My Life

Nick & Cara. A love story.

Today is our 2 year anniversary (yay!!) so I thought it would be fitting to reshare this post. I still can’t believe how lucky I am.

Nick and I met about 7 years ago.  Typical boy meets girl, they fall in love and then…he dumped me.

I guess I’m getting a little ahead of myself.
It all started with this photo:


I was living in San Francisco but visiting my hometown (St. George UT) for my little sister’s wedding when I went to lunch with a good friend. On our way out of her office we stopped to talk to her coworker, Bevan. He said he had a son named Nick, who was playing golf at BYU (about 3 hours away) and swore that if he sent a photo of me he’d be here in a hot minute to take me on a date. So I awkwardly posed for a photo and didn’t really think much of it afterward. Apparently, Nick didn’t either because he ever showed up.

Although, a few weeks later I received this email:

I know emails from complete strangers are a little creepy, but I wanted to make sure it was ok that I was given your email address.  Im sorry if my Dad weirded you out a little…. I can’t believe he made you pose for a pic….. gotta love parents.  So I have your email and now you have mine.  I just wanted send a quick message to say hello and…… to see if you really exist…  So email me back sometime, I think it would be cool to talk some, either internet or phone or whatever.  I look forward to hearing from you.
Nick Killpck

From then on were pretty much inseparable (by phone of course) if we weren’t talking we were texting. A million questions, conversations and stories.


{another photo by Nick’s dad, who joined us on our first date!}

I loved how easy he was to talk to. I loved that he seemed genuine. I loved his understated charm.

We met in person a few weeks later when he was on a Golf trip to San Fran and things only got better. I was planning to move to Salk Lake City when I was done with my nanny job, which was ending right about that time, it worked out perfect. We had so much in common and got along swimmingly. We became boyfriend & girlfriend officially and dated for a few months. Everything was going great…or so I thought. He pretty much blindsided me one day when he said, “I think we need to break up.”

I was devastated.

I went over every moment in our relationship 1000 times, where had it gone wrong? Why hadn’t I seen this coming? What could I do to change his mind!?

Generally I am pretty good at coping. If I don’t get something I want I can convince myself pretty easily that it really wasn’t so great in the first place.
Nick was a huge exception to this. He was such a great person. I just couldn’t figure out a way to believe that my life could be better without him in it.

I always tell people who are trying to get over a breakup to “fake it ’till you make it.” The only way I could get over him was to pretend I already was.  Eventually I lost hope that he would magically change his mind and was finally able to move on.

About a year later I started dating another guy and we ended up getting married. A couple of years after that Christian was born.  Sadly, it was an incredibly unhealthy relationship and I knew as soon as I had Christian I did not want him to live like that. As hard as it was I knew what I needed to do. When he was just a couple months old, I became a single mother.


{photo by Blaire Florang}

For a long time I pretty much hid out at my parents house. They were wonderful and so helpful with Christian and for the first time in a long time, I felt happy and safe. I was pretty sure I’d never date again. I never wanted to be with someone who didn’t love that little boy like I did and I didn’t know if finding someone who did was even possible. On top of that it felt like dating was such a drastic conflict of interest with being the mother of a baby. I was breast feeding for heavens sake!

Thank goodness for my blog followers. I put all of my extra energy and thoughts into blogging and even though I never talked about what I was going through, every comment and every new friend made me feel like I had a purpose (outside of 24/7 colic patrol) and made me feel like a normal person. I really don’t know what Id have done without you guys.

Meanwhile guess who ran across my blog? Nick.
He was single, living in St. George and in addition to playing golf professionally, he was starting to get into a multilevel marketing healthy chocolate company. He thought I might be interested in the chocolate and maybe blog about it so he gave me a call and see if I was interested. I wasn’t and didn’t but we talked and caught up for a while. When he found out I was divorced he got so awkward. I assume he was thinking about all those years he regretted dumping me and knew I was the best girlfriend ever and he’d never find another girl quite like me. I’m sure that’s what it was:)

It took a few months but we started dating again. (I had to give him the cold shoulder for a while, ya know?:)

I found out he was still the same guy that I loved and looked up to. Only better. It didn’t take long for us to become best friends again.
I knew he loved Christian like I did one night when he put him to bed. He had been pretty fussy and Nick had been with us all day and yet within a few minutes of him being asleep he pulled out his phone to pour over photos of him. He was in deep:)

About a year later he took me back to San Francisco and asked me to marry him.

There were so many times along the way that I thought my life was damaged beyond repair. SO many days that I felt hopeless about my future.

I knew that my life was not a fairytale and I was not a princess…

but on a sunny day in September in a big white castle, Nick convinced me otherwise.


