My Life Tips & Tricks

Tip Tuesday – Meeting silly insecurities head on.

Back in my glory days – also known as middle school – a terrible thing happened.

I heard through the horrible 3-way calling grapevine that one of my friends mom’s said  I had a “horse-face.”
The earth shattering news hurt. It hurt bad. I found myself studying myself in the mirror asking “IS IT TRUE?”
It was. It had to be.

After that I was so embarrassed. I tried my best to hide it. It was often on the back of my mind. When I laughed or smiled big I would self consciously cover my mouth, maybe then no one else would notice.
I never told anyone because, in the rare event that they weren’t already aware of my equine features I wasn’t gonna be the one to bring it up.
For years I held on to this insecurity. People could say anything about me, but not that, please not that. It was my insult Achilles heel.

And then, one day I just got sick of caring about something so silly. I waved the white flag and said to The World
“OK. SO MAYBE I HAVE A HORSE FACE BUT SO WHAT!? HORSES ARE MAJESTIC ANIMALS! I LOVE THEM! I AM HONORED TO SHARE SUCH A RESEMBLANCE!” and then I laughed really hard and I didn’t cover my mouth even a little. And even though this exchange with The World actually only happened in my head, it felt good.
It felt fantastic.

horseface

Since  I’m no longer in seventh grade it took a long time for me to hear it again. It took posting videos on a very unfiltered place called YouTube but when I read “horseface” I was really happy that I’d put that insecurity to rest because it didn’t bother me a bit.
I just smiled and took the compliment gracefully.

signature

You Might Also Like

202 Comments

  • Reply
    amyolivier
    January 28, 2014 at 4:40 am

    Cara, you are beautiful and most certainly DO NOT have a horse face. That said, I completely understand how easy it is to internalize negative comments (while somehow breezing over all the compliments). Keep being awesome!

  • Reply
    Annika from Sweden
    January 28, 2014 at 4:47 am

    What kind of person would say that about someone else? And especially to a child about their friend?! Wtf, this pisses me off!!

    • Reply
      Lyndsay
      January 28, 2014 at 5:46 am

      I thought the same thing. Pissed off!

  • Reply
    Tish
    January 28, 2014 at 4:48 am

    Haters gonna hate. Let them live in their negativity! What a stunner you are on the outside AND inside! Love your soul and spirit. Keep calm and Maskcara on!

  • Reply
    Crystal
    January 28, 2014 at 4:52 am

    That’s crazy bc you do not! And I felt compelled enough to comment and let you know. Cause if you did I would of remained silent! Thanks for all you do. You help women’s self confidence everywhere!

  • Reply
    Becki Alfrey
    January 28, 2014 at 4:55 am

    Darlin’, you have one of the prettiest faces I’ve seen! I’ve read your blog and we all KNOW that it’s what’s on the inside that counts and you have that in spades! When you add what’s on the outside, you’re shining so bright! Thank God we don’t live in middle school any more! I love your blog and wake up every day excited to see what you’ve shared! Don’t ever stop being YOU!

  • Reply
    cathyjanec
    January 28, 2014 at 4:56 am

    Omg you are so funny! “Equine features” had me laughing. You definitely dont look like a horse! Youre gorgeous, successful, independent and strong. I was called Dumbo in grade school because my ears stuck out somewhat and Id get my mom to put my hair in a ponytail and always ask for it tighter which only accentuated the ears lol!

  • Reply
    Cara d
    January 28, 2014 at 4:57 am

    It is very sad that any mother would ever say that about a child. I bet you are so much more beautiful than her it is ridiculous. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I was called an ape because of my hairy arms in junior high. It took me a long time to get over that insecurity too. I was thinking the same thing about horses. They are beautiful so take it as a compliment!

  • Reply
    PamJ
    January 28, 2014 at 4:58 am

    Thanks for reminding me that other people’s insults do not have to make me run for cover. Although it can be painful, we can all grow stronger than those petty insults, and chose not to let them rule our lives!

  • Reply
    mflesser
    January 28, 2014 at 4:59 am

    Oh Cara, It breaks my heart to read this. The power of words that hurt, at any age, but especially to a Middle School-aged girl, are incredible. When I was about the same age, I overheard one of my mother’s “friends” tell her that I resembled our family dog, a Bedlington Terrier with a long snout. In an instant, I became self-conscious of my nose, my thin face. I began to hide behind my hair hoping that no one else would see the resemblance between me and my dog. Thinking back on it, it all seems so silly, but my pain and insecurity were palpable. When I finally told my mother that the words her friend had uttered hurt me, she told me that woman was not her friend at all and was a horrible person with a mean streak. My mother’s explanation went a long way towards ending my insecurity. Your story resonates, however, and, as a mother of two beautiful and brilliant girls, I have always been conscious of words that were carelessly uttered in their presence. And, I taught them to understand the power of the words they use too.

    As a writer and blogger, I have put myself “out there” too and I’ve found that, while most people are supportive, there are those who can be cruel. I don’t understand the mentality of being mean behind the protection of a computer screen – or of being mean in any circumstance. But there are those who will always use their words to hurt. I am glad to read that you have learned to not let their words affect you.

    Finally, you are beautiful. Period.

    Thanks for this post. I am certain that it will resonate with so many others as it did with me.

    • Reply
      SusanD
      January 28, 2014 at 7:27 am

      Beautifully said. Ditto ditto ditto!

    • Reply
      Diana C.
      January 28, 2014 at 7:54 am

      Yes, thank you for stating my feelings as well. Cruelty is unfortunate in children, but cruelty to a child by an adult is damnable! At that age, a child is not emotionally strong enough to overcome a hurt like that, and it cuts deep. Ask anorexics who began that deadly spiral because of a thoughtless comment.

      Cara, you are indeed beautiful and it is more than possible a mother with a less than attractive daughter, might make a remark about a prettier little girl to make herself feel better. Never cease letting your light shine and laughter heard.

  • Reply
    jordana
    January 28, 2014 at 5:07 am

    this is amazing!!! i was tortured by kids in middle school about my nose-pushed down the stairs, had things permanently written in year books (remember how you could write memories under your 8th grade pic? one kid wrote “jj’s schnoz”). it was so bad that in HS i had a nose job b/c i was so self conscious (in reality i did have a pretty bad nose, but it had never occurred to me until kids pointed it out). anyway-i think its amazing the way youve embraced whatever people think are a negative-you really put yourself out there on the internet, which can be a very cruel place, and being able to find peace is a huge accomplishment.

    i love your site! have been reading for about 6-7 months and look forward to your posts everyday.

  • Reply
    Jessica Rose
    January 28, 2014 at 5:07 am

    I think most people have a story to tell…I remember when I was about 12……my dad said to a friend of my brother’s…I bet you’ll want to take my daughter out in a couple of years time……my brother’s friend…looked me up and down….and said really loudly….Well she’s not exactly blonde is she? But what upset me more…was my dad’s reaction he didn’t say anything to defend me….he really laughed his head off like it was the funniest thing he ever heard…..and I still remember it clearly to this day..;(

    http://vodkaandarose.blogspot.co.uk

    • Reply
      Kerri
      January 28, 2014 at 5:14 pm

      You did not deserve that. I had a similar experience, not being defended by my dad. I hope you’ve been able to come to an understanding that your worth is based on much more than the preferences of one jerk!

  • Reply
    Orangeskies
    January 28, 2014 at 5:10 am

    LOVE this post and LOVE you, Cara…

  • Reply
    Jeanne
    January 28, 2014 at 5:14 am

    You are an absolutely stunning and gorgeous, certainly NOT horse faced!
    Thanks for sharing and being vulnerable.

  • Reply
    Stephanie
    January 28, 2014 at 5:16 am

    I appreciate your story! It’s amazing how much insecurities can weigh us down. I’ve had people comment on and laugh about my face before, and it’s like you can’t get away from it. But you’re right, once you face the insecurity and can laugh at it too or even just be thankful for the way you are, it makes everything so much better.

  • Reply
    Amber
    January 28, 2014 at 5:18 am

    Cara, you are truly beautiful and by reading your blog, also intelligent. As a MOM, I cannot believe someone’s mom said that. What a terrible thing to say about a child and a terrible thing to teach your child. People in cyberspace say horrible things because they can hide behind a computer. Like many people say “if you aren’t nice hiding behind a computer, you aren’t nice at all”. XOXO

  • Reply
    Debbie p
    January 28, 2014 at 5:19 am

    Cara, that must have hurt a lot especially at that age but good for you. You are a beautiful, successful woman and are now such a symbol of beauty to so many other woman. You help women to see their true beauty and that makeup only enhances the beauty they feel within.

  • Reply
    Ally
    January 28, 2014 at 5:19 am

    Yay! Go Cara! It’s so nice to hear this message and we don’t hear it nearly often enough. Be kind to yourself and love yourself.

  • Reply
    Karen
    January 28, 2014 at 5:24 am

    Thank you for sharing your story. You’re beautiful, successful and your a great mentor to other women!

