My Life

You guys. Part 2.

I really feel like I need to get something off my chest…

It all started with my hair. I just wasn’t used to it being lighter and shorter and it’s been a real battle to keep it from going brassy or looking unhealthy so 9 times out of 10 it just looked bad to me. I felt like.
Fine. I have bad hair. I hate having bad hair. So thoughts of how to remedy the problem persisted.

After a month or two of that, I just started thinking, “I’m not pretty. I’m ______, my ____ is ugly. Bla bla ” (you get the point)
Which makes me feel like I’m a fraud because I say that I find beauty in everyone including myself and here I am just ripping on my face and body relentlessly (mostly in my mind of course because as I am ripping on myself I’m also ripping on myself for ripping on myself because I’m being a total hypocrite and if I talk about it out loud everyone will think “she’s a total hypocrite.”)
It becomes a snow ball effect, now instead of just being ugly I’m also lazy, and annoying, and just all around not good enough at anything.

It seems like, good or bad, when “me” thoughts take over my brain the last person to actually benefit from them is… me.
It was just today, when you all took the time to think about something so silly as my hair and tell me your opinion (often followed by a sweet compliment) I realized what I needed to do to get out of the rut i’d found myself in, and it doesn’t have anything to do with my hair.
It’s about putting my focus back onto others. Feeling the gratitude I have for them and using more of my time to serve them.
Like you.
Or my amazing husband.
Or Crush
Or my family
Or someone who looks sad and needs some cheering up
It’s amazing how much better I feel just thinking about those things.
And when I’m swallowed up in gratitude the other takes care of itself.
I’m so grateful for that reminder.

“Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those who are obsessed with themselves; the happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others...By and large, I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of ourselves.”   President Gordon B. Hinckley

“Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those who are obsessed with themselves; the happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others…By and large, I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of ourselves.” President Gordon B. Hinckley

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154 Comments

  • Reply
    Miss Viola Swamp (@imaqt209421)
    June 21, 2013 at 4:27 am

    🙂

  • Reply
    Ashley Kennedy
    June 21, 2013 at 4:35 am

    Wow! This is so true. This is the kind of reminder I needed. I get so swept up in working and cleaning and cooking that I forget! You are gorgeous, regardless of your hair color.

  • Reply
    Rebecca
    June 21, 2013 at 4:38 am

    You are phenomonally beautiful and SO inspiring. It’s really nice to hear that even gorgeous, successful people like you have down days too! We’re all human!

  • Reply
    Allison
    June 21, 2013 at 4:44 am

    Miss Cara, you ARE beautiful…inside and out….do not listen to the voice of the enemy. God bless!

  • Reply
    Tegan
    June 21, 2013 at 4:51 am

    I’ve been considering dying my hair darker after being blonde, very blonde and not feeling myself. I always felt too brassy and was constantly toning and correcting my colour which was not only time consuming but quite expensive. I started to hate my hair and feel very ‘unpretty’. Today i had a prebooked hair appointment to get my roots done and after a little further inspiration from reading your post I dyed my hair darker, not brunette but a much darker blonde and I could not be happier! I feel like myself again. So thank you 🙂
    I thoroughly enjoy reading your posts and always learn something new and interesting.

  • Reply
    Lindsay
    June 21, 2013 at 4:59 am

    I’ve felt the same exact way! I’m really enjoying your honesty. Love the blog!!! Thanks for sharing. So what’d you do about your “bad hair”?

  • Reply
    Daniella
    June 21, 2013 at 5:07 am

    The battle against brass is indeed exhausting! I have the Roux mousse on the way to try but will really embrace my brunette self when I return to it!
    Thanks for all the great tips!