IMG_9383 IMG_9424bw IMG_9482  IMG_9514bw

My friend Cassy took these photos, she is incredibly talented. She also had the BEST blog. It’s definitely one of my favorites. She talks about motherhood, fashion, photography and just whatever. You’ll love her instantly. Enjoy! CLICK HERE to check her out
PS these photos make me miss my dark hair. Just a little.

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  • Reply
    September 22, 2014 at 8:53 pm

    I enjoyed reading this so very much!!! I wish you guys all the best. There are truly happy stories. What a blessing!

  • Reply
    September 22, 2014 at 9:18 pm

    You and Nick were meant to be separated for that time period so you could have your Christian!

  • Reply
    Gail Perry
    September 22, 2014 at 9:46 pm

    That’s a beautiful love story. When I was 17 I married the love of my life and a year later had his little girl. But when she was 3 months old he killed himself. I was 18 & he was 24. I remarried & remarried always trying to find the man who would love her like her own father would have. It never happened. So whenever a young woman asks for my advice about leaving her husband, I always tell them they will never find a man who will love their child like the natural father. After reading your love story, I may never say that again. God bless your family! P.S. That little girl gave me two beautiful grandchildren and this year a great-granddaughter!

    • Reply
      September 23, 2014 at 12:56 am

      Wow, Gail, I wish I could reach out and hug you! I am so sorry to hear your story but I’m so glad that you have the lasting gift of your precious daughter. Nothing will ever take away the pain but each new addition to your family must fill your heart with more and more happiness and love. God bless you and yours.

  • Reply
    September 22, 2014 at 11:40 pm

    Love this! So happy for you.

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 12:03 am

    Your family is adorable. I can see you deserve to be happy and I’m glad to see that you are. Thank for not leaving us alone after giving birth!

  • Reply
    Lisa Santos
    September 23, 2014 at 12:28 am

    Such a great love story. And he really is a great guy for accepting your beautiful baby boy Christian. So happy for you 🙂 Glad I found your blog. Such a positive place to spend the morning reading!! xx Lisa

  • Reply
    Misty F.
    September 23, 2014 at 1:01 am

    Thank you Cara for sharing this with us. I’m so happy for you ! God Bless your beautiful family and especially your newest addition ! xoxo

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 2:02 am

    Happy Anniversary! What a precious story. It seems that a little heartache is built in to all great love stories, doesn’t it? I’m so happy that you had your happy ending-and God bless your little family

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 2:31 am

    What a beautiful story! You put a big smile on my face!

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 2:39 am

    Okay now I am crying. What a beautiful love story. Thanks for sharing!!

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 2:43 am

    Thanks for sharing this post. My life is a total disaster right now, and I needed to hear that I’m not alone!
    Happy anniversary!

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 3:19 am

    I teared up when you talked about the moment you knew he loved Christian as much as you did, because my husband and I do the same thing–look through our phones at pictures of our son from that day–when he goes to sleep! Only a true parent (biological or not) misses their child even when they are sleeping! 😉 Clearing everything worked out exactly as God intended for you and your family! And congratulations on the new precious baby 🙂

    • Reply
      September 23, 2014 at 3:21 am

      Clearly* 🙂

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 3:26 am

    Your spirit and your family’s spirit shines through, even all the way to Washington State. I love your love story. I love LOVE! Thank you for all you do, share and inspire.

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 3:27 am

    Happy Anniversary! Not everyone has a typical love story, or life story, and that’s what makes us all so unique and full of character. And you, are such a beautiful unique person inside and out. Congratulations on your new bundle. 🙂

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 4:00 am

    This is such a beautiful story, I am glad you found your happily ever after!

    xx Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 4:01 am

    Love this!! Did he say why he broke up with you?!

  • Reply
    lindsay c.
    September 23, 2014 at 4:05 am

    still my favorite post! i loved reading it again:) happy anniversary!

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 4:11 am

    I love this post as much as the first time I read it. You are a wonderful storyteller! Most of all I love that your life is wonderfully messy just like the rest of us. You are blessed. I hope your anniversary celebration is especially great as you await baby #2!

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 4:32 am

    I just love this story….I remember when you shared those letters on addiction earlier and I read your love story for the first time…it’s so amazing…how life throws us these curve balls…but it brings me to tears how no matter what, you two were destined to be together. I remember when I first came to your site…it was wayyy back when you had a black background and you had posted the video on how to get beachy hair like a VS model! I have loved and admired your site since then. Happy Anniversary Cara!


  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 4:47 am

    So precious. I almost cried. I must have missed this the first time! I’m so glad you and Nick found your way back to each other. 🙂

  • Reply
    Heather Hammel
    September 23, 2014 at 4:49 am

    I typically avoid reading things about love but for some reason I decided to read yours and this melted my heart. Sooo cute and so happy for you! Happy Anniversary!

  • Reply
    Ellen Mallernee Barnes
    September 23, 2014 at 4:50 am

    What a beautiful, hopeful story! Thank you so much for sharing, and I am SO HAPPY for you. You deserve it. You have a beautiful spirit.