  • Reply
    Cassia
    January 28, 2014 at 5:30 am

    I’m sorry, but I just can’t imagine how ANYONE could say that to you. I think you are beautiful!!

  • Reply
    Natalie E
    January 28, 2014 at 5:31 am

    I think you have a beautiful face. If yours is a horse face, then I want a horse face, too. I have been told a few times that I have a pointy nose and need a nose job. But, guess what? The people I love most in this world think my nose is great so I do, too!

  • Reply
    Kirsten
    January 28, 2014 at 5:32 am

    Omg!! If you have a horse face I don’t even want to know what kind of face I have! You are beautiful!

  • Reply
    Erin Smith
    January 28, 2014 at 5:33 am

    You’re definitely NOT a horseface! I think you are beautiful! I’m totes jealous of your smile:) when I smile my face is all crooked

  • Reply
    Angela
    January 28, 2014 at 5:34 am

    Cara-
    Not only are you beautiful(not up for debate), but you work to make other women feel beautiful, too. This is a rare and generous gift. I love the way you reframed this comment into something empowering for yourself. I work with middle school kids and I plan to steal this trick!

    • Reply
      Natalie
      January 28, 2014 at 8:56 am

      My thoughts exactly! I love how you took the power out of that insult. Cara, your compassion and love is authentic and cuts through all evil like IIID foundation cutting through the red. Your kindness is inspiring!

  • Reply
    Rachel (@rwpennell)
    January 28, 2014 at 5:38 am

    I’m so happy you put that behind you. You are gorgeous inside and out and dedicate your life to making women feel great about themselves. I guess you got the last laugh Miss Allure Beauty Blogger of the year!

  • Reply
    Cindi
    January 28, 2014 at 5:38 am

    You are gorgeous, inside and out. 🙂

  • Reply
    Sandy
    January 28, 2014 at 5:41 am

    What a great story to put on your blog!! It made me laugh. I think you are beautiful! Thank you for being real!

  • Reply
    Angie H
    January 28, 2014 at 5:45 am

    What?? I’ve been following you a long time and “horse face” has never once come to mind! Absolutely reduculous!! Some people……

  • Reply
    Christy
    January 28, 2014 at 5:45 am

    I was made fun of when I was in high school about my bird legs. They even called me Bird. I was self conscious about being underweight, started lifting weights &drinking protein shakes to bulk up. It never happened. I’m almost 45 &still have bird legs. An adult friend called them Kermit the frog legs to which I replied that at least I don’t have Miss Piggy legs. Touché!

    I was more self conscious about my nose which didn’t get much attention until I was grown & my fiances ex-wife decided that was all the ammo she had to use on me to make me feel bad. Little did she know she was making fun of the wrong body part!! Besides that, I’m in my 40 ‘ and I’m an adult now and i long ago learned that sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.

  • Reply
    Meredith @ Call Me What You Like
    January 28, 2014 at 5:50 am

    Thank you for always being hilarious, amazing, and so beautiful – inside and out! You’re definitely someone to look up to! 🙂

  • Reply
    Lindsey
    January 28, 2014 at 5:51 am

    I’m so glad someone as beautiful as you can share something like that with others. I have always so self-conscious about my Jewish nose and big hair, even as a kid. And then, this past New Year’s Eve, I lost my great-grandmother. When I visited her before she died, I realized; my nose and hair are the two features I have of hers (well, my big cheeks too). She had immigrated from Morocco after world war 2, and had faced so much in her life. So now, I don’t look in the mirror and cringe, I’m really proud I can see some of that amazing woman every day.
    I pity the woman who said such a thing. And while horses are beautiful, I have envied your face for it’s structure a million times over ( I can’t get over your cheek bones, so jealous). Good for you, and just remember Katt Williams theory on haters; you ain’t doing something right unless you keep getting more and more, it shows your success.

  • Reply
    Kelly
    January 28, 2014 at 5:53 am

    People are RUDE and feel the need to tear others down with their words….it must make them feel better in some way. I’m very sorry. Not all of us are rude and heartless. You are beautiful.

  • Reply
    Deborah Sacchi
    January 28, 2014 at 5:57 am

    I believe that happens to most young girls. You are so vulnerable and insecure when you you are that age. When I was young an girlfriend actually said to me, “My mother says you are homely”. I wasn’t sure what “homely” meant so I asked my sweet grandmother. She said, “Oh honey, she is just jealous because you are so beautiful”. I never forgot that. To this day when someone makes a derogatory remark I think of my grandmothers words!

    • Reply
      Jenna
      January 28, 2014 at 8:05 am

      Your grandmother was correct. It is disgusting to me how these “stage mom” types try to live through their children to the point where they are bullying other women’s daughters while at the same time, trying to instill confidence in their own. I do not even have to see a photo of you to know that you are pretty.

  • Reply
    Emerald Earrings
    January 28, 2014 at 6:00 am

    The ironic part of this whole post is that I think many of us who read your blog would be thrilled to look just like you 🙂 The grass is always greener I suppose. The one thing I still cannot accept about myself to this very day is my nose. I need to try harder on that!

    • Reply
      Emerald Earrings
      January 28, 2014 at 6:02 am

      I just re-read my comment and realized it rhymes. I guess it’s going to be one of *those* days. haha.

  • Reply
    Thereasa Locke
    January 28, 2014 at 6:03 am

    That was good. You just helped someone and everyone. We all feel “funny” about some part of us at some point and time.

  • Reply
    Hayley Grade
    January 28, 2014 at 6:07 am

    You are an inspiration!! And the epitome of a beautiful person inside and out! So happy I started my day with you!
    x,Hayley

  • Reply
    Michelle
    January 28, 2014 at 6:10 am

    Cara – TOO FUNNY, but also very wise. Just about everyone can relate.

    Let me try: “Hello, blogosphere! – It’s true, I have a square, manly jaw!! It’s cool, though, I HAC away at it. And, anyway, whatevs!”

    ::Giggling to myself:: That *does* feel great!

    • Reply
      Rachel Lauren
      January 28, 2014 at 1:18 pm

      I shall join… “Hello world! Yes my forehead is big and broad! Who cares??? I’m going to put my hair up in a ponytail anyway!”

    • Reply
      Nikki
      January 28, 2014 at 4:27 pm

      I went to modeling school when I was 15 ( no I am not a model ). Anyway, the owner of the school was critiquing each one of the girls one day and when it was my turn she said, ” you were definitely not blessed with good calves. ” My calves must’ve been a little too muscular for her taste. I am 40 now and it still affects me to this day. So, “hello world, my calves are naturally toned and I can skip working them out at the gym!!!!!!”

      Cara, you’re gorgeous. And in the words of my two sons when they see you on my ipad screen, ” oooh she’s HOT!!!!

      • Reply
        ECF (@d1xbeth)
        January 28, 2014 at 5:35 pm

        what a stupid “insult”
        I’m sorry but who cares what your calves look like… I bet that [w]itch had even worse words for some of the other girls. what a despicable industry, where part of a “school’s” aim is to tell young women what’s “wrong” with them, instead of building them up for the reasons that they’re beautiful.
        No wonder people are obsessed and upset with how they look

  • Reply
    Lorena
    January 28, 2014 at 6:13 am

    You can’t hear me because I live hundreds of miles away, but I’m clapping for you right now. What a wonderful way to handle the ugliness that is the internet.

  • Reply
    Jessica Deaguero
    January 28, 2014 at 6:20 am

    Some people are so insecure and disgusting. I think you are gorgeous and seem so down to earth. I think we all have been told something that was not so nice. Glad you handle it with grace 🙂

  • Reply
    melterese
    January 28, 2014 at 6:29 am

    Cara,

    You’re beautiful inside and out! Lots of people can be beautiful, but miss the key ingredient of having a beautiful soul! Love your blog!

  • Reply
    Erin
    January 28, 2014 at 6:29 am

    I agree with many others here that people who deal with their own insecurities are usually the most critical towards others. Truly it’s so cowardly to post mean things to a complete stranger because it doesn’t cost the poster anything. We need to remember that if we wouldn’t say it to build up and edify then it just has no place coming out of our mouths…..or keyboards! Cara, your blog is so much more than beauty tips. You share your heart and IT is beautiful. Thank you!

  • Reply
    Carrie Eastman
    January 28, 2014 at 6:34 am

    I wish I had a horse face if that’s what they look like!!! Your beautiful

  • Reply
    Jeanne
    January 28, 2014 at 6:36 am

    You do realize your friend’s mother was jealous of you.

    How sad that she was supposed to be the grown up, and she was feeding the junior high school girls such negativity.

  • Reply
    Roberta
    January 28, 2014 at 6:37 am

    Hi, my name’s roby from Italy!! Very nice to meet you! My English is not good but I understand any words you write and I think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve never seen! You’re my new inspiration… I’ve a little boy like you that it’s my life! He is 2 and half…Have a good day!

    • Reply
      Jenna
      January 28, 2014 at 1:48 pm

      Roberta,

      I think you have a better command of English than many native speakers I have met. Haha!

