Christian has something he wants to announce:
(Amendment: He isn’t actually 5, he’s just a wishful 3 year old. He measures his height by his own metrics, Grinches. He’s sure it’s a girl but we have no evidence of that yet & we probably aren’t going to name her/him Golem, much to his eternal dismay. Also, he’s never even seen Lord of the Rings so…no idea where he got that:)
We are so extremely thrilled!
And get this, the baby has the exact same due date as Christian did!
So pretty much an eternity from now! (I’m only 9 weeks along)
The reason I decided to tell you so early is because:
A. I’m terrible at keeping secrets
B. My low level of functioning probably needs to be addressed:)
Which brings up my next point:
We need to talk about something that is highly misrepresented by movies, commercials and even by it’s very own name.
Which should actually be called “The Stomach Flu’s Evil Stepsister.” Because it’s somewhat similar to a bout of food poisoning except it lasts for 3 months (sometimes more!) and it comes with fun little extras like the fact that you have to continue eating between puke sessions and your powers of smell are so wildly heightened that you could actually smell crime. And ALL smells are bad. Some worse than others. Like the taquitos my husband enjoys every afternoon for instance.
I feel like there are two people that live inside me. One of them handles my emotional pain and discomfort (we’ll call her Em) . She is a go getter I tell ya. She laughs in the face of challenge. Puts on her big girl panties and takes care of business. She has the coping and denial skills necessary for anything you throw her way!
….But also inside me is Priss, who is in charge of physical pain and discomfort. Oh man. What a wimp! Just tell her about a paper cut and she’ll curl up in the fetal position and whimper. When a situation like mine occurs a war rages within my brain. Em is barking orders at Priss like “Get up! Get out of bed! EVERYONE HAS BABIES! You are not getting a blessed bundle of joy! Be grateful for heavens sake! And get working.”
Sometimes Em gets Priss hopped up enough to get in the shower. “OK, I can do this, I’ll shower then do some fancy makeup, play kitties with Christian & maybe even film a video!?” Which is all just talk because half way through rinsing her Wen (which in her defense, is kind of a big job) she limps back to the bed for a short break…that lasts the rest of the day.
In fact I was so pathetic one day that my sister Celeste offered to draw up some sketches for me. To, ya know, get my pain out on paper. So I thought I would share her beautiful talents:)
This one depicts the dangerous balance between too much food and not enough, or the wrong food.
In a piece titled “Bun in the Oven”
This one is to display my incredible naivety. Upon finding out I was pregnant I was absolutely sure I could change my sickness fate…which was a noble goal and a total failure:)
I hope this made you laugh a little, but ultimately I know that this sick business is really nothing in the grand scale of things.
Carrying a baby is a gigantic blessing and I’m incredibly grateful for it.
We are so excited to add another member to our family, this baby has a lot of love waiting for her/him when she comes out:)