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 4:58 am

    I really like that you share this with us! Every story has a happy ending, and if not, then it hasn’t ended

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 5:01 am

    I love this story just as much now as the first time you posted it. Everything happens for a reason! Plus I adore that picture of baby Christian in the overalls!!!

  • Reply
    Kenzie Spafford
    September 23, 2014 at 5:39 am

    I loved reading this! I truly believe that if people are meant to be together they will find a way back to each other!

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 5:54 am

    Beautiful story Cara!

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 6:08 am

    what a great story! thanks for sharing it.

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 6:12 am

    Nick’s a lucky guy. Period. 🙂

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 6:13 am

    Happy Anniversary! Thanks for resharing this story. 🙂

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 6:32 am

    What an interesting story. Thanks for sharing. I’m dying to know! why did Nick feel you needed to break up in the first place? What was his reason? Don’t leave us hanging!!! 🙂

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 7:06 am

    So sweet! I’ve read your story before and loved it even more the second time around!

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 7:10 am

    I think this is now the second or third time reading this story, and I love it just as much as the first time I read it! So happy for you! You have a beautiful family! Happy anniversary!

  • Reply
    Jessica Walter
    September 23, 2014 at 7:48 am

    Happy Anniversary! It was a rough beginning but I think Heavenly Father knew you needed that little boy first before your true love came along!

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 8:08 am

    Thank you for sharing your story, it’s sweet. Congratulations on your anniversary.

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 8:16 am

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. Wishing you a lifetime of love and happiness!

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 8:39 am

    You’re leaving out the most important part–why did Nick break up with you in the first place? I HAVE TO KNOW. Well, ok. I don’t have to know, but I’ve heard this story a few times and that’s the part I always wonder about. I certainly hope he explained himself to you (and had a very good reason)!

    • Reply
      September 23, 2014 at 11:06 am

      I didn’t want to sound nosy, but I wondered the same thing. I, too, have read your story several times. Did he just get “cold feet”?

      • Reply
        September 24, 2014 at 3:06 am

        I want to know too!!!!

    • Reply
      September 24, 2014 at 3:58 am

      Ditto!!! It kind of frustrates me lol

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 8:43 am

    Congratulations!!! i wish you guys all the best!! thank you for sharing your story, i love when you let us know more about you!

  • Reply
    Sarah McK
    September 23, 2014 at 9:36 am

    This is going to sound totally stalkerish, but I’ve been reading your blog for the last few years and have noticed that (I think) we have the same birthdate and amniversary. Never said anything because it’s obviously just a funny coincidence but now I think your newest addition was born on my husband’s birthday! Weird(and creeperish), I know! Anyway, cute story and I’m glad you guys made it back together! Hope you had a great anniversary!

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 10:22 am

    You are so likeable. My mom was also a single mother with a baby (me) and didn’t think anyone could ever love me as much as a bio father. The thought was hard for her to swallow. Then, she met my “Dad” when I was 18 months and I’ve been loved as much as his other (future) bio children ever since. There is something so tender/ Christlike about it when that happens. I’m so glad that happened to you and Christian. The world can be a beautiful place.

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 10:45 am

    I’m with the other commenters who want to know why he dumped you in the first place!!!!

  • Reply
    Ashley H
    September 23, 2014 at 11:43 am

    I love your love story. Happy Anniversary!

  • Reply
    Ashley H
    September 23, 2014 at 11:44 am

    Oh, and also… baby Christian in overalls is pretty much the cutest thing ever!!

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 3:21 pm

    I know you’ll probably never see this cause you have so many people comment, but I want you to know how much hope this story has given me. My boyfriend of 2 years and broke up in April and he had a girlfriend the week later. We did long distance too and he is the only guy I’ve ever loved. I have been so broken and had lost so much hope. I know I was meant to read this post. Thank you so much for sharing!

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 5:59 pm

    My friend sent me your link and said that ” this girls life is like yours… Read it.” After reading this post of yours, I can’t believe how similar our situations were/are. I too had a best friend/ love interest I met in college, but after a year of “what are we” we went our separate ways. I quickly started dating and ended up marrying another man about a year later and quickly found that he was manipulate and abusive. After 5 years of marriage and the birth of our daughter he one day walked out. My little Sienna was only 5 months old. My parents moved in temporarily to my home and I felt so at peace to escape that toxic relationship. After a divorce and therapy my therapist suggested purging my home and starting fresh. While doing a major spring cleaning and redecorating my house I came across a bunch of old phone numbers, one being this guy Rob From my college days. After 8 years I doubted it would still be his number but I text it anyway and low and behold it was still his number. We text, face timed and chatted from that day on and a year later we started dating and we just got married in August. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d be here today. I pictured being a single mom forever, never even wanting to explore dating again, to re-meeting the man of my dreams and becoming a family.