      • Reply
        Roberta
        January 28, 2014 at 2:36 pm

        Oh Jenna! You’re so lovely!! Thank you very much.. Kiss from Italy… Xoxo

  • Reply
    Cindy
    January 28, 2014 at 6:40 am

    Some people who comment on youtube say the worst things! It really just blows my mind sometimes… It’s like they think it’s a forum for saying the worst possible thing they can think of… It’s crazy, what’s wrong with them??? Anyway, you see how beautiful are, and so do we… i mean, for god’s sake you’re famous for your beauty and beauty tips and seeing the beauty in others ! whoever said that is perverted and an idiot, and probably sitting in their mom’s basement somewhere eating cheetos and pizza and scratching their ass…

    Cindy

    • Reply
      Jenna
      January 28, 2014 at 1:49 pm

      I am laughing so hard at this comment. You are my hero right now!

  • Reply
    Kate
    January 28, 2014 at 6:41 am

    You always crack me up. Also- I am familiar with horses as training them is my job and you Dont have a “horse face”. Perhaps the person that wrote that didn’t see the pic of you and Ms. Lima? The whole resemblance there was shocking. Haters gonna hate.

  • Reply
    Jen Kinsey
    January 28, 2014 at 6:44 am

    You are stunning. And you make people look stunning. There is nothing more beautiful than that. Thanks for putting yourself out there- it gives me strength.

  • Reply
    Beth Graves
    January 28, 2014 at 6:45 am

    Hi! Cara! I too have insecurities left over from Junior High school days. Mine was because of bad acne and it didn’t help I was not included in the “popular” group either. My insecurities are getting better but they still haunt me. One of the BIG steps I have taken to help with this is the starting of my new beauty blog. I would be above honored if you and any of your viewers would check out my new blog here at http://www.bethandbeauty.com. Thanks in advance!

  • Reply
    Cait
    January 28, 2014 at 7:04 am

    Horse face?! Not that my opinion matters, but I have never thought you looked like a horse- even in the pictures you post of your younger self. And what kind of parents says something so utterly mean spirited about a child?

  • Reply
    Amanda
    January 28, 2014 at 7:24 am

    Cara, I think the majority of us think you could in fact be a Victoria’s Secret model! Not that you should base how you feel about yourself on our opinions but just saying. Please remember that this says much more about the people who have made these comments than it does about you. Thank you for doing all that you do!!!!!!

  • Reply
    Jacque
    January 28, 2014 at 7:32 am

    It makes me sad that people can be so mean spirited. Kids are some of the worst,but a parent???
    You are beautiful inside and out!

  • Reply
    Kelsi A
    January 28, 2014 at 7:32 am

    I’d never heard of horse faced until I read this post, but if you’re horse faced then dang girl! I want a horse face!

  • Reply
    Michelle
    January 28, 2014 at 7:46 am

    My biggest insucurity is blushing…it is something I can’t control at all and I get made fun I for it all the time…which then makes me blush even more. To bad people don’t stick to the rule if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. But I echo everyone else too, especially for an adult to say to a child is very very sad. You are 100% BEAUTIFUL!!! SO MANY women look up to you and love you! Thanks for all you do!

    • Reply
      ECF (@d1xbeth)
      January 28, 2014 at 5:41 pm

      OH my GOSH me too!
      One kid used to call me “Red” in high school and say things like “Red is from the red light district” And adding injury to insult, you can feel your face burn when it happens.

    • Reply
      ECF (@d1xbeth)
      January 28, 2014 at 6:01 pm

      well I love your big “horsey” smile. it radiates happiness and love. I wish my smile was as big and bright and beautiful as yours. I actually have tiny teeth, they look like I never lost my baby ones, or at most I got some kind of kiddo training teeth that weren’t meant for adults.

      • Reply
        ECF (@d1xbeth)
        January 28, 2014 at 6:03 pm

        whooops that was meant as a reply to Cara! my bad lol

  • Reply
    Jennifer
    January 28, 2014 at 7:52 am

    Thanks, I needed this today! Why is it that among the hundreds of compliments we women receive, it’s the negative comments that stick with us? Good for you for letting it roll off your back- because WE all love you!

  • Reply
    Brooke Stacey
    January 28, 2014 at 8:01 am

    Mothers like you will raise a child the proper way, with lots of love and happiness for all of your little man’s friends! It is a poor reflection of a mother to say taunting things about other children! Your beautiful and you live a beautiful life (inside and out) and that’s all that matters! We need more mom’s like you and less like the rude not so compassionate & caring ones that are out there lurking! Not only are you beautiful but you make other people feel beautiful on a daily basis! Kudos to you for speaking out and flourishing about negativity !! 🙂

  • Reply
    Jenna
    January 28, 2014 at 8:01 am

    I find myself asking how this is even an issue because I have never, not once, thought that your face looked like a horse. I actually thought this was a joke at first. Your friend’s mom was jealous because she felt that her daughter was not as pretty as you (I’m thinking stage/cheerleader mom who lives through her child) and whomever left such a cowardly remark on your YouTube video is clearly below average as far as his or her aesthetic features, probably jealous and possibly below average intellectually. Oh, and this is coming from a psychologist, so you can take that to the bank.

    I cannot understand how a mother, who is trying to raise her own child with confidence and good values, could stoop so low as to say such a thing about another woman’s daughter. Like I said, it’s jealousy. It’s disgusting.

    I’m sorry you have to deal with others’ insecurities. Here you are working your behind off to keep up up-to-date (for free, might I add) on the latest and greatest, and you have to navigate through jealous girl internet bullying. I don’t think I have to tell you that you are beautiful. I think you are humbly aware. For real though, the brave acceptance of such a ridiculous label is without merit. I’m speaking bluntly – you DO NOT look like a horse. This is a fact.

  • Reply
    Maja
    January 28, 2014 at 8:06 am

    you’re fantastic!
    love ya 🙂

  • Reply
    brandy m
    January 28, 2014 at 8:09 am

    As others have said, if you have a horse face, then I want one, too! Giddy up, you are GORGEOUS inside and out, and I love that your blog has more content like this than any other beauty blogs I’ve ever come across.
    Have you ever read Cyrano de Bergerac, or seen the movie Roxanne? Well it is all about the panache, baby! I have a scar on my face as a result of a skin graft of possibly cancerous birthmark. I had the surgery when I was 11 years old. It scarred pretty badly, and well, you know how kids can be (and apparently mothers, which is absolutely shameful). In high school, we read about Cyrano and it was a catalyst for me – I came to accept myself as I was – beautiful and unique.
    I hope you post today will act as a catalyst for someone out there, and they will realize that they too are beautiful and unique!
    Thanks Cara!

  • Reply
    Heather
    January 28, 2014 at 8:09 am

    It just shows that the people that said have some insecurities! You are beautiful!

  • Reply
    nicole sayer
    January 28, 2014 at 8:14 am

    You are beautiful and amazing! You have touched so many lives including my own. I am so thankful for you and your blog!

  • Reply
    Kathy S
    January 28, 2014 at 8:20 am

    You are beautiful, inside and out! I love that you have such a great attitude. It almost makes you feel sorry for someone who is so miserable that they have to leave mean comments like that, what a sad life they must have!

  • Reply
    Evelyn
    January 28, 2014 at 8:23 am

    Wow, just so you know I’ve never left a comment on anything however, I feel the need to do so now. I don’t know you personally but, what I have seen with your email updates and videos, you see the beauty in everyone. What makes us unique is what makes us beautiful. You are a stunning woman and that is what I see on the outside and your kindness is what makes you stunning on the inside as well. I feel sorry for the people that feel they need to put down others to make themselves feel better. Keep doing what you’re doing, teaching the rest of us how to look as beautiful on the outside as we are on the inside.

  • Reply
    karen
    January 28, 2014 at 8:24 am

    I love it when you read something at the exact time that you need to hear those words. Yesterday I took some selfies for the very first time. I took A LOT of selfies because every one that I looked at shouted out my imperfections to me. My nose, something that I have had issues with since childhood, thanks to kids being kids. Now that I have reached the age of 55, I see the lines on my neck and the beginning of my face and gravity meeting up. This time I am the mean critic. I feel good about how I have come to love and accept myself based on what is on the inside but surpisingly, watching myself age is a lot harder that I would have imagined.

    Thank God for you Cara. Because of you and this website, instead of spending the day feeling bad about myself, I went another direction. I pulled out my makeup, jumped on your website, and pulled a rabbit out of my hat! After using some HAC tips and some of your photo tips, I bravely picked up that camera and clicked away. The results? Not to shabby : )

    Reading this post today was just the medicine I needed. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you do and being the beautiful ( inside & out ) person you are.

  • Reply
    Chiana
    January 28, 2014 at 8:24 am

    So, a horses a** said you have a horse face? I absorbed negative comments like a sponge when I was younger. My face is very round, so I tend to covet the longer narrow faces of other beauties like yourself.

    • Reply
      Jenna
      January 28, 2014 at 1:52 pm

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    • Reply
      Tonya M
      January 29, 2014 at 1:36 pm

      I have a round face as well, and I totally agree. I always believed that horse faces (for lack of a better word) were really pretty. But “equine features” is a beautiful way to describe the look.

  • Reply
    Danielle
    January 28, 2014 at 8:27 am

    It’s unbelievable that people feel the need to say such unkind things, but I’m glad to hear you know better than to buy into their unhappiness. You are absolutely lovely, and reflect beauty and grace inside and out.

    Keep shining.

    xo

  • Reply
    Susan
    January 28, 2014 at 8:31 am

    What in the heck? Who would say something like that?? I think you’re beautiful and so do many others. I’m glad you can let that stuff just roll off…good for you. I’m just floored that ANYONE thinks that it is appropriate to post/say that stuff out loud. Good grief.

  • Reply
    Stella
    January 28, 2014 at 8:42 am

    Wow….I just read your post. As a kid, I was constantly teased and taunted with “bucktooth”…and other mean names. I feel that even though that was over 30 years ago, it really affected my overall confidence as an adult. Even though, I had braces the taunting stuck. I am constantly critiquing myself over flaws. I always wish I could be that girl, who was superconfident! Thank you for posting today! You are gorgeous and I admire you so much!

  • Reply
    Brenda
    January 28, 2014 at 8:47 am

    I understand on people saying rude things. I’ve been thin my whole life and have always heard the skinny comments and do you ever eat? It hurts just as much as someone telling you that you’re overweight. It used to bother me when i was younger but now i just say..”i’m so lucky”.:) We are all beautiful in our own way and don’t ever forget it.<3

    • Reply
      Jenna
      January 28, 2014 at 2:00 pm

      My mother has always been incredibly thin and has faced anorexia comments most of her life. She said it made her feel sad and insecure so I see where you are coming from. Of course, now that she is in her 50s, she looks like a hot mama and all of the people who used to poke fun at her are now overweight… so you have that to look forward to.

      I’m the short, athletic type and now that I am no longer involved in the extra curriculars of my youth, I struggle with keeping my weight at an optimal level. Nobody has ever been mean to me when I’ve had my larger days, but if they had, I know that I probably wouldn’t have been able to show my face to the world again because I was so very sensitive about it.

      I’m not sure if it is possible to compare how one feels to being ridiculed for for being skinny to how one feels for being ridiculed for being fat, but either way, a person’s weight is their business and others would do well to keep their comments to themselves. They’d do even better to focus the energies of their judgements toward improving their own lives and making themselves happy so that they do not feel compelled to misplace their anger and frustrations on the innocent.

  • Reply
    Andrea
    January 28, 2014 at 9:02 am

    When I was in my early 20’s a guy friend said my eyes reminded him of Dave McElhatton’s (local newcaster – google him). I was a bit put off at first. What 20 year old wants to be compared to a middle-aged man? But then I decided that Dave had kind, compassionate eyes and years of expressing joy had left permanent reminders of happy times. So I took it as a compliment.

  • Reply
    Maddie
    January 28, 2014 at 9:10 am

    Cara, love, if I’ve learned anything in my long life, it is to watch what I say about others because words hurt!. I sure wish we could be born with this filter. When I was in 9th grade, a boy sitting next to me looked at me and said that I had bug eyes. He said it loud enough to be heard by several people. I was humiliated and would carry that with me well into my 30s when, bless his heart, a photographer told me that I had the most amazing eyes. How wonderful that there are people like him and you who see the beauty of each and every face. We all are beautiful, and you, Sweetheart, are more beautiful than most. (from a 66-year-old granny who loves your posts)

  • Reply
    Corinn
    January 28, 2014 at 9:13 am

    You most definitely do NOT have a horse face! You’re beautiful inside and out, Cara!

  • Reply
    Jessica
    January 28, 2014 at 9:27 am

    Cara, if you have a horseface, then I want one too!!! You’re beautiful. Youtube users can be horrible!

  • Reply
    TLM
    January 28, 2014 at 9:34 am

    I’ve never thought you were anything other than stunningly gorgeous. 🙂

  • Reply
    Lani
    January 28, 2014 at 9:49 am

    Oh, your post breaks my heart. People can be so mean. I grew up in a place with a 99% Filipino/Chinese population where everyone was short and dark, so In middle school I was called the Jolly Green Giant (I was already 5’9″ at 13 years old) and the creature from the White Lagoon (because I’m so white). Once I grew up and moved to the continental US I realized that I’m actually just an average looking person!

    I don’t think you have a horseface at all, but if you did then I definitely want a horseface, too!

  • Reply
    Lucie
    January 28, 2014 at 9:49 am

    Cara, thank you for the lesson. I will try to overcome my insecurities about myself that other people called me. I am who I am, take it or leave it =)
    I love love love your blog!
    Lucie

  • Reply
    Kathi Miller
    January 28, 2014 at 9:53 am

    Cara, love your blog and your ability to see the beauty in everyone. If anyone says something negative about your gorgeous face, just tell them it’s the Chinese Year of the Horse. It’s your year to shine even brighter!!

  • Reply
    Kristen
    January 28, 2014 at 9:55 am

    What grown adult says something like that??!

  • Reply
    Kim
    January 28, 2014 at 9:58 am

    I’ve never commented on a blog before, but had to this time. I think you’re gorgeous! And what a great outlook you have! I just don’t get the need to comment on people’s looks. I was on a TV show Facebook page recently to get some info about the show and many people – adults! – were making comments about how ugly the actress is. I’m no Pollyanna, but I was shocked! How hurtful and mean, and what does it matter what she looks like?? Like many others have said, you are beautiful inside and out.

  • Reply
    Audrey Collins
    January 28, 2014 at 10:03 am

    Cara I got called bug eyes all the time! People are stupid & kids are plain mean, my eyes are now one of my favorite & best features in my opinion! You made them (my hug eyes) Pop in the pics for your contest so Thank you! You’re beautiful!

  • Reply
    lehcar90
    January 28, 2014 at 10:18 am

    cute story! isn’t it such a relief to see how far we’ve come since childhood/adolescence? dealing with those comments for the first time, not to mention the (literally) raging hormones that make everything seem 1000x worse… i mean, i still have some insecurities to this day, but they don’t cripple me. i was always teased about being so, so tall. i was the tallest in my class til 7th grade, boys and girls included. i actually received a paul bunyan award in first grade, and i am a girl. that set off many years of insecurity, nobody asking me to dance in middle school, and lots of custom-ordered clothing because lots of clothes wouldn’t cover my torso or come down to my ankles. after high school and college, i love being tall and wouldn’t change it even if i could! 🙂 something that used to be a curse is now one of my favorite features.

  • Reply
    Brittany
    January 28, 2014 at 10:28 am

    This made me laugh so hard ( teeth out and all! Although in 7th grade mine were alittle less horse and more beaver). I love this post so much. We have all been there. You rock!

  • Reply
    Angela
    January 28, 2014 at 10:34 am

    Goodness, this post made me start crying my eyes out. I hate reading/ hearing about mean comments on the internet. HATE it!

    And then I realized….after all these years, I still hold my insecurities close. Why?! There’s no use! Thanks for the advice, hopefully I will actually use it!

    • Reply
      Lauren
      January 31, 2014 at 10:06 am

      I cried, too. As well as realizing I still hold my insecurities close. Then, there’s Cara who so boldly puts her insecurities out there for everyone to read and I wish I could be that brave and accepting of myself. Just simply put it behind me and take the power out of the hurt. I’m very close to going under the knife a second time for my nose but something always stops me. It’s posts like these!

  • Reply
    Clancy
    January 28, 2014 at 10:54 am

    That is horrible!! Well you can sit back and laugh because I doubt that person has ever tried to make/help someone feel better about themselves and that is something you get to do daily by teaching us all how to do things that help us feel better about ourselves! Jealous unhappy people have nothing better to do than to try to make others feel the way they feel!! You are fantastic!

  • Reply
    Kimberly
    January 28, 2014 at 11:04 am

    You are BEAUTIFUL. Inside and out. With or WITHOUT make up. You help other women find their beautiful side inside and out. You have turned something that was said to/you (about you) into a lifetime of helping other women see the best in themselves. Your blogs are always positive and interesting. It takes courage to open up about painful areas of our lives. Keep focusing on finding the positive in all things & keep moving FORWARD!!

  • Reply
    Sarah
    January 28, 2014 at 11:08 am

    Someone’s MOM said that about you!?!? I feel sorry for her children 🙁

    You are beautiful!

  • Reply
    kelisen
    January 28, 2014 at 11:12 am

    You are beautiful! And you do so much for all of your readers. Kudos to you When I was in middle school a boy in my class told me I looked like a black spider and at first I was horrified then I thought of Charlotte’s web and remembered thinking Charlotte was beautiful. I decided I was more Charlotte’s Web spider than Lord of the Rings spider. Take it all in stride 🙂 you’re the best! We love you

  • Reply
    Ashley @ StyleOnHigh.com
    January 28, 2014 at 11:21 am

    Not only are you beautiful, you’re inspirational! And that’s WAY more than can be said for bullies and name-callers. I love what you are doing here! Keep it up!

