I really feel like I need to get something off my chest…
It all started with my hair. I just wasn’t used to it being lighter and shorter and it’s been a real battle to keep it from going brassy or looking unhealthy so 9 times out of 10 it just looked bad to me. I felt like.
Fine. I have bad hair. I hate having bad hair. So thoughts of how to remedy the problem persisted.
After a month or two of that, I just started thinking, “I’m not pretty. I’m ______, my ____ is ugly. Bla bla ” (you get the point)
Which makes me feel like I’m a fraud because I say that I find beauty in everyone including myself and here I am just ripping on my face and body relentlessly (mostly in my mind of course because as I am ripping on myself I’m also ripping on myself for ripping on myself because I’m being a total hypocrite and if I talk about it out loud everyone will think “she’s a total hypocrite.”)
It becomes a snow ball effect, now instead of just being ugly I’m also lazy, and annoying, and just all around not good enough at anything.
It seems like, good or bad, when “me” thoughts take over my brain the last person to actually benefit from them is… me.
It was just today, when you all took the time to think about something so silly as my hair and tell me your opinion (often followed by a sweet compliment) I realized what I needed to do to get out of the rut i’d found myself in, and it doesn’t have anything to do with my hair.
It’s about putting my focus back onto others. Feeling the gratitude I have for them and using more of my time to serve them.
Or my amazing husband.
Or my family
Or someone who looks sad and needs some cheering up
It’s amazing how much better I feel just thinking about those things.
And when I’m swallowed up in gratitude the other takes care of itself.
I’m so grateful for that reminder.
“Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those who are obsessed with themselves; the happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others…By and large, I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of ourselves.” President Gordon B. Hinckley