  • Reply
    Marianne Franks
    September 23, 2014 at 7:16 pm

    I loved reading this story. BUT I’m dying to know why he left in the first place??

  • Reply
    September 24, 2014 at 2:25 am

    Well you know you have true love because they say true love always finds it’s way back to you if it’s meant to be so at least you truly know your meant to be forever soul mates.. However, you must have had the conversation at some point finding your way back together why did he break up with you? I feel like maybe he was scared of his true feeling and didn’t feel like maybe he was ready and it scared him.. But we all would love to know Cara. Thank you, for sharing this beautiful love story it gives people hope that their true love is out there. My 26th anniversary is today I am still madly in love with my high school sweetheart we have been married for 26 yrs and together a total of 30 yrs of course a couple of break ups in high school but we also always found our way back to each other and we also have 3 amazing sons that have grown to be very fine young men..

  • Reply
    Jessica Peterson
    September 24, 2014 at 3:34 am

    This makes me weepy! We all have thse types of struggles in our relationships (relationships that may look perfect from the outside), so I absolutely love when people come forward to share their story. You have a beautiful family, Cara. Congratulations on your anniversary!

  • Reply
    September 24, 2014 at 3:53 am

    What a lovely story 🙂 You seem genuinely happy! xx

    Out of sheer girl-curiosity: did he ever tell you why he just randomly broke up with you?! DAFUQ?!

    You’re a babe, a smart entrepreneur and a fantastic person. I’m so glad I came across your blog a few years back 🙂


  • Reply
    September 24, 2014 at 7:49 am

    I never really write comments…and I just started reading blogs, but from your blog I got that you are perfect and knew everything about the latest and greatest. Well….I still think you are but now for a much deeper reason. I love that you can share your story and allow us to see that even imperfrct situations can still be something to talk about and celebrate. I, as well as so many have gone through a relationship struggle that was hard to tell for fear of judgement but today you showed me that celebrating your life rather then your story is more important. Thank you:)

  • Reply
    Whitney Benson
    September 24, 2014 at 10:30 am

    This is so weird, with your birth announcement, I literally looked this story up on saturday! Definitely glad you shared it again. Those pictures are some of the most beautiful family photos i’ve seen, you can really feel the love you have for one another 🙂

  • Reply
    September 24, 2014 at 10:32 am

    Cara! You made me cry…..this is so beautiful. It just amazes me to hear your story and we all have one to tell. We are very much alike in the sense that we don’t show ur feelings even when things are falling apart. I know I have always tried to be strong and positive. Thank you for sharing.

  • Reply
    Taelor Hoffman
    September 24, 2014 at 6:47 pm

    I know you have alot of comments on here. But i thought id add mine. I am twenty years old and am a single mom. No i havent found my true love yet but i read this and started crying. I went through a rough relationship and in the back of my mind wonder if there will be someone who would want to be with a single mom. But this shows me hope!! I love your blog and read it frequently:) thank you so much for your amazing example! Keep in blogging pretty lady

  • Reply
    September 25, 2014 at 4:01 am

    What a lovely story 🙂 . Thanks so much for sharing!

  • Reply
    September 26, 2014 at 6:44 pm

    K what? I LOVE this story and I love your blog and that you share more than just amazing makeup! You’re the cutest. xo

  • Reply
    September 27, 2014 at 3:41 pm

    I’ve been following you on instagram for forever and decided to finally do some blog stalking. So glad I did and came across this sweet love story! You have such a beautiful family 🙂

  • Reply
    September 28, 2014 at 7:01 am

    Thank you for sharing this beautiful story with us Cara!! I guess you know when you meet the right one..?

  • Reply
    September 28, 2014 at 11:10 am

    First, Happy anniversary. Secondly, I love your story. It gives me hope. I was with my sons father for 4 years. Decided to have a baby, and when our son was only a month and a half he decided he “didn’t want to try anymore”. I moved back home, started working, and going back to school. My son is 18 months old today, and the thought of dating terrifies me. Like you, I could never imagine someone loving my child the same way I love him, or the way his dad loves him (his dad is still in his life). But your story tells me to never give up. Thank you for that. Enjoy your precious little family.

  • Reply
    as h
    September 29, 2014 at 7:39 am

    Did Nick ever tell you why he randomly broke up with you? You give a bunch of details but left that it in two stories! :p

  • Reply
    September 29, 2014 at 3:02 pm

    Yes I’m curious too why Nick broke up with you in the first place. You clearly were the woman of his dreams all along!

  • Reply
    blog author
    March 11, 2015 at 12:48 pm

    Wow! This was such a good read. It gives me hope. I had no idea you were a single mom. You’re a lucky girl to find someone that loves your son as much as you.

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