  • Reply
    Andi
    January 28, 2014 at 11:30 am

    I’m so happy you were able to let go of that insecurity! It is what makes you beyond beautiful! Any person that talks badly about other people’s looks is just plain ugly. Your beauty radiates from inside!

  • Reply
    Nicole Marie
    January 28, 2014 at 12:05 pm

    That’s awesome Cara, I’m glad that you were able to put it behind you. I used to get made fun of for my teeth before I got braces, and I would try to cover my smile too. Eventually I learned that it wasn’t such a big deal, but I really felt it at the time. It says a lot more about the person insulting you than you who really are though. You are beautiful <3

  • Reply
    Sarah
    January 28, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    You are stunning!

  • Reply
    Marcela
    January 28, 2014 at 12:07 pm

    Yes, you have a “horse face” as Adriana Lima has, and yes i have a ” car tire lips” as Angelina Jolie, so now tell me….. who is laughing last??? much love!!! Marcela.

  • Reply
    Bobbi C.
    January 28, 2014 at 12:14 pm

    Hi Kara. Thanks so much for sharing that. You’re right that we all have our insecurities, often fostered by people sharing their kind and helpful “opinions” over the years.

    Mine were usually directed toward my lilly-white skin. “Don’t you tan?” is an oft heard phrase I hope, for the questioner’s sake, to never have to hear again, because after years of trying my hardest to get a tan to appease these poor souls, the answer has come to a firm conclusion: No, no I DON’T tan. Thank you so much for your concern, but I’m so sorry, you will have to live with me just as I am. Put on a pair of sunglasses and walk it off.

    SO, like you, I’ve learned to let those comments roll off my back. I am “fair skinned”. Furthermore, logic dictates that if I was supposed to be something other than “fair skinned”, don’t you think I would be? Yeah, me too.

    It’s easier to come to those conclusions when you grow up and have, hopefully, become your own person regardless of what anyone else may think of you. But as a child growing up in an era where Christie Brinkley and Heather Locklear were the beauty “ideals”, it was particularly difficult to accept. Instead of pouring over the pages of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue and recognizing myself anywhere within them, I found consolation in the images of the movie stars of the 30’s and 40’s, an era when creamy skin and dark hair could be a girl’s calling card. Those images didn’t remove the sting, but they did lessen it.

    Finally, I remember when Julia Roberts first came on the scene and the term “coltish” was bandied about; Sarah Jessica Parker has whole internet memes devoted to her horse face-ish-ness. Somehow, I think those gals have done alright for themselves. So have you!

    • Reply
      Jenna
      January 28, 2014 at 2:20 pm

      Bobbi,

      I was also the recipient of the fair skinned comments and NO, I do not tan. In junior high, a girl made a comment to me and I told her that “the most I can do is burn and even that is difficult” to which she replied, “I’d rather look red than pure white.” She passed away 2 years later from a freak brain aneurism. I felt odd when I was unable to muster up the sadness of not having her around anymore. It wasn’t that I didn’t care and didn’t feel sorry for her, but I also did not miss her. She was not nice to me. How was I supposed to conjure up tears for not having to be bullied by her anymore? Bullying is so very harmful and it causes multifaceted problems.

      In the past, I purchased expensive tanning bed passes (using the most high-end beds available) and nothing ever changed. Of course, I came to my senses and stopped exposing myself to cancer-causing radiation a few years later but I am with you – some of us DO NOT tan.

      I literally do not care anymore. Now that I am in my early thirties, I see all of my peers beginning to develop wrinkles around their eyes and mouths. My fair skin has proven, to this point, to be resistant and ageless. I actually like that it is white. I have dark hair and like you said, it is easy for me to follow the retro trend. If I have a day where I want to look more tan, I will wear bronzer or leg makeup. It doesn’t ever meet other people’s definition of tan, but it gives me a little more color.

      I have found it interesting that now that people are aware of the harmful effects of the sun, more people are opting to keep their skin white while using bronzing products. The market for these items really seems to have taken off and more people are appearing more like us because they don’t want to develop wrinkles or cancer.

      Nice to meet you, my fellow porcelain sister!

    • Reply
      Amy
      January 29, 2014 at 8:14 am

      Ditto for all of that… I’m hard-to-find-foundation-to-match-my-skin fair! I got the same “don’t you tan?” comments. And actually, due to the Italian in my blood, I DO tan… if I try. But why would I? I absolutely love my porcelain skin and cover up with SPF every day of the year! Not to mention the rising chances of skin cancer… in any case, go fair-skinned sisters!

  • Reply
    Ary C
    January 28, 2014 at 12:15 pm

    You are a beautiful girl thriving in your career, that’s just mean insecure people being completely rude. I always got told i had a BIG FOREHEAD it it hunted me for years, a lot of years with bangs lets just say that. But then I realize this is who I am i cant do anything about it so embrace it, and so i did i wear my hair how ever i want pulled back showing the world my big forehead and now if i wear bangs its because i think they look cute not a security blanket. My point to this is lets embrace our unconventional looks, they makes different and beautiful!

  • Reply
    Kylie Bond
    January 28, 2014 at 12:21 pm

    You are brave to say all that! I never even thought that about you. Crazy people! All I see is gorgeous and think how can I make myself look like that.

  • Reply
    julesocal
    January 28, 2014 at 12:31 pm

    People can be stupid and evil. I can’t believe the original insult was from a woman (especially a grown woman), I’ve found men much more likely to throw insults based on physical features.

    You have a forum here where you consistently point out the good in other people. That’s one of the reasons we all love your blog. The good you do cancels out all of the evil dished out via YouTube.

  • Reply
    Crystal
    January 28, 2014 at 12:38 pm

    Cara you are absolutely beautiful! I’m glad you’ve been able to put those insecurities to rest. People say mean things because more often than not they feel insecure or ugly so they take it out on others.

  • Reply
    Leah
    January 28, 2014 at 12:44 pm

    I’m so confused you’re perfect I never would think you have a horse face and you don’t. People just look so. Hard for flaws in other people their own views get distorted

  • Reply
    Sandra
    January 28, 2014 at 12:44 pm

    Hello, Cara. Meet “piranha” aka “horse face”, lol … my grandfather by marriage (RIP – and who also helped raise me) used to call me the two names above. My “dad” was known to have a dry sense of humor and I really believe it helped me grow thick skin, and for that, I.am.thankful to him. I rarely let things get under my skin b/c most of the time it’s only a reflection of how ugly or damaged the person spitting the insults is inside. Now, I’m not saying my dad was ugly b/c I know he loved me and well, that was just dad being dad – everyone laughed off his comments and rolled with the punches. Laugh on and focus on the positives of life.

  • Reply
    Teresa Bennett
    January 28, 2014 at 12:49 pm

    Wow! I am amazed how people can be so mean. Like my mom used to say – they are just jealous.
    You are BEAUTIFUL!
    btw- love my IIID foundation
    Teresa

  • Reply
    Sandy
    January 28, 2014 at 12:50 pm

    Sometimes we wonder why some children can be so mean, leave it to some parents out there to give them this unpleasant example. I to had mean things said about me to when I was a kid during middle school. I to came to accept that I was beautiful the way I am, no validation needed but during high school my peers voted me most beautiful lol :p

  • Reply
    Heather
    January 28, 2014 at 12:56 pm

    I’ve come to learn that people who are critical and judgmental toward themselves reflect those unhealthy attitudes towards other people as well. In the end, those comments are a reflection of the one who said it and not the one who it was aimed at. You are an amazing example of someone who has learned to love themselves and see the beauty in yourself and therefore see the beauty in everyone else. In this world, that is a rare thing and what you are teaching girls and women is so important. Love yourself and you will find it easier to love others.

  • Reply
    Amy Bowen-Muenk.
    January 28, 2014 at 12:59 pm

    You are gorgeous. You do not have a “horse face”.

  • Reply
    B
    January 28, 2014 at 1:12 pm

    This is very timely for me. Thank you! I was literally talking about this with someone this morning. “Some people are just going to hate me for no good reason, and I just can’t care.” (Which is super tough for me, because I’m a people pleaser.

    Thanks for passing along the empowerment. Ü

  • Reply
    Terri
    January 28, 2014 at 2:08 pm

    I cannot believe the nerve of some people! I myself have always loved the look of strong features like yours because I have a trait of a different animal. I have a pug nose aka pig nose. You are a beautiful women and your confidence makes you even more so. Your blog is great!

  • Reply
    Anna R
    January 28, 2014 at 2:12 pm

    I only have one word to say to this entry:

    YAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS.

  • Reply
    Amanda
    January 28, 2014 at 2:14 pm

    Oh. My. Why on earth would a mother say that about her child’s friend!? I hope she is reading your blog now and feels terrible! When I was a freshman in high school, this guy told me I looked like a deer! Luckily, I just brushed him off as some hick that spouted off stupid things to make himself feel better, but you still never forget things like that that are said about you or to you. You are so pretty!

  • Reply
    Erin
    January 28, 2014 at 2:22 pm

    I know exactly what you mean! When I was in year 12, i was asked to the school formal by a guy, who later told my friends he didn’t realise my butt was that big. At the time, I weighed 42kg (92lbs) so there was no way that’s even possible but I was devastated and for years had this image of myself that my butt was MASSIVE and completely out of proportion. It took my mum pointing out that I’m exactly the same size and shape as my sister and that I thought she had a great figure to pull me out of it. Even now, I’m 27 and I still get the odd twinge of insecurity about it! Kids can be so cruel.

  • Reply
    Ashley
    January 28, 2014 at 2:24 pm

    Love this post!! Very encouraging. People make fun of my height all the time (being that I am eighteen but only four foot ten and three-fourths…), but really, if we all were same how boring would this earth be?? Everyone is different and everyone has something that makes them beautiful.

    Anyway, you certainly do not have a horse face!! Love your blog so much by the way!

  • Reply
    Jessica @ j is for jessica
    January 28, 2014 at 2:43 pm

    People can be so mean! I have larger than average teeth and I’ve always been self conscious about it, and even had a ‘friend’ call me beaver teeth! I’ve kind of accepted it as part of who I am now and part of my character…but I wish beavers were more majestic-haha-although I am a bit of a water gal, true blue pisces, so hey, maybe it fits!

  • Reply
    Jeni
    January 28, 2014 at 3:25 pm

    Cara, this post touched my soul in a profound way. I myself heard through the all familiar juvenile grapevine that I looked like a horse…dagger to the self-esteem. I was always told don’t smile so big, learn to smile with your mouth closed, on & on. Tomorrow I will smile a big horse smile & not worry about the haters…because horses are majestic!

  • Reply
    Heather
    January 28, 2014 at 3:35 pm

    People shock me. Horse face?!!! Really?! I loved what you said about it though. It’s a good reminder for all of us…because we all do have insecurities!

  • Reply
    sarah
    January 28, 2014 at 3:52 pm

    Good for you Cara! I also was picked on as a kid. All i ever learned is the people who make fun of others are just trying to get the spotlight off of their own obvious insecurities. I now have a daughter and try to teach her that the most important thing in life is to see people for what is in their heart because we all have our own God created, beautiful, wonderful flaws that make us our own individual self. Don’t let anyone change you but you

  • Reply
    Kami
    January 28, 2014 at 4:20 pm

    Oh sweetie. That statement says so much more about her than you. People can be so cruel. :/

    • Reply
      Kami
      January 28, 2014 at 4:23 pm

      P.S.
      I had a girl tell me (in the cafeteria, I remember this vividly ..) that I was be super UGLY as an adult because I was a cute kid. SNORT.

  • Reply
    Kaitlin Lowe
    January 28, 2014 at 4:34 pm

    Cara, this is a wonderful post. I, too, struggle with insecurities daily and it doesn’t help when others point them out. I am slowly learning that you cannot control what others may say or do but you can control your how you react. It is very difficult but I try everyday to build up my self-confidence and I try my best to say things that will help others do the same. This short storyhas done that for me. Thank you. And from this post I am assured that you are not only beautiful on the outside as I have thought ever since I started following you but that you are even more beautiful on the inside (which I didn’t think was possible!)

  • Reply
    Kade Bailey
    January 28, 2014 at 4:50 pm

    You are gorgeous and I just adore your videos and your blog because you are so so adorable yourself! Xo

  • Reply
    Cathy B. (@fulltimemamom)
    January 28, 2014 at 5:03 pm

    You’re a much better person than me. I would have told everyone what the friend’s mom’s name was. She deserves it!!! Your personality makes you even more gorgeous. 🙂

  • Reply
    Elisa
    January 28, 2014 at 5:41 pm

    Ditto all of the above!

  • Reply
    Em
    January 28, 2014 at 5:41 pm

    Hi Cara,

    Never commented here before, but I’ve been a loyal reader of your blog. You’re absolutely beautiful, on the inside and on the outside, with makeup and without makeup. Those kind of comments are so hard to let go of and put up a big wall that can shatter us, prevent us from forming healthy relationships, and stop us from showing the world our individual, unique beauty. Healing is a hard process! The world around can see what a beautiful, kind, loving person you are.

    Keep on being you and spreading the love!

  • Reply
    Leslie
    January 28, 2014 at 6:07 pm

    I have been sitting here trying to compose an eloquent comment to let you know how beautiful you are and how much I appreciate your willingness to be open and honest. I think Kaitlin Lowe expressed it so well, so I’ll just say ditto to what she said.

  • Reply
    Jessica Caron
    January 28, 2014 at 6:39 pm

    So irritating that a parent would say such a thing. When I was younger I would always get comments about how I had such a beautiful face, as an overweight teenager it was such a back handed “compliment” and really always stung. As far as “horse face” I think that is such a terrible way to describe someone’s facial features and some of my favorite celebrities are considered to have a “horse face” . I wish I had a slender face with great bone structure and a big beautiful smile! We all have insecurities and it is really rotten when adults bring up any type of negative comments regarding a child’s appearance.

  • Reply
    Jana Tolman
    January 28, 2014 at 7:15 pm

    Kudos to you for braving such an insecurity! Those things we hear when we’re kids can sure take a toll. For the record though, I wouldn’t think of a horse at all by looking at your face! You are just stunning.

    When I was in middle school it was brought to my attention that I had “chipmunk cheeks”. Which I hated for a while, until I got older and realized that my high, very defined cheekbones make my face look amazing when I add a touch of blush. 🙂 So suck on that, haters! 🙂

  • Reply
    Angie Rice™ (@angierice)
    January 28, 2014 at 7:38 pm

    Oh my goodness. Cara you are gorgeous… and thanks for sharing such an authentic experience. Its helps us women know we aren’t alone in the junk of the past. Keep on keeping, girlfriend!

  • Reply
    Tiffany
    January 28, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    Cara, you are gorgeous! I just found your website through tip junkie and I have to admit I’ve become addicted! I bought your IIID makeup and got stuff you’ve listed. If I cold look 1/2 as pretty as you I’d be a happy camper!

  • Reply
    Rebekah
    January 28, 2014 at 8:06 pm

    Way to be yourself! 🙂 It made me happy to read this. And think of how many young girls you may inspire to love the way they look if they have similar features. All my girls have rounder faces (which I think are beautiful), and I was so happy when Jennifer Lawrence happened on to the scene, because they look very similar to her. It’s great to point out to them beautiful celebrities who look like them, just because our kids are so saturated with media, and possibly “ideal” face shapes, etc. Thanks again for the post. It made me smile.

  • Reply
    Ana Swami (@anaswami)
    January 28, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    I am a long time lurker and it is my first time commenting 🙂 I cannot tell you how much I love your blog! You are so talented and so down to earth. Even though I only know you through your blog I can tell you are not only beautiful on the outside but also and most importantly on the inside. Great post !

  • Reply
    Lori
    January 28, 2014 at 8:28 pm

    I think you have a beautiful face! Did no one ever tell them, “If you can’t say something nice don’t say it at all?”

  • Reply
    norcalkatie
    January 28, 2014 at 8:30 pm

    When you can face the world and tell it, “Is that the best you’ve got?!” and laugh it off, step into your truth, and be authentically you… that’s when you own your story. Kudos to you. PS – Love my IID and how it has changed my perception of my own beauty. Thank you.

  • Reply
    signaturepartiesanddesign
    January 28, 2014 at 8:46 pm

    First off, you are beautiful and do not have a horseface anyway and shame on that awful woman for being so insensitive. 12 years old is such a transitional time in a girls life and our whole bodies and faces are changing. Now you are giving the rest of us great beauty advice so there!

  • Reply
    LaReesa
    January 28, 2014 at 9:18 pm

    Thank you for this post! I’ve been thinking SO MUCH lately about how much time women spend hating themselves for the most shallow things. If I added up all the hours I spent worrying about my weight and the stupid willpower I wasted trying not to eat a cookie I could probably have my master’s in biochemistry and have written a book by now. WHAT A FREAKING WASTE OF ENERGY. Thank you for preaching self-love and acceptance, and judging by the women commenting on this post, the future looks bright for body shame to meet its death. I hope all moms can learn to raise their babies to be loving and confident — because I think we could accomplish so much more if we just loved and took care of ourselves.

  • Reply
    Lori
    January 28, 2014 at 9:23 pm

    I think your big smile is the pretties part of you! Rock on, beautiful sister!