  • Reply
    Gillian
    June 21, 2013 at 5:08 am

    Perfect quote and the photo of the gorgeous Gordan.B Hinchley, to end a great post. Thanks Cara! I think you’re beautiful whatever colour hair you have

  • Reply
    Jenni
    June 21, 2013 at 5:16 am

    I love keepin’ it real posts on blogs!:). The truth is, if you didn’t have moments like you described THEN you would be a fraud, cause we all have them! I thank you for sharing it because man, that hair business can take you down can’t it?! That is actually how I found your blog. Over tears, Ben & Jerry’s and a really bad hair cut! I was desperate to find ways to grow it out and there you were!:). I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your honesty! One of my favorite posts:).

  • Reply
    Anna
    June 21, 2013 at 5:21 am

    Well that’s a good way to start my day! I have the same inner struggle all the time (not good enough at this and that, blah blah blah). I think one of the reasons why we all like you so dang much is because we can see you inner light and beauty. Ya, you are good at makeup, have a killer body, and good hair in any color, but it’s YOU we all love and adore. Follow our beloved President Hinckley and get your service on today:)

  • Reply
    Tarynn
    June 21, 2013 at 5:26 am

    I really dig the blonde, it’s so fun, beachy and fresh and of course pretty! I of course love the dark, but the blonde is so pretty too! I have an idea, wait to dye your hair back dark around the time u would need to go in for blonde color maintenance, push it out as far as u can though to give your hair a “dying” break to give it time to strengthen?? Don’t be so hard on yourself 😉 your gorg!

  • Reply
    lola
    June 21, 2013 at 5:27 am

    I just love you and your blog! I don’t follow many blogs, but yours is one I look forward to reading. I love how down to earth you are and how you make everyone feel like they can be beautiful. Plus, your make-up tips ROCK! Don’t doubt yourself. You are the bomb. 🙂

  • Reply
    Risa
    June 21, 2013 at 5:33 am

    You are badass in my book … You tell the truth and I love it! I swear your recent hair blogs are exactly what I’m feeling… Same exact days you post them … Crazy! BTW, Thank you for all the celebrity makeup tutorials … Love them !!!

  • Reply
    kk
    June 21, 2013 at 5:47 am

    beautifully put! rock on sista, Im a follower for life, pretty sure if you recommended that I put chicken poop on my eyelids for a beauty regimen, I would. 😉 You’re awesome, inside and out!

  • Reply
    Rebecca
    June 21, 2013 at 5:49 am

    You are human. And an amazing one at that!

  • Reply
    Meegan
    June 21, 2013 at 6:00 am

    Thank you for the post. Everyone needs a reminder. Love that man:)

  • Reply
    Harper
    June 21, 2013 at 6:02 am

    Such a good reminder for all of us. Personally, you’re the most beautiful person I “know”, and reading your words tells me you’re just as beautiful on the inside. Thanks for being a daily inspiration in more ways than one! xoxo Harper

  • Reply
    kate
    June 21, 2013 at 6:11 am

    everyone goes through a rut sometimes! i have always had long hair and decided to cut it off short a couple years ago…and it was a BAD haircut! so i’ve been struggling with it and growing it out… its just hard to not feel like YOURSELF. and when you’re in that rut it doesnt really matter what people tell you but ill say it anyway… youre so beautiful!! on the inside & out 🙂 good luck on your journey to “getting back on track”!

  • Reply
    Katie
    June 21, 2013 at 6:15 am

    This was great and exactly what I needed to hear!!!

  • Reply
    Kathleen
    June 21, 2013 at 6:16 am

    I just like you more and more all the time. LOVE this quote. Thanks Cara!

  • Reply
    Charlene Maugeri
    June 21, 2013 at 6:17 am

    Cara! You are beautiful! I have always admired your ability to see the beauty in everyone and help them to see it and give them confidence. I think that it is simply human to fall into the trap of thinking only of ourselves at times and to not like our appearance. I am just glad you have recognized this and gotten back on the path of loving yourself and helping others which you are so good at! And I appreciate you sharing for those of us who can relate and maybe needed a little reminder!
    <3 Charlene

  • Reply
    Jem
    June 21, 2013 at 6:29 am

    Thank you, I needed this. The quote is fantastic and something to live by!

  • Reply
    Corinne Mosdell
    June 21, 2013 at 6:32 am

    Thanks mama for reminding me to see the good!! Love you and hope you got my message!! Xoxo

  • Reply
    Angi
    June 21, 2013 at 6:40 am

    I miss Him so much!! Thanks for this uplifting pic and thought!! I’m a hair stylist and I actually love the fact that hair can make such a huge difference in ones confidence level. I didn’t read yesterday’s replies but I love your hair both ways. I do think you are definitely more striking as a brunette, and your beautiful eyes POP like crazy when your hair is dark. Who cares if you just barely colored it. Go with your gut!! XOXO PS I’ve been missing your video tutorials lately 🙂 does this have anything to do with the hair color 🙂

  • Reply
    Diana
    June 21, 2013 at 6:40 am

    Aw Cara! I completely understand how you feel. It ok and perfectly normal to get caught up with yourself every once in awhile. If you aren’t happy with the way you look, it might not be the most important thing in the world, but it can still have a negative impact on your functioning. If you really feel your best as a brunette, then go for it! You have to be happy and feel beautiful, regardless of what other people think. I still stand by what I said the other day- you look absolutely stunning no matter what. You don’t even need a drop of makeup to look like a super model! A few years ago, I had dark hair and cut it super short- I had a bob when I’m used to having almost waist-length hair. Growing it out was the most painful thing ever, and I was constantly unhappy. These things happen and that’s how you learn what works and what doesn’t!
    xxxx

  • Reply
    Jessie
    June 21, 2013 at 6:41 am

    Dear Cara, I am a reader from Germany and have never commented before, although I LOVE your blog!!
    But today I feel it is neccessary because: YOU ARE GORGEOUS! Everything about you is bright and shining from the inside out and so I found myself often reading your blog thinking that you are truly an inspiration! I follow you also on instagramm and I think you have the most amazing hair -both blonde and dark!
    If you ever feel this way, read your comments on here on how others see you- you are a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful woman inside & out!
    Thank you for being so honest, for being so uplifting and for being yourself and sharing your secrets with us.
    God bless!

  • Reply
    [email protected][kreyv]
    June 21, 2013 at 6:47 am

    Cara, you don’t know how many times I go through this exact same cycle! (What is our problem as women?!) I work with the Primary at our church, and the theme this year is I am a Child of God. As adults, we all spend so much time making sure our children know how special they are, that we often forget to tell ourselves. I have a three year old daughter, and if she ever thought of herself the way I sometimes think of myself, I would be absolutely devastated. That right there is my reminder of how God feels when we beat ourselves up.

    Thanks for being honest on this post, because I can guarantee, every other girl out there goes through the exact same thing, and every other girl out there needs the exact same reminder! P.S. You are beautiful, inside and out. Period.

  • Reply
    Danyella Gutierrez
    June 21, 2013 at 6:54 am

    Wow, Cara, I have indeed needed this. We all get on the “Debbie Downer train” once in a while. It’s nice to hear such truth spoken in a way that helps us realize we ALL think of ourselves a little *too* much. Thank you for being wonderful, beautiful, lovely, honest & raw-even though you totally don’t have to be. You could fake it all, and just let us see you as this perfectly put together person who always has things under control. But, you’re not. You’re human, and I think that’s why we all love you so much! You’re beautiful inside AND out!

  • Reply
    Rachel
    June 21, 2013 at 6:55 am

    This is going to be a ridiculously long comment, but I hope it helps. Last summer, I was bored with what I looked like, so I dyed my hair. I’m a brunette with naturally curly hair. I went to an auburn color, but would wait 8 weeks between dyes, so it would go from auburn to a lighter coppery color with some roots showing through (I was too cheap to go every 4-6 weeks). When I first became a redhead, I couldn’t look people in the eye. I felt like my hair was a ridiculous color, and that everyone noticed it. After a while, I could finally act like something I already knew deep down: no one else realized my hair color. No one looked at me and thought “OMG!! Did you see that girl? The one with the red hair?” By the time Christmas rolled around, I had enjoyed my red hair, but decided it was time to go native again. See, I’m a quarter Hawaiian, but being 3/4 quarter, I’m pale enough that my dark curly hair is the only way that people would know. So, I dyed my hair back to a deep brown. It was hard when people asked, “What happened to your hair?” because the long explanation was this: I had finally conquered my fear of having a physical feature that made people look at me. So now, I wanted to get comfortable with people looking at the real me. I was tired of feeling like I was lying to people when they complimented my hair. And I was tired of feeling like I had lost a part of me that connected me to my ancestors. In my brother’s wedding pictures, I’m the only one with red hair. In the last six months, I haven’t looked back with longing or regret. I enjoyed being a red head, but I’m so glad to really be me again. I care more about my hair being healthy than everyone else thinking that my hair is perfect. Sometimes, I’ll brush my hair out until it’s a full-on afro. I don’t care if people think it’s funny, because it’s mine. This texture and color is awesome and beautiful, because it’s mine.

    Long story short, we all have our ideal picture of ourselves in our mind’s eye. In mine, I’m 120 pounds and 6 feet tall. In yours, you’re brunette. That’s okay. Don’t feel like you have to rush back in forth, and keep in mind your hair’s health. You already bleached it lighter, so give it time to recover before you take it back. And don’t feel like you have to make a decision before the magazine shoot. It’s Allure – they could make you look attractive with a potato sack on your head. Remember that while you’re looking at the pictures asking “Why did my _____ look ugly?” every magazine reader will be saying, “That’s the woman who taught me how to look as good as I feel.”

    • Reply
      Tish
      June 21, 2013 at 7:37 am

      Great comment Rachel! I hope Cara takes it to heart. She is truly uplifting so many women.

    • Reply
      afullpod
      June 24, 2013 at 4:59 pm

      Thank you for taking the time to write this. I loved the original article… and am loving the comments just as much!

  • Reply
    Logan
    June 21, 2013 at 6:56 am

    Cara,
    I just recently found your blog and am glad to read your post today. Thank you for your honesty as I think this is something a lot of us struggle with. Your post encourages me and reminds me to refocus my thoughts to making life better for others rather than always thinking about myself.

    Have a happy day 🙂
    -Encouraged reader

  • Reply
    Becca
    June 21, 2013 at 7:08 am

    You are gorge. Brassy hair or not (which, btw, I thought your blonde hair was pretty, but I know it’s all about feeling comfortable in your own skin). And you are beautiful on the inside too. 🙂 Thanks for the reminder to direct our energy outwards in the service of others. Need to write that quote on my mirror!

  • Reply
    Emma
    June 21, 2013 at 7:14 am

    I feel your pain.

    You are so intelligent about this whole thing though. You’ve turned it around. So many women harp on their bodies and hair and style and don’t even attempt to touchI feel your pain.

    You are so intelligent about this whole thing though. You’ve turned it around. So many women harp on their bodies and hair and style and don’t even attempt to touch on what you’ve just realized.

    And you are SO right.

    Yesterday, I went to get my hair done. As a blonde since forever (not without a few “Hmm, maybe dark hair would make me look like Minka Kelly!” tragedies), I found myself tired of streaky highlights and dry ends. I thought I’d give ombre a try (yes, I know this would still make my ends dry, but hey, I wanted to get one of my annoyances out of the way: roots). I actually showed the stylist a photo of YOU and told her I liked the colors and tone, blah blah blah. I thought we had an understanding. I went over the game plan with her twenty times.

    I came out of the salon with dark brown roots and green-ish ends. Half-blow dried hair and a nasty color/shampoo combo still soaking the hair at the nape of my neck.

    $127.13 of my hard earned dollars down the drain.

    I feel so…ugly.

    After sympathetically watching me reach for my baseball cap this morning to run errands, my mom told me to come read your pose (we both love you and read your blog all the time!). To say this has helped would be an understatement. You are right; all of us should put our hearts into others. Not solely into ourselves. And yet we should still love and apprecitate our faces, hair, and bodies. We only get one of each.
    on what you’ve just realized.

    And you are SO right.

    Yesterday, I went to get my hair done. As a blonde since forever (not without a few “Hmm, maybe dark hair would make me look like Minka Kelly!” tragedies), I found myself tired of streaky highlights and dry ends. I thought I’d give ombre a try (yes, I know this would still make my ends dry, but hey, I wanted to get one of my annoyances out of the way: roots). I actually showed the stylist a photo of YOU and told her I liked the colors and tone, blah blah blah. I thought we had an understanding. I went over the game plan with her twenty times.

    I came out of the salon with dark brown roots and green-ish ends. Half-blow dried hair and a nasty color/shampoo combo still soaking the hair at the nape of my neck.

    $127.13 of my hard earned dollars down the drain.

    I feel so…ugly.

    After sympathetically watching me reach for my baseball cap this morning to run errands, my mom told me to come read your pose (we both love you and read your blog all the time!). To say this has helped would be an understatement. You are right; all of us should put our hearts into others. Not solely into ourselves. And yet we should still love and apprecitate our faces, hair, and bodies. We only get one of each.

    I don’t know if you’ll ever get to reading this, but I hope you know I’m feeling the same or similar emotions. And I think you’re awesome, I really do.

    Stay beautiful.

  • Reply
    Jenny
    June 21, 2013 at 7:15 am

    Cara,
    What a great way to put a spiritual spin on things. The words of the prophets are always uplifting. Makes you think more about the big pictures. You are an amazing, beautiful, gorgeous woman and it shows both inside and out. What you do for others and the glow you obviously carry about yourself is nothing short of extraordinary. You definitely are a person that can pull off ANY hair color. I bet you’d look amazing with even red hair. 🙂

  • Reply
    Melanie
    June 21, 2013 at 7:16 am

    I love that I can feel how good a person you are through my computer screen. How you make me laugh all the time, how totally UN-self-centered you are. You’re amazing Cara, and you inspire me to be a better person! xx

  • Reply
    Deegan
    June 21, 2013 at 7:22 am

    Cara you are beautiful no matter what your hair color. I have been blonde, red, blonde, red, blonde over and over but I have come to find that it is what ever makes you happy and hair color is FUN, don’t let it take up too much. Inside you are a beautiful person (and outside too) and I know that is what comes across. We all have moment of not feeling pretty or our best but I think that just means channeling your energy into something else and then you do feel prettier.

  • Reply
    Chessa
    June 21, 2013 at 7:39 am

    Cara thank you for being so open and honest about your feelings. We have all experienced what you have at some point or another, but I LOVE how you were able to come back around and realize that the best way we can ALL feel good about ourselves is by displaying acts of kindness to others.. You are precious inside and out…never change!

  • Reply
    Lindsay
    June 21, 2013 at 7:48 am

    You keep your blog real and I love it. You are genuine and I love reading all your posts. Please don’t ever stop writing.

  • Reply
    Jessi
    June 21, 2013 at 7:48 am

    Well spoken. Thanks for sharing and touching my heart this morning. I love Hinckley. It’s not about lifting ourselves, it’s about lifting others. That is when we will find peace and satisfaction.
    “If you want to feel good, do good”

  • Reply
    meghansilva
    June 21, 2013 at 8:02 am

    I love how you getting yourself out of the rut through gratitude and loving others , so inspiring.

    Meghan Silva’s Blog

  • Reply
    Sarah W.
    June 21, 2013 at 8:02 am

    you are beautiful because you see the beauty in others, and help them see it too! You have to understand how valuable that is in a world where women are faced with so many insecurities because of the super high expectations we feel like we have to measure up to. Thank you for all you honest posts! I love them, all of them! You have helped me see the beauty in myself, and I have never even had an actual conversation with you. You showed me that my makeup can look just as good as any old magazine model at half the cost. Because of your highlighting and contouring post, I have learned to not only take better care of my skin, but of myself as a whole. You are a beautiful light in a world that sometimes seems overwhelmed with darkness. We all have our bad days, and even you get to have them! That doesn’t make you a hypocrite, it makes you normal!

  • Reply
    Sara Goff
    June 21, 2013 at 8:25 am

    Love this!!!! I know exactly what you mean :D.

  • Reply
    Lorena
    June 21, 2013 at 8:34 am

    It’s very humbling to admit when you feel like you’ve been selfish with your thoughts and that is what keeps you from staying that way. You are on here (Allures blogger of the year!!) helping many people daily with your beauty advice and your generous comments about others beauty in your eyes, that is selfless and giving so don’t get caught up in the bad thoughts. We all have those moments and not to get too preachy on you but you are a child of God and that alone is enough to make anyone feel like a million bucks.

  • Reply
    Holly
    June 21, 2013 at 8:39 am

    I think it’s totally normal to feel like this sometimes! I know I have & I’m sure we all do! What makes you great is that you were able to snap out of it, open up about it, and push on! You are helping all of your readers by your honesty and thoughtful quotes! And I think your beautiful either way, light or dark- but when you say you feel better dark- there is your answer! Beauty comes from within, and confidence trumps ALL! 😉

  • Reply
    Jane Daly (@daly_beauty)
    June 21, 2013 at 8:46 am

    Holy moly. Did I ever need to read this today. Lovely & thank you xo

  • Reply
    Kristin
    June 21, 2013 at 8:59 am

    I sooooooo needed to hear this today! I have been struggling to lose weight for quite a while now, and that combined with damaged hair, being a stay at home mom to two little boys (yeah I don’t get to shower as much as I’d like lol), means I have ALOT of days where I get very down on myself. It’s so good to know I’m not alone, and even women who I see and go “wow she’s perfect” (like you

  • Reply
    Kristin
    June 21, 2013 at 9:01 am

    The rest of my comment got cut off lol. Thank you so much for this post. You are beautiful, intelligent, creative and kind. Love your honesty and your blog ❤

  • Reply
    Fanny
    June 21, 2013 at 9:01 am

    Dear Cara, I have felt / feel the same way lately and the conclusion of this post was just what I needed to hear! Thank you, you are so inspiring and beautiful both inside & outside. Hugs!

  • Reply
    Brittany
    June 21, 2013 at 9:02 am

    Cara – we all feels this way from time to time! I have always had super blonde hair because, like you, I have a naturally mousy dirty blonde hue. Dark washes me out, but I haven’t been able to maintain the highlights with my schedule. I recently went to a darker dirty blonde and cried on the inside. It has been amazing for maintenance, and I get lots of compliments (probably people grateful for a change!), but I don’t feel like myself. I have this battle with myself often, and I think our internal battles are by far the most intense. However, you do look gorgeous either way, but it’s important that you feel like you. I think you should go dark for your photo shoot. You’ll want to look like “yourself”. Plus, you will want people to recognize you once they start hounding your blog and you’ve finally darkened back up. Thanks for the post – I definitely needed the pep talk! xo

  • Reply
    Lorie
    June 21, 2013 at 9:23 am

    Cara, thanks for sharing and being so honest! It’s take courage to share your insecurities so openly. We are all human and we all have these moments. A long time ago I cut my hair short, a little longer than a pixie cut. I wanted to try something different. When I arrived home my ex husband laughed at me. My kids were little and so they reacted to him and laughed too. That did very little for my normally okay self confidence. Growing it out was tough, but I survived!

    Most recently right before I discovered your blog I had my eyebrows tattooed. I thought about it for years and was too afraid to do it. I was never good with my eyebrows. I finally did it. The first week they were a bit swollen and dark. All I saw were the imperfections! I thought I had made a huge mistake. That was a tough week for me! After the darkness and swelling went down, I got used to it. Sometimes when we get fixated on our beauty misfortunes life can appear miserable. It’s okay to feel that way. As long as we can get past that and move on. Thanks for sharing your insecurities, you just became much more real to connect with.

  • Reply
    teeokeefe
    June 21, 2013 at 9:38 am

    amen, I’m glad you figured that out on your own. I refrained from commenting about your hair because I like you and your blog, but I thought it was a prime example of “first world problems” and superficial – and I have NEVER sensed that from your blog. I’m glad you realize that you have so much to be grateful for and that the fact that you EVEN have hair – I have known people in chemo with none, is a blessing. You are fortunate to have this outlet to reach so many people – and with that privilege comes responsibility
    . And yes, makeup and hair isn’t rocket science, but it makes us feel better about ourselves, and is fun – if we learn from yesterday’s post, it is what you wrote today in reflection and that we are all beautiful and our appearance is NOT the most important thing there is 🙂 You have a gift (besides hair and makeup) for writing about very human moments and sharing them. I do think you use your space responsibly. You are courageous in revealing aspects of yourself that everyone can identify with. As long as you keep reflecting on our (and I say our because you’re not the only one obsessing over these things) and sharing those reflections, you will continue to be more than a gal with amazing makeup skills for all your readers. THANKS for sharing!

  • Reply
    Sue
    June 21, 2013 at 10:06 am

    Such a great reminder! Though we’re all entitled to a “Wah! I’m having a fat, bad hair, break out, crappy all around” day pity fest from time to time, it’s a great reminder not to let yourself wallow (I’ve been there plenty of times!) and focus on all the good stuff/ pray for or help the people who don’t have it as good.
    P.S. I’m not Mormon, but Gordon B. Hinckley seems like a wise man–always very inspiring.

  • Reply
    Elena
    June 21, 2013 at 10:08 am

    Amen. Just Amen.

  • Reply
    Lidia
    June 21, 2013 at 10:13 am

    What a great post! Glad to hear your new perspective and I fully agree with it, the way we treat others is the best way to feeling confident, content and beautiful with ourselves. With that said, if you feel more beautiful with your darker hair, go and dye your hair back before you regret your magazine shoot. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that! We all experiment with our hair and ultimately we usually go back to what makes us feel our best. If having dark hair makes it easier to see your own beauty, then don’t hesitate for a second. Nothing wrong with wanting to feel confident. Though, may I suggest a rich chocolate brown instead of black? Still dark but a bit less “harsh” and little different than what you used to have with all the mystique and shine of the dark hair.

  • Reply
    Jessaying
    June 21, 2013 at 10:21 am

    Cara, I am always so entranced by your honesty, your beauty, and your kind heart. That you would ever be self conscious about your appearance is baffling to me. You have a very striking, exotic beauty, and I’ve always believed that what makes you different makes you beautiful. You have a light that shines from the inside out, and I think that’s the definition of real beauty.

    When it comes to the hair, I think you’re one of those lucky chameleons who looks good with any hair color, but I say do what you makes you feel best. That’s pretty much my policy on all things beauty. Rules are so vanilla.

    XOXO

  • Reply
    Lindsey
    June 21, 2013 at 10:31 am

    Love that quote :). If you are feeling brunette do it! It’s a great look for you.

  • Reply
    Whovian Gran
    June 21, 2013 at 10:31 am

    Very wise words. You perform a great service for those of us who need an uplift in our appearance or mood. Thank you for all you do. I am grateful.

  • Reply
    Janna
    June 21, 2013 at 10:31 am

    Thank you for sharing one of my favorite quotes from sweet Gordon B. Hinckley. It reminds me of an anonymous quote, “the more you think about yourself, the less happy you will be.” So true, right!?! Anyways, as always, thank you for your honesty and inspiration. Oh and ps- last night I hosted girls night and two friends totally used your HAC video and did an amazing makeover! Good stuff.

  • Reply
    Melin
    June 21, 2013 at 10:46 am

    You are awesome! Thank you for sharing your beauty advice, your humor, your wit and mostly your amazing heart.

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    Tracy
    June 21, 2013 at 10:51 am

    That is an awesome quote and oh so TRUE! I am going to steal it ok??!! You are gorgeous! I love your Blog and think that all these great things are happening to you, because you have helped alot of girls feel better about themselves… Keep your head high beautiful!

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    Althea
    June 21, 2013 at 11:32 am

    Well now Cara. Here’s the deal from me. I stumbled upon your site and was facinated with your ability to enhance us females. I immediately saw how kind and uplifting “you” were. Of course there are other sites I have visited and seen other artists share but I always come back to you (where I feel at home). What we are truly saying when we give you compliments is that “we love you”. I am over 60 years old and have to be realistic on how much your help can give me in the make-up department so I’m not following you for the makeup tips as much as following you because I just plain-oh LIKE YOU! A little soul searching is good from time to time. When you come to my mind, I see inner beauty.

  • Reply
    Fran Oropeza
    June 21, 2013 at 11:45 am

    Cara, all I can say is wow! I can’t believe I stumbled upon this post today as I am about to go out the door to get my hair hi-lighted. I am a natural brunette but have fought the good fight against dark hair my entire adult life. I’ve had enough bleach on my head then anyone should admit to! I have recently gone back to my natural brunette color but have been feeling really down and depressed, so my natural instinct is to get hi-lights to feel better. I am so glad I read this post today. I am going to stay brunette and let my natural and inner beauty shine through. Thank you for your positivity, wisdom, and all around awesomeness!

  • Reply
    Liz
    June 21, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    One of the reasons this is my favorite (really only) beauty blog! And Cara, you’re gorgeous! We all have things we’re not happy with about ourselves (currently mine is eyebrows!) but we try to not obsess over it. So hard sometimes.

  • Reply
    Kassie
    June 21, 2013 at 12:16 pm

    I agree I am the same way. I am so introverted and self conscious that I tend to over analyze myself I think. But I feel I care for others more than myself, I’ve always been told. But in my head I feel selfish lol I love that quote! I’m gonna try and remember it because I get down on myself alot. Thanks for keeping it real girl! I honestly think you are gorgeous in and out!!

  • Reply
    kim
    June 21, 2013 at 12:28 pm

    🙂

  • Reply
    Rebecca Bishop
    June 21, 2013 at 12:36 pm

    What good thoughts and even better reminders you just shared! Thank you for realizing your beauty :). I too, have found that focusing on others and being less “me” centered really helps shape my happiness and my thought-life. Our thoughts determine our actions, and often if we let them, our thoughts are the things that need changing. Good thoughts are always followed by good actions. You are loved and admired, dear Cara.

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    Jennie
    June 21, 2013 at 12:37 pm

    What a great quote to remind yourself of what is important in life for happiness for oneself and other. Thanks.

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    missunderstoodme
    June 21, 2013 at 12:50 pm

    A great reminder that beauty is not always skin deep.

    • Reply
      Claire
      June 21, 2013 at 1:04 pm

      If I ever needed this post it was today, I’ve been feeling similarly this week. I loved the quote and it reminded me of the bigger picture that we get distracted from sometimes. ❤

  • Reply
    Kelsey B.
    June 21, 2013 at 1:14 pm

    Thank you so much for this, Cara. I needed to hear it; I was really touched. I love your blog, btw.

  • Reply
    Katherine
    June 21, 2013 at 1:19 pm

    Kara, thank you so much for this post-It really hit home for me..I am also struggling with my hair color, not sure how I feel about it, etc. but reading this post and the beautiful quote left me inspired. Thank you for your awesome posts!

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    Katherine
    June 21, 2013 at 1:20 pm

    Edit:Cara not Kara!!! Sorry!!

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    Kat
    June 21, 2013 at 2:30 pm

    So awesome! Thank you for reminding us of what is really important! Whats inside is what makes a person truly beautiful.

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    Leta
    June 21, 2013 at 3:22 pm

    Cara you have proven what a beautiful person you are, your fabulousness shines !Thank-you for your honesty and showing us all what is truly important at the end of everyday! Hugs Leta

  • