually too lazy for:)
Now I want to do some service! I know part of that is just keeping my eyes peeled for chances around me but, since it’s Christmas, I was also hoping to hear some good ideas for you guys!
Do you have any cool experiences or fun ways for sharing the Christmas spirit of giving?
I know just reading them and making a plan will make me feel excited and happy!


Merry Christmas!

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  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 1:42 am

    I like to give to someone I know anonymously. It is the BEST feeling in the world. I get to hear how they felt about it later from them and they never know it was me because I never tell them and I still reap the rewards. There’s always someone that needs a bag of groceries, a kind note, or something to pamper themselves with

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 1:56 am

    Arcy, that’s a great idea!!! Cara; thanks for your post, I was just feeling like that yesterday! I happened to be at my nephews 2nd birthday party. That’s where I found a trick to cope, looking round at all the kids, I thought what would little me have thought about big me and my issues, she would have told me to stop being a big old Grinch and have fun. So that’s a good trick, apply a child’s carefree attitude to some of the bad thoughts or big stuff, they just get on with doing something fun then the hard things don’t feel so bad. Happy Christmas and thanks for your posts, you give a lot and it helps so much some days!!

  • Reply
    Chrissie Dyson
    December 8, 2014 at 2:58 am

    The hardest time for me as a mum was at about the three month mark. My baby was settled and happy, slept well etc. Frankly I felt bored! Not post natally depressed! I’ve been following and I dearly wish I had known about it when my son was born. I have routines, have become less of a perfectionist. I make time for me because it is crucial. If I don’t who will?

    Have you ever taken a step back to look at your life? Pretend you’re writing about another person, describe it all in the third person. You do a heck of a lot, the goodness flows all over the world. We are all so grateful to you. Don’t burn yourself out sweetie!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 3:05 am

    I get this all the time, especially because of social media. I have to take a step back and think ‘anything on social media is a controlled snap shot of time, people control the perception they give off and its always going to be good’

    Brunette in Louboutins

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 3:16 am

    Cara, I compleltly understand where you’re coming from. There are a few things that work for me. Donating time instead of money to soup kitchens, senior center, VA hospitals, etc. That always gives me perspective that my life could be so much worse.Talking to people that have it worse always puts your mind in a calmer state. Exercise more when you get like this. The final thing is talk therapy. It’s not easy at first but will give you more perspective and the tools to work through these times.
    I appreciate greatly that you’ve put your self out there. That is a huge step and a brave one.
    I have PTSD that started at age 7-20 then wth my marriage. I can tell you I do what you do everyday. The above aren’t cure alls but together you will find yourself in a better place. Promise!
    Have a wonderful holiday, enjoy your family and friends. Some of us don’t have either so be grateful for that, especialy now.

    God Bless

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 3:23 am

    Cara you are so talented and doing just what only YOU can do.Live your life like no one else can. You are blessed and you bless all who read your posts.

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 3:34 am

    When I see someone who seems too perfect to be true, instead of being jealous I try to tell myself she probably has chronic yeast infections. (or insert any invisible battle you like 😉 No one is perfect!

    I always think of a story my sister told me. She’d been to Mrs Perfect’s house several times for baby showers/etc and was totally jealous of how perfect everything seemed. Then one day she happened to be in the neighborhood and dropped by unannounced and the house was a disaster.

    I have read so many articles on how Facebook can depress you, but for me it’s more blogs. Even now the trend toward makeup-free celebrities or bloggers showing the “real” stuff surrounding their edited/cropped shots (which ends up being their unmessy house) still makes me feel “less”. It’s alllll edited, just as magazines before were/are, we just need to be conscious consumers. But it’s hard!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 3:51 am

    It’s so easy as moms and bloggers to feel insecure! I totally get what you are going through! I’ve been struggling with this for the past year myself. It has really helped me to have a great support system. Talking with your husband about it, your friends, or even family. Just let them know that you need a little extra support right now. They will totally give it to you! Also, visiting sephora always helps haha!

    As far as service projects, I think it’s really fun to make small gifts for your friends and neighbors. I like to make little plates of Christmas candy and give them away. It always makes me happy to give to others!


  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 3:59 am

    Tis the season to be stressed and take it out on yourself. I am going through that negative self talk and sometimes bashing myself at this very moment. I snap out of it by doing two things, one focusing on my two beautiful and amazing little girls and two giving to others. Sometimes though giving to others can be another self loathing adventure so you have to be careful of how much and to whom do you give. Even though you don’t think you expect anything in return I sometimes find if I don’t get a response I thought undeserved ir wanted I get upset. So, it really has to be giving without expecting
    a n y t h i n g in return. And well, focusing on my gorgeous babes and how amazingly sweet and loving oh and of course perfectly beautiful, always makes me snap out of a sour mood! Sometimes harder than others but for the most part it’s a sure fire way to get some sunshine back in my day!

    In all honesty, it helps to know that someone as gorgeous, talented and intelligent as you are can get insecure at times. You look gorgeous! And I love your blog!

    – Tammy

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 4:12 am

    Cara just volunteer somewhere, anywhere for a day and you’ll see just how lucky you are. I know I do so much for my kids and I forget about myself sometimes or lost myself in kid world. You have a beautiful life and family. I am envious how wonderful you are. 🙂

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 4:22 am

    Cara I live in Southern Utah also. A great opportunity for service here is Santa for Seniors. I believe their Facebook page is http://www.facebook/santa4seniors I believe the dates are the 9-11. In my family we always choose a needy family in our neighborhood or church and would do the 12 Days of Christmas for them. We would do a combination of things they might need and also fun things that align with the 12 Days theme for the kids. Your church leaders would know of families near you that could use a little extra help. You are amazing!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 5:03 am

    Cara….You have NO IDEA how much this admission from
    Such a beautiful and talented woman that I admire tremendously means to me! I too feel this way often and find it a constant struggle in my head to keep positive and try not to compare (in many situations). I also find myself using the same strategies as you! I guess that’s the best we can do! It’s so hard not to beat ourselves up!! Please know that you have so many women who are grateful for your blogs, sites and tutorials! You’ve helped us improve our self esteem and confidence! I hope that helps you feel better, in some way! Thank you for being “you!” Cause you’re pretty darn good at it! Merry Christmas!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 5:14 am

    Please do not feel I adequate. You are such an inspiration to all who read your blog. Thank you for always sharing your words of wisdom whether it’s in relation to what’s on the outside or what’s within! You are a splendid role model and a beautiful person inside and out!!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 5:58 am

    Hey Cara! I love your blog and this post. I often go through dips of insecurity and the blues myself. I think it can be helpful to step back and see that that you’ve just had another baby, you’re probably putting some pressure on yourself to be a great mom to both kids in a whole new way, plus wife, plus daughter, plus blogger. That’s a lot of role pressure, and with roles comes comparison. Two things that I think can help is notice if it maybe feels a little like anxiety/depression, which would be totally normal, and exercise. I’m a therapist, and even I forget this stuff.