  • Reply
    V
    January 28, 2014 at 10:00 pm

    Amen, sister. Own it. I have a five-head. Literally can fit all 5 fingers between my eyebrows and my hairline. I tell people it’s due to my large brain, which took me from an low-income inner city to Columbia University and now UC Berkeley. You’re beautiful, multi-talented, and compassionate; and so am I. My critics and nay-sayers helped mold me into who I am, and for that, I’m grateful and proud. Cheers to rising above, and continuing to rise! 🙂

  • Reply
    gingererin
    January 28, 2014 at 10:58 pm

    Skip forward several years later, and you’re mistaken for Adriana Lima backstage at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Could your friends mom ever claim THAT?

    You’re beautiful, lady. And so darn likable. Even for someone like me, who at times is cynical. You’re just beautiful, easy to relate to, and living your dream, which to me makes you the perfect woman. I think the moral of your story is that even after the woman, who clearly wasn’t hugged enough as a child, said something in a demeaning manner, you were able to have the confidence to find the good in it. Horses are beautiful creatures, you are 100% on that. I wish I looked like a horse. I have actually been jealous of a horses mane before. True story.

    I grew being teased, A LOT. I have Asperger’s Syndrome, and 99.9% of people just think I’m weird for my outlook on life, and just for being me.. but I love myself. I don’t need anyone else to validate me.

    Kudos to you for being so strong, and wonderful, and taking such a positive approach to something that was meant to be negative. I am sorry you had to have insecurities as a child and young woman, and that you were hurt by it, but this story just makes me admire you that much more for being able to laugh about it now. It’s beautiful.

  • Reply
    gingererin
    January 29, 2014 at 12:04 am

    And also, thank you. I’m sure you don’t realize it always in the things you post on here, but they do make a difference. And while I do love myself, I’m going through a time in my life where this post and the meaning behind it is something I really, really needed. <3

  • Reply
    Marie Gooch Rains
    January 29, 2014 at 1:32 am

    Great comment; great response. I imagine that unfortunate mother was already intimidated by how pretty you were, and her own insecurities came out. The same goes for the person who selected the wrong girl to pick on with a blog comment! (A girl who is too strong to let that go, and who has virtual friends all over the world who are equally encouraged by her, and rallying around her.) Kudos!

  • Reply
    Sue
    January 29, 2014 at 4:27 am

    1..) your post is awesome! 2.) that mom sucks! 3.) that is such an awkward time in a kid’s life- I also had a ” horse face” supposedlly; it just took time for me to grow into my features. 4.) this whole idea is almost laughable b/c you’re so pretty!

  • Reply
    Samantha
    January 29, 2014 at 5:19 am

    I love this post, isn’t it crazy how some silly comment made in the 6th grade can seriously stay with you for YEARS. When I was younger I had pasty white skin, unfortunately not the porcelain skin, it was almost green at my palest-not the cutest thing in the world, but I thought I was the only person to notice it. Unfortunately my white skin was matched with my dark dark dark hair. I would cry when people would tell me it was black when I was younger, I WAS A BRUNETTE. 😉 Funny how I dye my hair now to get it black. I was called Snow White for years, and although the is a princess the way everyone snickered about it and how Snow White wasn’t a pretty princess drove me NUTS.

    When I turned 16 I started tanning, almost EVERYDAY, I didn’t ever want to be pale again. Unfortunately, the too tan look doesn’t work either! Hahaha I decided it was time to just be happy with myself, I still tan here and there or use a self tanner, however, I don’t worry about it as much anymore and I do it for ME. 😉

    You are SO beautiful, inside and out. I hope you never ever think of those mean comments again. Middle School is such a harvesting ground for bad feelings.

  • Reply
    Susan
    January 29, 2014 at 5:50 am

    When I was younger I was told my “arms had filled out more than she would have thought they would” this comment still lingers with me after all these years. It makes me self-conscious to wear a cropped sleeve or anything that really shows my arms. I guess the lesson it teaches us is that we have to be careful of what WE say to others, because our words can have a lasting impact on someone for the good and bad. BTW you radiate beauty inside and out, the end.

  • Reply
    Barbara Heath
    January 29, 2014 at 6:39 am

    You definitely do NOT have a horse face but what you do have (aside from gorgeous features) is a beautiful soul 🙂

  • Reply
    Ashley Meena
    January 29, 2014 at 6:51 am

    What’s interesting to me is that all that analyzing of your face may have led you to your profession. If not for that awful comment…and the pain it caused…..you may have never found something so good!

  • Reply
    Amy
    January 29, 2014 at 7:56 am

    When I was in seventh grade, a friend (not a friend anymore…) told me I had a “man jaw”. To this day, at age 19, I am STILL insecure about it and have gone through periods of hating my square face shape! I’ve tried holding my head different ways in photos, different hair cuts, and strategies of applying makeup, all in hopes of masking my “man jaw”. Alas, none of that did anything for me. The only thing that is finally now getting through to me is the love of my boyfriend of two years, to whom I just confided in about what my friend said all those years ago. He looked at me, laughed good and hard, took my man jaw in his hand and kissed my face, and said I’m the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. Every time I catch myself thinking about how I’d love to have a softer jawline or thicker hair or thinner legs, I remember how he loves me perfectly for exactly what I am. And why would I ever want to change that? Love > attempting to “fix” physical “flaws”.

    • Reply
      ECF (@d1xbeth)
      February 10, 2014 at 5:29 pm

      oh my gosh that’s one of the sweetest things I’ve ever read… every girl deserves that!

  • Reply
    Emily
    January 29, 2014 at 8:57 am

    Thank you so much for doing such a beautiful and honest post. I hope the insecure commentators get the opportunity to read this post and have a chance at confronting their own insecurities. You are an inspiration, Cara.

  • Reply
    Jamie
    January 29, 2014 at 9:52 am

    Ok. We don’t know each other but I always feel like I want to be your best friend after every post. 🙂 Just from reading your blog over the last year and watching your video tutorials I have come to admire soooo many of your endearing qualities. You are full of grace and tact!! And you have a really special way of building women up through your words. You are such an inspiration of strength and transparency and honesty which are a talents/gifts!! I’m more and more impressed with you with each post. Thank you for being you!!! Oh and you are gorgeous but that’s obvious! 😉

  • Reply
    Rebecca Bishop
    January 29, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    I’m right with you Cara… jr high was also included in “my glory days”… I was teased for various reasons, but mainly for my looks which included my bushy eyebrows-something I am now grateful to have, but have of course over-plucked over the years since that time… thanks to you I know how to properly fill them in where it’s needed! 😉 I agree that we need to face our insecurities and also people’s negative projections of us face on… Thank you for sharing your confidence, beauty and grace with women all over the world!

  • Reply
    Kelly
    January 29, 2014 at 12:42 pm

    Cara, I have never commented on your blog (which I love) until now. Your honesty is a breath of fresh air. I don’t think there’s a person who will read this post and not be able to relate!

  • Reply
    Melissa
    January 29, 2014 at 1:50 pm

    I am laughing so hard, which I probably shouldn’t be…this post is just hilarious and so relateable. I totally remember the mean things people said to me when I was a kid…one being “llama face!” I began to passionately hate llamas and cringe whenever I heard the word. After reading this I am totally going to embrace that beloved animal 😉 I think I’m going to start writing down all the nice things people say to me and (try to) laugh at the rude ones. I have thought many things about the way you look btw, horse never crossed my mind! Glad you can laugh it off!

  • Reply
    Hannah
    January 29, 2014 at 2:21 pm

    This is too too great.

  • Reply
    Night Owl
    January 29, 2014 at 2:26 pm

    take it from some one who’s dealt with Haters alot girl. Esp on blogger. I dealt with it for a year and half and I still do. the site that mostly does the hate needs to be shut down. and apparently those haters are jealous of hell of your looks and your blog. B/c girl you’re a knock out, beautiful, gorgeous. Ignore them. Things like that will make you stronger. GOD DOESNT GIVE YOU THINGS HE KNOWS YOU CAN’T HANDLE. Horses are beautiful creatures. I love horses.

  • Reply
    Mindy
    January 29, 2014 at 2:39 pm

    You are gorgeous! I know I don’t personally know you, but the way you interact with your readers tells me you are just as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. YouTubers and bloggers have to have such courage to put themselves out there in order to follow their dreams, and I really commend you for sticking with what you love despite any ridiculous comments from haters! You are phenomenal at what you do and a beautiful person to learn from. 🙂

  • Reply
    Margaret Reed
    January 29, 2014 at 2:45 pm

    When I was about the same age, my best friend’s brother said to me “stop looking at me with that Moonface”. What? A Moonface…. What’s a Moonface? So then I looked in the mirror and tried to find everything wrong with my round face. At that age, what people say about your appearance carries much more weight than it should. Anyway, I got to appreciate and love my round (moon) face and wouldn’t trade it in. It’s me! And it looks good.

  • Reply
    Caroline
    January 29, 2014 at 4:30 pm

    i absolutely adore this post. and the picture of the majestic horse picture really adds a special something. and then i tried thinking about why someone might say you have a horse face (because i so dont see it!) but now i think i realize it’s because you have bright white teeth and a huge smile — which somewhat might allude to horses i suppose ?! you’re beautiful regardless!

  • Reply
    Maddie
    January 29, 2014 at 4:45 pm

    You don’t have a horse face at all! And it really bothers me that someone would say that about a child! But thank you so much for this post. Everyone has insecurities and it was really nice to read this post.

  • Reply
    Chelsea
    January 29, 2014 at 5:10 pm

    Umm, if you are a so called “horse face,” I wish I was more horse faced!

  • Reply
    Meme
    January 29, 2014 at 6:46 pm

    Wow, people can be really careless!

    Frankly, the internet would be a lot less happy without that beautiful, joyful & unconcealed smile!! Glad you’re able to rise above such thoughtless negativity.

    Can we all make a pact as females to make girls stronger and build them up instead of inflicting long lasting verbal hurt and doubt? I know it sounds too nicey-nice, but seriously, girls grow up to raise the world, what do we want it to look like?

  • Reply
    Amanda
    January 29, 2014 at 7:41 pm

    You’re gorgeous gal! I know you didn’t post this to get compliments but it’s the honest to goodness truth. People try to put others down ONLY because they feel bad about themselves (misery loves company) FACT. People are made in the image of God, you can find beauty in that alone!

  • Reply
    Samantha
    January 29, 2014 at 8:05 pm

    Frequent reader and never posted. But I had to tell you: so brave of you to share that story! And very well written 🙂 People can be so disgusting. You are beautiful. And I love horses too! 😉

  • Reply
    Angela Bailey Coffman
    January 29, 2014 at 9:09 pm

    Oh my! 5hat must be what a mother says when she is so insecure about herself and her child and their beauty and then sees a really beautiful girl. It makes all these horrible things from her childhood boil up in her and try to take the beautiful one down a notch. Shame on her and shame on the “friend” who repeated it. You definitely do not have a horse face, unless of course that means graceful and strong while still being feminine and beautiful.

  • Reply
    jross428
    January 30, 2014 at 7:05 am

    I read this post yesterday and I think it stuck with my subconscious for a while. I think it’s crazy how just one comment can stick with you, and potentially mold your actions or feelings for years.

    Your post reminded me of a benign comment a “popular girl” (read: I thought she was cooler than me) made about me in middle school. She said I looked completely different with my hair up than with my hair down. Because I thought I looked prettier with my hair down, I thought she meant that I looked ugly with my hair up. This kept me from experimenting with my hair (especially updos) for 10+ years.

    Cheers to you, and all your readers, on the things that make us uniquely beautiful.

  • Reply
    Jess
    January 30, 2014 at 7:13 am

    Yay Cara! You are beautiful. I don’t know you, but from what you have shared publicly, you are beautiful inside and out! Great reminder to both be careful with your words and to let go of useless baggage.

  • Reply
    RetroRuby
    January 30, 2014 at 7:21 am

    It certainly seems from the comments here that most of us carry a similar sore point from our childhoods around with us. I certainly do! And they’re always about things that hardly anyone else notices, but are all we, personally, can see in our mirrors. To get over that insult achilles heel so it no longer bothers you is amazing, Cara! Congratulations. 🙂 I hope I manage to be as strong as you one day!

  • Reply
    Allison
    January 30, 2014 at 9:29 am

    Thank you so much for sharing, Cara. I really wish we could altogether stop commenting on others appearances at that kind of young, impressionable age. When I got to about 8th grade, people starting making comments. Most of them were positive, but it made me somewhat uncomfortable. It continued into high school and it got to the point where if I went a day without some kind of compliment, I started to feel awful about myself. I began to NEED that reassurance. To some it may sound like a silly problem, but I’m 28 & still struggle sometimes. Even though I got good grades & felt like I was a good person, I didn’t feel like I had much value besides my looks. I remember one boyfriend I had just after HS who told me I would be so much better off once I realized people didn’t just like me for what was on the outside. I can finally go out in public with a full face of make up & not feel horribly awkward. I feel for anyone who’s ever struggled at that age.

  • Reply
    Carrie
    January 30, 2014 at 2:00 pm

    Yeah I have a “long” face, just like my mom, and I get very upset when I hear the term “horse face.” Point: you are GORGEOUS 🙂

  • Reply
    Sara
    January 30, 2014 at 3:16 pm

    Oh man I had to comment this. it does but almost doesnt even make me mad that people would say that to you because there are so many people in the world, of course there are going to be plenty that are shitty. You know, what I like most about your blog and what strikes me literally everytime I visit- is that you truly see the beauty thats in every girl and woman. You don’t try to make any of them look a certain way. You bring out what makes THEM gorgeous and boy do you bring it out well. It would do the world a lot of good if more people were like you but it’s nice to know that one’s who aren’t are really of no consequence.

  • Reply
    sarah grace
    January 30, 2014 at 3:46 pm

    Someone called me a rhino when I was in middle school because I have a bump in my nose. It made me feel bad for a long time but I just realize people can be very stupid. You are literally the most gorgeous girl ever, and you’re blessed with such perfect features! I envy you! xox

  • Reply
    maggie
    January 30, 2014 at 4:52 pm

    In Chinese culture this is the year of the horse – a fantastic year for entrepreneurs like you! Horses are beautiful, sophisticated and elegant – looking at your cover photo that’s exactly how you look to me (maybe the mother was secretly jealous of your good looks). Happy Chinese New Year of the Horse! Best of luck with your blog 🙂

  • Reply
    jess
    January 31, 2014 at 8:03 am

    i just fell in love with your blog. I’m a forever follower now! words cannot express how this has impacted my thoughts. i was”jaws” “clown” “chicken legs” i could go on lol. I’m so glad u shared. What a great example u are. and btw u r so pretty!

  • Reply
    Heather
    January 31, 2014 at 10:59 am

    Ok must say I LOVE your site here, and your YouTube vids 🙂
    But really now, it sounds bad but that beeyotch was an old, jealous woman who may have seen her man check you out, or was just super insecure herself..because you do NOT have a ‘horse face’. I think the term is obscene to begin with, and I think in general most all women are pretty but I have seen a couple ugly, long/no cheekbone ‘horse’ish faces. But you are absolutelyyyy gorgeous. When I saw your Vlogs on youtube I thought you were a model giving tips!
    I will close with a quote I read on a funny (but true) ecard-

    Pretty Girls Love Other Pretty girls.
    It’s Y’all Ugly Hoes
    That Gotta Hate!

    #truth
    🙂
    Keep making posts! I am really enjoying tips. Team pretty!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Reply
    Heather
    January 31, 2014 at 11:02 am

  • Reply
    China B.
    January 31, 2014 at 6:08 pm

    God has blessed you with beauty! Be thankful and hold your head high! Her comment was nasty, untrue and probably the fruit of jealousy. Pray for her. I love your blog, btw!

  • Reply
    laurahavemercier
    January 31, 2014 at 9:07 pm

    When I was about the same age my aunt told me I kind of resembled Keira Knightley because I had a longer face like her… Of course all I heard was, “You have a long face.” It haunted me for YEARS. I’m still not fully over it. But this post has definitely made me smile!

  • Reply
    mitchypoo
    January 31, 2014 at 9:13 pm

    Wow Cara, you must realize by all these comments that you are loved and a beautiful person. It’s so unfortunate but sometimes it doesn’t matter how old you are, others can act like they are in grade school and say horrible hurtful things. Sometimes it’s horrible things that we say to ourselves. I think of you as a unique beauty who is showing us how to bring out our true beauty and that is a gift. Thank you!

  • Reply
    Stephanie
    February 1, 2014 at 9:42 pm

    I will 170th everyone by saying that you are gorgeous, on the outside and inside more importantly.
    I love that you see the beauty in everyone, and that you share your talent.
    No you don’t have a ‘horse face’ and beside the point you just prove how amazing you are by using the flippant comment as a way to share with your readers how you have grown.

    You should be proud of yourself, and I am so happy you shared.

  • Reply
    Melissa Ivy
    February 2, 2014 at 8:22 am

    I absolutely loved your blog! If we all looked the same life would be pretty boring. You are a gorgeous girl and anyone who takes the time to put another person down is truly hurting inside and it’s a mere reflection of how badly they feel about themselves. It’s as if they think as long as I point out another’s “flaws,” no one will notice mine.

  • Reply
    Laurie Bishton
    February 3, 2014 at 4:05 am

    Cara, I have never heard horses (my favorite creature) referred to as anything but BEAUTIFUL so you must consider that a backhanded compliment!! Love you and your style and CLASS!

  • Reply
    Faye
    February 3, 2014 at 12:44 pm

    Thank-you for posting that, it really helped me out. For the record – I like your face!!

  • Reply
    Jess
    February 24, 2014 at 3:01 pm

    I’ve had mean girls say the same about me. Loved this post! Thank you!

  • Reply
    Lauren
    July 27, 2015 at 1:43 pm

    I’m glad you decided to share something you’ve overcome. I think you’re beautiful and I admire the way you carry yourself.

    • Reply
      Cara
      July 29, 2015 at 11:07 pm

      THank you so much:)

    Leave a Reply