    • Reply
      December 9, 2014 at 8:22 am

      I have to completely agree! Cara, you may have hit the nail on the head with your self analysis, and I pray you have. But, if this continues past the stress of the season or if you find that your solutions don’t help, then don’t continue trying to fight it alone.

      I was just diagnosed with postpartum depression after my baby turned 7 months…. and I had been struggling since my baby was about 2 weeks old. Even with all the information out there, neither my husband, nor myself suspected PPD until I finally gave in and went to my doctor. I had convinced myself that it was all my fault. My entire family is benefiting from the help I’m receiving and I don’t want to see anyone else struggle with it when help is available.

      Merry Christmas!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 6:19 am


    First of all, what you do is a gift of giving You have a true ministry. Your story helped me the first time I ever read it. . I have followed you about a year and as a divorced, more mature women who will soon be 50, you have blessed me in so many ways. Your precious spirit and plus you are a very talented makeup artist who keeps it real for us real women! (especially hooded lids glasses wearers)
    Thank you, when one of God’s children is under attack, we need to Push back…Now, a thing for me is giving anonymously or doing something anonymously for another person, either family or friends during the Holidays.

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 6:37 am

    A friend of mine does an advent calendar of giving with her kids. Instead of getting chocolate or little gifts in their calendar, they get an instruction with a giving to-do: they will write a note to a grandparent, or find some canned goods to donate or volunteer for a project. With so many days on the calendar it would be challenging to think of something both meaningful and not to overextend, but it makes her feel better and helps her teach her kids not to be too focused on receiving during the holiday season. It’s past December 1, so a little late to do it advent-style, but I’m sure you could start now by doing one little thing a day. Christian might be old enough to participate too!

  • Reply
    Robin Newton
    December 8, 2014 at 7:09 am

    Hi Cara!! I’m a follower way over here in Georgia! I’m starting to do things like this (did it for the first time late yesterday afternoon on the way to church)—you see, on the way to our church, we pass by a homeless man who has all his stuff and lives under a bridge. I had always meant to do something for him, but never remembered when I was at home. Well…yesterday afternoon I remembered, and made a care package for him, with bottle of water and snacks and a hand-written note from our family. When we passed by where he lives, we slowed down our car (this area is right off an interstate, so there’s no stopping!) and my 15 year old son carefully threw the package out the window so the man would see it. We have prayed for him, and are hoping he enjoyed receiving this surprise. Whether he did or not does not matter—what matters is that we did the right thing in God’s eyes, and also my teenage son’s eyes were opened a little bit more to what really matters in this life, which is honoring our Lord.
    Thanks for reading!!

  • Reply
    Ines NC
    December 8, 2014 at 7:10 am

    Great blog post. Loved how you described everything. I rarely have those days now where I just simple am not comfortable in my own skin. But nowadays they are a rare occurrence. Its just like you said, when they do happen, the best is to keep busy. On those days I find that the hardest is to go through the door into the outside world. I feel exposed, uncomfortable and don’t want to be seen…but I always keep the same thought: today is just a bad day, tomorrow will be better…

  • Reply
    Pat Harrison
    December 8, 2014 at 7:12 am

    Cara, I can tell by your blog you are an extremely talented and thoughtful person. Use your talents with hair and makeup to give a makeover to senior women or women at a battered women’s shelter. Making someone else shine will reflect back to you with positive light. Also, don’t be so harsh on yourself!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 7:32 am

    Cara, you have such an incredible gift at communicating that it is hard to imagine you being insecure. Your blog is the best; and I read dozens, because of your ability to speak from the heart in concise detail and in a manner that makes your readers feel like they know you personally. I have learned oodles of tips from you and delight in reading anything & everything you post. During this season, I practice giving joy to everyone around me. One of my simplest methods is to smile at everyone. Some seem shocked, some seem delighted, some seem puzzled, but no one can ever say that a smile was not welcomed or appreciated.

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 7:39 am

    We all feel this way…every woman you see does…it’s how we choose to overcome this feelings. Do something that makes you richer in love, in joy…it’s experiences in life that makes us richer, have more character..there are moments when I feel so insecure in my looks, my job, my relationship..moments where I don’t like anything in my closet, and then I’m struck with a smack of reality, realizing I’m beyond blessed…I recently signed up to deliver Meals on Wheels, and can’t wait to bring a little bit of joy to someone’s kitchen who is not able to provide a meal for themselves for whatever reason…making others feel good does something for the soul 🙂 thank you for all of your posts, and for making all of us feel beautiful…you are a gorgeous person inside and out!!!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 7:50 am

    Cara! You are the sweetest mot genuine person I have ever not met. Haha. I can just tell through your blog and email responses how wonderful you are, don’t ever let yourself get too down!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 7:52 am

    I have a favorite “give back” that works year round. I like to go to the Starbucks drive-thru and buy for the car behind me. Someone did this for me one morning, and it made my whole day! It’s something simple, but it puts a smile on my face, and someone gets free coffee!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 7:58 am

    I just wanted you to know that you are the beauty blogger I have found to be the most inspirational, attainable and worth listening to. Every single product you’ve recommended that I’ve purchased has been fantastic! You may judge yourself harshly, or think others have it together, but to your readers, you’re the best!

  • Reply
    Julie Paolillo
    December 8, 2014 at 8:00 am

    Cara– you are so sweet and down to earth! I just love reading your posts and learning from you. I feel insecure at times too and agree with everything you said…. Keep up the great work and thanks for being you!!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 8:11 am

    It sounds a little like POST PARDUM, your great, it happens to a lot of ladies. Just call your dr. Keep up the good work.

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 8:13 am

    Cara you are a TRUE inspiration to me, and I’m sure many other ladies out there. You are a Mom, Wife, and Brilliant Makeup Artist. I have learned so much from you and what I LOVE about your style, is its practical! I am not great at makeup, I know what I like and what I don’t. You helped me, a simple woman with NO direction on makeup transform a little more into something easy, manageable, and LOOKS great style. Thank you. In a Rick Warren daily hope about worry, it said that worry was like opening your umbrella before it starts to rain… Be happy now, don’t worry, and DON’T open your umbrella until it starts to rain.

    For our random acts of kindness this year, our work has challenged everyone to doing RAKS… we are at over 100 now with a week more to go on our matching. We are going to give to the local foodbanks in honor of all the RAKS reported. My co-worker and I bought (anonymously) four tables lunch at our favorite bistro… it was so great to silently see the reaction of the people as they tried to pay for their lunch… and all in all only gave each $75, and that was leaving the server a $50 tip! I love this time of year, and that was fun to do!

    Merry Christmas!

  • Reply
    Nancy Halladay
    December 8, 2014 at 8:23 am

    I love the Dating Divas site – it has a monthly love calendar and other tips on how to give meaningful gifts to the ones you love. Giving always gets my mind off of me (when it’s settled there too long). Remember, sometimes Facebook = Fakebook – most of it isn’t real, just a snapshot of a moment; usually with a filter, zoom and arm fat cut off – HA! Happy Holidays! Love your blog!!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 8:24 am

    Oh darling, Lets just say you are fabulous and enjoy your holiday with your sweet little family. I love your blog. It is one of the first I read on a daily basis. I pin just about every tutorial and try my best to mimic your Technics so that I can look as gorgeous and fabulous as you and your models do!

  • Reply
    Cindy feedham
    December 8, 2014 at 8:33 am

    You are by far the best beauty blogger out there. I say this because you are real and always let a piece of you shine through. No fake stuff with you and that’s why we all love you and your tips. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve also shed a tear from your blog from your brother to christen ‘s dad they all were heart felt. Thanks for being you Cara and we all know you have a baby now and a little family. Even a quick blog from you is better than no blog. Quit beating yourself up and know you are the best. Xox

    • Reply
      February 23, 2015 at 4:33 pm

      Shut up you fat moron.

  • Reply
    Joy u.
    December 8, 2014 at 8:37 am

    Funny, because I had a day like that yesterday too. I went straight to your blog this morning (out of all the bloggers i follow) because I like yours BEST. Not just saying that, but after seeing your post I thought I should tell you that, since you’d never know it. I like your blog cuz its the most educational one I’ve found. Youre not just only full of pretty outfits/hair/makeup pictures. You’re REAL. You’re a great teacher, and I’ve used helpful hints from you, more than any other blogger. Usually rest, a goodnight of sleep, a great workout, coupled with some good talks with my Lord help me out. If not, I just keep on thinking “this too shall pass”…….

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 8:58 am

    Cara, do you think any of this could be the baby blues? Maybe so, maybe not…but you’ll get through it!! Be strong and keep your chin up. I have feelings creep in like this all of the time–being postpartum certainly didn’t help me a couple of years ago! 🙂 I am so thankful that I didn’t have social media when I was an insecure teenager…can you imagine!!!?? YIkes!! Even as a 30-something adult though, it’s still tough sometimes. But, just try to keep things in perspective. You have come a long way and have a lot going for you. Count your blessings.

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 9:04 am

    I never comment but I’m subscribed to your blog and always read your posts. I just wanted to say that you write some of the most touching, vulnerable, honest posts. And always inspiring. You’re a doer. You may get caught up for a minute, but I love the way you take action to correct anything going not how you’d like. And for the record, you’re the only makeup artist I subscribe to because I think you know EVERYTHING about makeup and you make people look gorgeous, but you’re still so down to earth. I always follow your advice and you’ve saved my eyebrows! Love you Cara!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 9:10 am

    We do shoe boxes for operation Christmas Child. I let the kids go with me to pick out the stuff for the shoe boxes and they help arrange it. We also give to food and toy drives. I also try to leave larger than normal tips at restaurants. I waitressed for 4 years through high school and college and I remember how it was to deal with often grumpy people and the low pay. I know supporting a family on a food service worker’s pay has got to be very difficult.

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 9:18 am

    This realness is a big part of your draw. Beauty, and the people behind it, need to be accessible, relatable. Keep being honest with your readers. It’s very refreshing! One thing I like doing this time of year is calling the local nursing home and finding out which residents don’t have family to visit them or bring them gifts. And take your kiddos when you go, those people loooove seeing their sweet faces.

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 9:33 am

    i think that not giving 100% is a lot of the time why i may feel inadequate and social media is totally a devil in disguise! i love how honest you are. i think you are very talented and you are a better blogger than i will ever be, remember how far you’ve come and keep striving for your goals 🙂

    xoxo, kiely

  • Reply
    Janie Stoker
    December 8, 2014 at 9:39 am

    Cara, thank you for your open and honest thoughts. We all get these feelings from time to time. Just remember that we are comparing our weaknesses to others strengths. We can turn our weaknesses into strengths if we believe we can and look to others for inspiration and motivation rather than letting their strengths make us feel inadequate. Fortunately we are all different and all bring different strengths to the party. How boring would it be if we were all the same? What motivation would we have to progress and become better people if we all were perfect at everything? We have a loving Savior and Heavenly Father who knows us each personally and loves us beyond imagination. No matter what we do they are always, always there for us. Just pray for strength and guidance and you will feel peace come to you. This has always worked for me. Don’t forget how many you are serving each day with your posts. Serving others and seeing the good that you can contribute helps to see the world in a more positive light. Keep shining! You are loved!!

  • Reply
    Emerald Earrings
    December 8, 2014 at 9:59 am

    My absolute favorite is the Operation Christmas Child Shoeboxes. I believe all the deadlines are up for this year, but check them out for next Christmas!

  • Reply
    Tiffany Carrizales
    December 8, 2014 at 10:05 am

    This post was really relatable for me. I lost my first son almost 14 years ago and have struggled with depression since. I was doing good for a while, but this last year I have been going through tests and treatment options for Epilepsy and it has stripped me of my identity and independence. I have had epilepsy since I was 13 but it was controlled, now it’s came with a vengeance. I WAS a police officer and had been for 17 years, law enforcement is the only thing I have ever done. I’m now facing disability and can’t even drive myself to the store. This battle has made me feel very inadequate as a wife and mother, also a burden to my husband and mom. One thing that helped me was REALIZING that there are so many others that have worse problems or no one to help them. You are a brave woman and a very hard worker, and you have succeeded! You’re the ONLY beauty blogger I actually keep up with! Hold your head high and know that many ENVY you in the way you envy those in your feed.

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 10:18 am

    I have been having the same battlers myself lately! Thank you so so much for sharing this. And just letting me realize That this happens to everyone and your not alone. I love receiving your emails everyday. You are so fun to watch and listen to. Your email today has helped my day just get better :).

    • Reply
      December 8, 2014 at 10:19 am

      Battles*_ replying on a phone ha isn’t the best.

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 10:20 am

    I have the same problem, but My issue, I’ve been trying to eat healthy work out and lose weight, my workout walking buddy, who is 10+ yrs younger, joined a program, loved it, lost 30lb (which was 20lb too much) and is now promoting this program. I had to “unfollow” her from FB because I couldn’t stand the fact that I was being so envious of her that I couldn’t be excited, proud or encouraging to her, which is what I really wanted to be, and it made me want to quit my program altogether, which is basically what happened. The only thing positive so far is that I’ve recognized my issue & come to terms with the fact that’s ok for me to a different/lower fitness level than my friend and be ok with that, and now I just need to get remotivated!!!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 10:42 am

    Cara– This post came at a time when I am feeling the exact same way! You’re not alone and it’s so helpful to read your tips on how you get through times like these. You have an amazing blog that I always get excited to read. You’re an incredibly beautiful and inspiring woman inside and out! You speak from your heart which is one of my favorite things about you. Thanks for all that you do. One thing I am doing this holiday season is trying to recognize to a few people who make my days brighter and may not know it. . Another way I am giving back is by donating blood…maybe not everyone’s first choice, but a very worthy cause.

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 10:44 am

    My family used to get the cheap nativity sets after Christmas and when the next year came around we would choose a family, ding dong ditch and leave a nativity figurine for twelve days before Christmas. On Christmas eve we’d deliver baby Jesus and meet the family. My mom always picked a family from church that really needed some Christmas cheer. It was wonderful. As kids we loved it because it was a good reason to doorbell ditch, the families loved it because of the Christmas cheer it brought. It might be difficult to do with a baby, but I bet your older boy would love it.

  • Reply
    Hope Howland (@HHDesigns)
    December 8, 2014 at 10:52 am

    Oh girl.. it’s true.. if we aren’t careful we are too hard on ourselves.. you are amazing… not because of anything we can see or what you do.. but simply because you are…

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 10:57 am

    I battle with insecurity every so often too, and it’s funny how I seem to do it to myself. Nothing in my life will have changed, and all the sudden I become insecure and worried, feeling inadequate and envisioning everything falling apart. Eventually I bounce back, but it is always nice to have someone there to reassure you and understand that you’re feeling insecure (without judgement).
    Cara, like many others, your blog is by far my favourite (& I follow quite a few). You are a truly genuine and beautiful person, and an incredibly inspirational. I’m sorry you’re feeling insecure & I hope you’re feeling better soon.

    What I’ve started to do is contribute to the toy drive that the police hold in my city, then they distribute the toys to children for Christmas. The thought of giving a child a toy that they will love, play with or cuddle makes me feel so good! I only wish I could be there to see their face when they receive it.

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 10:57 am

    We select one or two families and ding dong ditch with a “12 Days of Christmas” countdown. We have been doing this for almost 20 years, so we have given to many families. We give Christmas stories, treats, and recently, we started giving a piece of a nativity set every day. We also enlisted the help of our elf to bring service, and now our elf brings a note with a suggestion of service (like leave a treat for the mailman). When the service is complete, our elf might get into mischief as he reports to Santa, but he returns with a new service suggestion.

    Start your Christmas book collection- it’s one of the best traditions! No matter how hectic the day, ending with a story and scripture strengthens the family and brings peace to the home.

    The traditions we develop with our families are more than fun memories. They become the constants that bring stability when we have years of difficulties.

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 11:09 am

    Tina Turner said it best in a TV interview I saw many years ago, “If something brings negativity into your life – get rid of it.” Wise words that I have followed ever since. That includes ditching Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and for Tina it included ditching Ike Turner. We all know how that worked out for her 😉

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 11:14 am

    I feel like we’re all doing the best we can, and you as a mom of two little ones seems like a HUGE accomplishment from day to day, coming from me with no kids. You are keeping them well and happy and healthy, and that’s a huge task and so admirable. Please don’t be so hard on yourself… and don’t let the deceptions of social media get you down!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 11:23 am

    Cara, I completely hear you! I finally decided to rid myself of Facebook because I felt like I was comparing myself to other people and their lives. I truly love your blog, which I discovered when I was on maternity leave. I struggled with postpartum depression and a baby with colic. It was so refreshing to read your blog especially during that challenging time. I appreciate your openness and honesty. It’s so nice to read a blog that doesn’t dwell on the materialistic things in life. I think your blog has such a great balance! Thanks for being you!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 11:29 am

    Wow, Cara–you really hit the nail on the head. It seems to be built-in for women, that self-doubt and feeling we’re just not good enough. My husband’s physical build is that of the 90-lb. weakling that you used to see ads about on the back of comic books, but he doesn’t go around thinking his calves are too skinny. He doesn’t look in the mirror and think his butt’s too flat. Men seem to inherently have better self-esteem than women. Is it the way we raise and teach them, or is it coded in our DNA?
    Either way, the only way to get away from the negative thoughts is to get outside of yourself and do something for someone else. And what better time of year–lots of chances to volunteer during Yuletide. And if you find something interesting and fun while doing your part at Christmas, you might be able to turn it into something you’ll enjoy all year long.
    We always think of children, but here’s a thought: women in nursing homes. Many of them don’t have visitors, or not often. They’ve lost a lot in their lives–their husbands, their homes–but they don’t sit around feeling sorry for themselves. They’re really just girls in old bodies. I like to put together bags for them with fancy scented bath products, body powder, and primping tools. And visit them–your time means more than you will ever know!
    Thanks for the reminder…

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 11:39 am

    Cara, I check your blog daily! This is TOTALLY what I needed today. I also go thru cycles like this and unfortunately, I am also in this rut right now. What you said makes perfect sense. And to give YOU and ego boost, and to also help myself… You have inspired me in so many ways! The first time I found your blog, I was at a very low point in life. I had just found out my husband was cheating on me. The first post ever that I read was “your love story” about you and Nick. Crazy huh? Again, that was exactly what I needed to hear at that time. You made me feel like there was hope for me. I immediately started looking at your blog every day. So, in the process of my new “self re-discovery” I watched your make up tutorials, hair tutorials, mimicked what I had learned from them which helped me feel much more pretty and gain self confidence. I also have a daughter(with my NOW Ex husband) who is about to turn 4. Since I’ve started following your blog, I am now following many other beauty bloggers. You are by far my most favorite! Your site is the only one I check on a daily basis. Anyway, I think the world of you. You are extremely talented, great writer, Gorgeous, have a beautiful heart and seem to be a great mother. Keep Smiling and doing what you’re doing.

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 11:40 am


    Have you ever considered using your amazing talents to help poor or homeless women feel better about themselves? I am a nurse practitioner who founded and volunteers at a wellness center for poor and homeless individuals in my community. I know that the women that I work with at our center would be overjoyed to experience some pampering that they could otherwise never afford. My work at the center helps me to stop engaging in so much negative “self-talk”. It is hard to think about yourself when the person in front of you has no food to eat and no place to call “home”. We all have our gifts that we bring to the table. Your gifts include a very engaging personality and a talent for making women of all ages and backgrounds look amazing. I am guessing that there are a lot of less fortunate people in your community who could use what you have to offer….

  • Reply
    Mary @ Gold Layer Cake
    December 8, 2014 at 12:01 pm

    I’m definitely guilty of this, too. Lately I haven’t felt it as much, but I know it’s just a matter of time before it comes up again. It is a difficult feeling to shake..

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    My boys & I packed gift boxes for military overseas and the boys wrote them letters.

    For you, I would look at ways to take your talent for makeovers to people who need a boost – – maybe teenage girls in the hospital for the holidays?

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    Wow….your post could not have come at a better time for me. I feel this way CONSTANTLY!!!! And, I don’t like it!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 12:09 pm

    This is beautiful and exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for sharing 🙂

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 12:14 pm

    I’m a huge fan of yours and I’ll keep it short and sweet: you’re doing more than you know. 😉

    Sending love and light your way (all the way from Madagascar)!

  • Reply
    Heidi Jolene
    December 8, 2014 at 12:39 pm

    Thank you so much for your honesty! It’s so refreshing to read a “real” blog. It’s one of my favorite things about yours, it has been for years. You’re an inspiration to so many! Keep doing what you love…seeing the beauty in everything and everyone around you! And teaching us how to see it in ourselves, you’re kinda good at that!! Merry Christmas from Nashville 🙂

  • Reply
    Rachel @ Blonde with a Chanse
    December 8, 2014 at 12:44 pm

    I often pray for service opportunities, and they come! I also try to keep an eye out for those in my ward who may be in need 🙂 This is something that I feel I am always working on because I sometimes just focus on myself too much, and neglect to serve others in need. 🙂

  • Reply
    Betsy diFrancesca
    December 8, 2014 at 1:03 pm

    Hi Cara, I’m a makeup artist and hair stylist and I learn so much from your videos and before and afters. I was feeling a little down the past few weeks- it’s kind of slow work-wise, my parents are not well plus I’m in L.A. and they’re in NY so I went down to a support center for cancer patients and their families. Some friends of mine work there and they took me on a tour of the place. They introduced me to this 8 yr. old girl who had recently lost her mom to cancer. When she found out I was a makeup artist her eyes lit up . So…today I’m going to the center to do a very natural hair and makeup session with her! I’ve found that being of service is the best way to get out of the bad neighborhood know as “my head” and hope you’re feeling better soon!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 1:26 pm

    There are so many comments here already, which I think is a testament to how amazing you are, and how there are always two sides to everything, including social media.
    I think it’s awesome that you have labelled and found the origin of your insecurity- it’s not easy. Now the fun part, doing fun things and getting back to feeling good! I, for one, love baking, especially at Christmas! I also love eating, so to kind of balance (because I think balance is key), I give away (force on? lol) my baked goodies to friends and family (unwilling victims? lol). I’ll admit, I can go overboard making 4 to 5 batches of different cookies/loaves/bars/bark etc., but I guess it’s my therapy. And I do believe that the love I put into my baking is imparted to those who eat up my baked goods 🙂

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 2:02 pm

    Precious Cara, you are not alone….i think we all feel this way sometimes and as far as i’m concerned… ARE one of THE most Beautiful women i’ve ever known….not just physically but your heart is incredibly beautiful! Your honesty and humility are rare these days!!!! And they are a gift to us all who are blessed to follow you!!!! and you’re so right about healing….i, too, have found that when i get that way it is because i am thinking of myself way toooooo much!!!! so….this Christmas i have been asking around and i’ve found many people in need….a single mom, who just lost her job and has 4 young children who thought that they would not have Christmas this year…homeless people who were just down on their luck who have no one to share the holidays. My husband and i decided that this year we wanted to give them the Best Christmas we could…..and just planning and thinking of these others less fortunate has brought so much incredible joy to our hearts!!! Your heart is HUGE, so i know that you, too, will be a blessing to many as you already have been to me 🙂 HUGE HUGS!!!!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 2:10 pm

    It’s awesome to know I’m not the only one struggling with insecurity during this (supposed to be) jolly time of year.

    As some one who works with older adults, they are often one of the most forgotten populations during the holidays. Many of them do not have family, or if they do they may not have a lot of contact with their family. You can always reach out to a nursing home or an adult day care and ask what the residents need/want. For example, my mom fulfilled an older homebound adult’s Christmas wish list of a new sweatshirt and some cologne, and he LOVED it! Two simple things that he could not get for himself 🙂 And of course if you can, older adults love the gift of your time. There is a lady who comes and gives manicures every Christmas at a nursing home near me and the women there think it is the most special thing all year.

    I’m praying for blessings on you and your family this season, and I know you will bless whoever you choose to give to!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 2:26 pm

    When I’m feeling “unbalanced”, I go back to my gratitude list. There’s an app called “happier” and it’s a gratitude app. You can put anything in there you want… I find it grounds me. For example, I’ve put in things like I’m grateful for the greatest girlfriends who love me unconditionally and are always there for me. You can “follow” others and it can also be anonymous if you want. It puts things in perspective.

    You have a wonderful blog!!! I look forward to your posts and I love that you have all different price points. I follow you on Pinterest too and was just looking up makeup for glasses… You are helping all of us with every single post! Keep it up!

    Happy Holidays!!


  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 2:27 pm

    This was so great to read today. I think we can often find ourselves comparing to things on social media and we see others strongest characteristics and compare them to some of our weaker ones. For me one of the easiest things to do this time of year is just to take notice of common places I go that are taking donations (Salvation Army bells anyone?), or if I am asked to donate to a cause when I am checking out at the grocery store, making donation greater than the dollar they are asking for. If I walk into walmart and see a box to collect toys, it is easy for me to grab something while I am already in there and contribute without feeling overwhelmed with other tasks I need to do. This is one of the ways I feel I can contribute on a more frequent basis and a quick way to be able to help and keep the giving spirit in mind throughout my week.

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 2:28 pm

    Wow! Appreciate your honesty! Don’t get caught up in the vortex of comparing, feeling inadequate…. Your amazing, inspire tons of your followers, are a new mom & such a real person (and beautiful to boot) ! You are blessed! I always look forward to reading your blog! Thank YOU

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 2:53 pm

    Thank you for your amazing blog and especially for this today!!! I appreciate your candor and transparency. You’re a beautiful human being and you help more people than you’ll ever know. THANK YOU!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 4:31 pm

    Cara, check out Jessica Ortner at The Tapping Solution website or on You Tube. Acupressure tapping helps work through all those negative self-doubt thoughts! It’s amazing, free and only takes a few minutes. Fair warning though! I always feel silly while doing it, but nothing silences those feelings of inadequacy better!

  • Reply
    Laura Chopp
    December 8, 2014 at 4:46 pm

    Find out if anyone in your community is organizing a holiday dinner packing event! Basically a charity buys supplies to make a holiday dinner for people in the community who can’t afford to buy one, and they often need volunteers to pack them all into a box. I did an event like a few years back and it was very rewarding, knowing that those families would have a special meal for their holiday.

    I also know how you feel with the social media–a few scrolls through and I feel pretty down on myself. Just remember that social media doesn’t show WHO someone is as a person…it shows who they want people to think they are. You’re much more than a pretty picture…remember that! 🙂

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 4:50 pm

    Care you are fabulous! Thanks for yet another amazing post.

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 6:06 pm

    You are not alone, Cara! I too have been in a bad funk for the last week, but your blog always cheers me up! You have taught me so much about makeup that my friend actually asked me to do her for her wedding! This is such a big deal!! You are so wonderful and genuine, I am always happier after cruising through your work. Hope you feel better soon and that the bad, mean thoughts stay away!

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 6:35 pm

    This is my first time commenting – thank you so much for this post. I’ve been there more often than I’d like to admit, and your suggestions are spot on.
    Since you asked for Christmas-related ideas, a simple thing I am doing this year is trying to get gifts that help (and make more than one person happy at once). I promise I’m not affiliated with these companies at all, but two I’ve found that make for lovely gifts are KrochetKids and Sevenly. I’m sure there are a ton more out there – you can just google “fair trade gifts” for inspiration! 🙂

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 6:40 pm

    Hey Cara: I totally get what you’re saying. I sometimes (often) feel the same way. Sadly, the more I think about it, the worse I feel. Sometimes, I will just unsubscribe from all these blogs, I follow. It feels so good, when I’m feeling insecure to say to these perfect people who must drive their husbands crazy with all the stuff they store. Can you imagine? Some bloggers come across as so braggy. I know they don’t mean to, but it’s always that whole look at me thing. I have a blog too, haven’t posted for a while. But, my thought is: do I come across like that too? I don’t want to.
    I focus on me, and doing the things I enjoy for my home, family or myself. I don’t need to go online for everything.
    I love your blog, and all the makeovers you do. You transform women. One day, I would love for you to do my makeup. That would be so much fun.
    Anyways, I just want you to remember how great you are. Write the blog posts you want to read. I love and adore your honesty.
    Please give yourself some time, enjoy that new baby of yours. You’ll always be on my blog following list.
    Thank you, and Happy Holidays. May you and your family be blessed.
    Oh, and my tip for feeling better. Send someone a nice note.


  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 7:53 pm

    How about inviting someone less fortunate to dinner

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 11:38 pm

    Adopt a kid or two for Christmas through a church or local charity. It’s always so much fun to go buy a couple outfits and some toys for these kids, knowing that you can bring them the Christmas every child deserves! So rewarding!

    Also, you can make these things called blessing bags. There’s a really good how-to here:

  • Reply
    December 8, 2014 at 11:47 pm

    This happened to me tonight! I was trying not to, but totally got caught in a web of comparing myself and it made me so sad. Then I remembered seeing your FB post about this exact topic! And as always, your writing makes me instantly happier. I think I’m due for a social media detox, at least a day long. And definitely, DEFINITELY some service. I’m gonna read all these comments and see what ideas these people have!

  • Reply
    Bree Peterson
    December 9, 2014 at 12:01 am

    First of all you are amazing in every sense! I went through many years of dealing with insecurities and tearing myself down. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t get a grip on myself. One night I had an experience where I came home from an event feeling excluded and got pretty down on myself. I ended up opening up and talking about my experience with my dad. He explained to me that Satan is the one whispering discouraging things in my ear. I had never thought of it that way. I always thought it was something I was doing to myself. Satan can get to people different ways and stall their progression. That is what he was doing with me with my insecurities and i believe that is what he is doing to you. You lift people up. You are a light to the world. You make women feel beautiful and of worth. He wants to stop you and that is why you are feeling so insecure. All I have to say is don’t let him win. We are stronger then him. You are a wonderful person and someone that so many women look up to.

  • Reply
    December 9, 2014 at 2:37 am

    I love this post because it’s so bold of you to step out and say how you feel, and it reminds all of us that even someone who seems as perfect as YOU feels this way too sometimes!
    The most important thing to remember is that EVERY SINGLE women, no matter how put together and flawless she may seem, feels inadequate, imperfect, and insecure every once in awhile. It’s just the truth.
    Try volunteering at a hospital, soup kitchen, or giving to a family in need for the holidays. Taking a step back to see how other people are suffering and helping them makes your worries/insecurities seem so much smaller.
    Finding time for you is also important. Yoga and baking are two things that always help me unwind and relax. Exercising (even when I don’t feel like it) always puts me in a better mood and has me feeling better about myself afterward!
    Identify the cheerleaders in your life (encouraging mother, positive friend, supportive husband, etc.) and talk to them when you’re feeling down about yourself! Surround yourself with love and positivity.
    How blessed are you to have a whole support system at the touch of a keyboard!!

  • Reply
    Annelisa Pessetto
    December 9, 2014 at 7:19 am

    Hello Cara, PLEASE watch this TED talk on Self-Compassion. It is beautiful. I help teach a college level stress management course and I have seen these ideas change many lives, including my own.

    This method is scientifically validated. Good Luck!

  • Reply
    December 9, 2014 at 8:26 am

    This is the first year my family is sponsoring another family and getting xmas presents for them, as they have fallen on some hard times. It makes me feel great, but also kinda not so great as I’m wondering why have I never done this before?!

    I find myself feeling inadequate as well sometimes, I believe its just natural. However, I want you to know how fabulous you are!! I give you SOOO much credit for putting yourself out there for the world to see. You are so sweet, beautiful, giving (I certainly don’t know you, but this shows through on your blog), and for sure the BEST blogger!! I give you credit for having time to blog after having your sweet second son- that shows your good mommy skills!! I have learned a great deal from your site and check it every chance I get. I have told my friends (who care about makeup) about HAC. I even did my friend’s face before we went out for my bachelorette party – after many cocktails of course!!

    Please know that you are fabulous. And PLEASE continue to blog because we love it!! 🙂

  • Reply
    December 9, 2014 at 10:17 am

    Your blog came right on the heels of my own ” I’m just not good enough” breakdown all day Sunday. But you ARE enough…….for all the things you mentioned. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. This 51 year old mom of four still feels the same way sometimes. I think its’ just being female and human! When I finally confided in my husband why I had been in tears all day…..he seemed shocked. “But you’re the anchor of this family!! We all NEED you!!” I’m guessing it’s exactly the same with your family. They love you, God loves you. That is enough! Take care of your precious babies and family this Christmas season. That’s enough for now!!!!!

  • Reply
    December 9, 2014 at 11:09 am

    I think we all know the feeling, Cara…and believe me, most of us are all in the same boat.

    Especially if you’re a blogger. I think with women bloggers there is a self-imposed pressure that we have to look perfect and be the woman all other women want to be. Rarely do you ever hear women admit that life is not what they paint it out to be on their blogs, and the ‘problems’ they do share leave you thinking, “really? I wish I had her problems.”

    So, it’s only natural that we feel this way. I feel this way with the holidays. I feel out of the loop, like my recipes aren’t good enough compared to all the fancy, beautiful creations people are making this time of year. There is so much pressure during the holidays.

    I don’t think there is a ‘cure’ to self-doubt. There are things out there that will put your mind at ease for the moment, but nothing that will rid insecurities all together. It’s a daily struggle. Just remember you have a gorgeous, popular site that you juggle along with raising a beautiful family. You are so accomplished, Cara and an inspiration for all of us. You are beautiful and very talented.

    I hope you and your dear ones have a beautiful Christmas holiday.


  • Reply
    December 9, 2014 at 11:13 am

    I think the insecurity comes with being human. It’s something I have struggled with and everyone I know. But I’ve really delved into this the last two years because I didn’t want to pass on my insecurities to my children. I remember as a little girl seeing my mom not want her picture taken, never being able to accept a compliment, never believing she was a beautiful, great woman. I wondered what my perception of myself might have been if she had led out in being confident. So I’ve been on a journey and something that I was taught and have found to be huge in conquering the insecurity battle is writing down those negative thoughts in a black book that is labeled “lies about me”. I am teaching my brain that those things are not true. My creator would NEVER tell me I was fat, or ugly, or a bad mom. My creator strengthens and encourages me. Even though He knows my weaknesses and shortcomings very well (better than me) He loves me, encourages me, and strengthens me. So I know those comments must be from a source and a purpose intended to tear me down rather than build me up. So I write them down and tell my brain those aren’t true. Then I am sure to write and tell myself all the time the opposite of those. I apologize that this isn’t what you were asking for, I know you were looking for service but I think achieving inner peace and then helping others do the same is a service in and of itself.

  • Reply
    December 9, 2014 at 11:46 am

    I have felt the same way! I went on a social media hiatus about eight or nine months ago. Stopped blogging and stopped participating so much on IG. It helped a lot with my insecurity, but not so good for trying to keep a business going. It’s hard when you put yourself out there because it makes you vulnerable to others…especially those that don’t put themselves out there and yet want to judge what you’re doing. I have always loved your blog, what you do, what you stand for and though I have never met you, I can just tell through social media that you have a beautiful, kind heart and real character! Keep on doing what you’re doing and being you! Plus, you have two littles at home and what they think of you is more important that what anyone else thinks. I’ve enjoyed getting into the Christmas spirit by doing some traditions with my son….getting a tree (a very small tree, but hey), letting him be a part of the decorating, making cookies, playing Christmas songs. We even walked hand in hand the other day to get a snow cone and I thought how backwards that was for Christmas time, but since we live in CA, it might need to be a new tradition. My son loved it and so did I. It truly is the small things that make life special! Enjoy this time beautiful mama! Sending hugs and encouragement!

  • Reply
    December 9, 2014 at 12:56 pm

    I feel like this is so relevant for today’s day and age! Sometimes Instagram and Pinterest are good inspiration and other times it’s just brutal on your self esteem. We compare ourselves so often now it’s easy to feel bad.

    I hope you know that I find you so talented and inspirational. I wanted to go into the field but I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to make it work financially. I can’t wait to try |||D foundation on the next release. That is so ambitious and brave of you to develop your own makeup!!

  • Reply
    Laura Chotkevys
    December 9, 2014 at 1:14 pm

    When I was growing up my mom would always seek a family in need (or going through a hard time) and we would do the 12 days of christmas with them. It was SO much fun! Last year I picked a family friend who had just lost her husband (with three kids). We buy fun toys, games, food, home decor etc. and leave a note on the door every night for the 12 days. It is so rewarding. Last year they left notes for us too telling us that we made their christmas special amidst the pain they were facing. I love passing this tradition on to my two daughters.

  • Reply
    Jeannette Koch
    December 9, 2014 at 3:40 pm

    You know what, Cara? I’ve often wanted to comment on your posts about how inspiring, beautiful and talented you are and how I think it’s amazing what you’ve been doing. I find myself backspacing, because, well… it’s easy to think that you must be well aware! I’m realizing that you need to seize any moment you can to lift someone up, because even the supermodels (yeah, you do look like one) have their moments of doubt. So, here’s my comment. You’re contributing so much. And it’s awesome. Thank you.

  • Reply
    Just a girl
    December 9, 2014 at 3:50 pm

    Get off social media! I know that’ s impossible when you’re a professional blogger, but I only have a facebook left and will soon be ridding myself of it. I think social media does more harm than good, and we don’t really live life when we’re on social media all the time! I believe it’s a thief of life and deprives us from finding joy in our moments, and living in real experiences!

  • Reply
    December 9, 2014 at 4:04 pm

    Cara, what a difficult and honest post … as you can see, nearly everyone with any kind of self awareness struggles with insecurity at some point. Work hard, do your best, be a good person – that is all we can do in life! It is easy to look at others lives through the looking glass and social media – they construct an image that they want to share – in real life I promise they have the same struggles as the rest of us! When I struggle with this – I remind my self “Comparison is the thief of Joy”. Your plan to make your self feel better is a strong plan of action … one foot in front of the other and you’ll get there. You have so much support!

  • Reply
    December 9, 2014 at 4:58 pm

    Cara, I loved this post! I think we can all take a look at ourselves and think of where all of the insecurity comes from. I find you so refreshing and real! You’re so positive about others and their beauty inside and out. That’s what makes an amazing Mom, blogger…whatever in life. Keep up the amazing work and inspiring all of us!

  • Reply
    December 9, 2014 at 6:20 pm

    I think that sometimes taking a step away from social media can be a fresh breathe. I also thrive on doing for others because that is what makes me feel inspired. For instance, the salvation army here does toys for tots and set up a store for parents to shop. I love doing this because I get to reminisce about the toys and then see the parents faces when they get to choose gifts for their children when without toys for tots they would not be able to provide a christmas foe them. So do something good for others and it will make you feel good about you.

  • Reply
    December 9, 2014 at 7:41 pm

    Great post that I think we can all identify with. You have such a great talent and if you are looking for ways to serve it would be amazing to share that with the world. There are so many women who have had a tough time and could use a moment of pampering and someone to help them shine. May I suggest partnering with a charity who offers respite care as they may be able to put you in touch with carers who would welcome such a moment. Happy Holidays!

  • Reply
    December 10, 2014 at 7:34 am

    Always remember regarding social media. PEOPLE ONLY ALLOW YOU TO SEE WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO SEE. One of the reasons I love YOU? You show us your all. Not just the pretty side. 🙂 Real trumps so called “perfect” every single time. Your recreations of celebrity looks are GENIUS. And I have spend many a morning with my ipad, your vids (the Kim K, Rosie, and Kristin Stewart, Angelina are particular faves) recreating those looks. Your makeup rocks, and I cannot wait for your new line. Also, you list items most of us can spring for, you love Target and so do WE! And obvs, Allure thought you were pretty talented too. Rock on hot mama. Keep on, keepin on. We adore you. OH! And I volunteer at Christmas Box House with the foster kids. Kids take you out of yourself (as I am all too certain you know!). Much loves and supports!

    PS. The avatar I use? NOT ME! See? You could “perceive” me, as having perfect abs,when in reality I most certainly do NOT. 🙂

  • Reply
    December 10, 2014 at 2:34 pm

    It’s called the Upper Limit Problem. The best book I’ve ever read (scriptures aside) is called The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. I love love love this book, it will change your life if you let it, and you won’t have to deal with these issues anymore, or at least know what to do when they start surfacing. He’s helped people like Michael Dell from Dell computers, and other extremely successful people with these same problems. We all have them. It happens when we are experiencing success we aren’t comfortable with (most of the time it is a subconscious thing) those little voices come in and help bring us down to where we feel more comfortable, in short, self sabotaging. Give it a read. You won’t regret it!

    PS. You are amazing, and I LOVE your blog.

  • Reply
    December 10, 2014 at 2:44 pm

    It’s pretty crazy how people can feel inadequate over little things like a picture on instagram or reading a blog post. But I feel that way all the time as well! I guess I never thought of someone like you who’s pretty, and has a great life would feel that way. But I guess anyone can.

    I do like what someone else commented that how people only show what they want you to see. And that’s really true. It’s easy to forget that of course, especially if we’re feeling sad or something, but maybe that’s what people love instagram and reading blogs. It can lift us up and inspire us. Of course there are downsides like comparing ourselves to others, but I think having bloggers like you who are open about their feelings out in the wide internet world, can help so many of us who feel the same way.

    So thank you for being brave in sharing how you feel with us 🙂

  • Reply
    December 10, 2014 at 5:10 pm

    Kisses and hugs to you for posting something that so many women struggle with silently and alone!

  • Reply
    Janelle Rieger
    December 10, 2014 at 8:15 pm

    Use your photography skills! Call your local nursing home and ask if any residents would like to have a portrait done. Give the residents a few copies in frames to give to family as gifts. One year we did this and gave a few residents photo Christmas cards of themselves. My church group came in and addressed and stamped them for the residents to send out. We got thank you letters from all over the country from people who did not have a nice, recent photo of their loved one.
    Or ask your local high school if any seniors cannot afford senior portriaits and take a few shots for them. At least they have something to put in the yearbook that looks like everyone else (not a generic snapshot)

  • Reply
    December 11, 2014 at 9:00 am

    I like Janelle’s idea! ^^^^ I am a self-employed hairstylist and I struggle with this from time to time also. And no, social media dos NOT help! For example, this Christmas not one single client has given me a gift or a holiday tip…so instead of thinking “ok, times are tough, money is tight for a lot of people” I immediately jump to “What’s wrong with me?! They got me gifts last year?!” I am jealous of the other stylists in the salon who get their stupid Starbucks gift cards. I know it’s stupid, but it’s how I feel.

  • Reply
    linnet joy
    December 11, 2014 at 4:43 pm

    one of my favorite acts of kindness is buying a single really beautiful rose at the grocery store. Then I choose a check out lady carefully. After buying it, she is gifted the flower. It is so much fun, especially on Valentine’s Day.

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    December 11, 2014 at 5:00 pm

    After reading the heading of your post I honestly had to take a second look. How is this ? I honestly read and look at all your postings. I’ve learnt so much from you when it comes to makeup. I also love reading your posts bc you genuinely seem like a really nice lady. I bought your makeup as soon as you released it last December, reorder and am all out now, so patiently waiting for you to rerelease it. I love it and honestly can’t find a product like it. I’m an RN by profession and also recently had a baby. Sounds to me like you might be struggling with a little postpartum depression girl. 10% of Moms get it, and lots don’t even know they have it, usually a love one will be able to identify it for them. Sometimes a short cycle of antidepressants can really be a game changer for your mind 🙂
    I’m sure with blogging you don’t see how many women you inspire and teach in so many ways. Which is unfortunate. But I have no doubt that’s it’s more than you know xo. Every friend and family member I’ve told about you, also agrees you’re awesome!
    So chin up girl, you have so much to be proud of

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    Carol Higdon
    December 11, 2014 at 6:44 pm

    Cara, you do so much good with your posts! When I was young I was never around woman that wore very much makeup and my Mother only used lipstick. You have taught me a lot about applying makeup. I’m much better than I used to be, thanks to you.
    At Christmas time we pick a family to help with gifts for their children. A lot of the schools will know families that are having a hard time making ends meet.

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    December 12, 2014 at 12:55 pm

    You are so incredibly beautiful and funny and talented. Everytime I check out your blog I am amazed by your physical beauty and then I read what you have to say and see that you are equally beautiful on the inside. God made you so unique and special and he loves you and adores you girl!

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    December 12, 2014 at 7:06 pm

    I love (and hate!) that moment when you hit publish on words that feel so naked and raw. And then with one eye open you read the comments- half expecting them to be “you are a stupid head”. And then EVERYONE says OHMYGOSH- me too!!!! Me too!!! Isn’t it just The greatest that we can all relate and stand by each other? That’s such a great gift to give to others Cara! So- ME TOO:-) I frequently lie to myself. So does social media. I’m the worst at ALL the things in the world. Like you said- it helps when you recognize that you are doing it. It also helps when you recognize it- to not then beat yourself up a second time for “focusing on the wrong things and being so introspective and selfish.” Also- I try to think of myself as a gift that God created- and it’s SO RUDE to constantly be telling someone how imperfect their gift is! If you are in a charitable mood I know someone in need. ME. This is a long shot- but I’m just going to ask. I’m a momma with two amazing little boys. They are my world and teach me so much about perspective. They teach me that failure is not trying. They teach me perfect is over rated and that no one is “normal”. They have autism. I write a blog about capital L life. I think you would love it. Stop by- read a post or two. If you connect in any way- I’d love for you to share my words. I write so the world understands more about autism- and I write to help other people accept their differences too- that makes everyone happier. I do not advertise- I make no money from writing. I simply want to change the world. An ocean of blessings to you sweet momma. Chrissy

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    December 12, 2014 at 10:37 pm

    I have been feeling like this too. It seems as though my feelings of inadequacy have increased ever since the birth of Pinterest and Instagram. I recently took a month long social media vacation. It helped, but as soon as I reinstalled the apps on my phone the insecurities came back. I have vented to my mom about how I feel like I’m not skinny enough, makeup skills aren’t up to par, I don’t have the perfect “blanket scarf”, and my apartment doesn’t have a gallery wall or a bookshelf expertly decorated with homegoods crap. She recently sent me this video that addresses all of those feelings and offers up some suggestions on how to combat the issues. You should totally watch it!

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    Lisa Woodward
    December 13, 2014 at 8:37 pm

    So appropriate that I’m reading this. I went to the pinners conference last month and went to your class and then was feeling super inadequate after (because I was comparing myself to you). Naturally I wanted to check out your blog and right now, waiting for my husband while sitting in the car was my first chance and you had written this post. So opportune! Thanks! We started a tradition of getting Christmas treats and gifts for a family we know is going through a hard time and door bell ditch it with some cashl

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    December 14, 2014 at 10:03 am

    I have always struggled with insecurity. I live a very blessed life and I have been so fortunate to have lived so many of my dreams already. Insecurity and body image definitely hit me hard. Having a background in ballet and modeling I unfortunately fall into the “I’m not good enough” trap because I am so conditioned to always be better and work harder. You are so correct with your tips! It’s amazing how simply stepping back and identifying the problem can change everything. You are so beautiful and inspiring. I use your hair and makeup tutorials frequently because I’m so clueless. Keep your head up!

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    December 17, 2014 at 2:23 pm

    Thanks for this post Cara. Parts 1, 2, and 3 are so true, especially this time of year! Well-timed.

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    Ellie Rockhill (@ellie_lives)
    December 27, 2014 at 12:10 pm

    Loved your vulnerability here, sweet Cara. Thanks for sharing.. I feel this often, too. Isn’t it funny how as soon as you label the thing and reveal it to the world, the nastyness of it loses its power? Stay strong… and I’d love to read a follow-up of what charity or service you ended up doing!

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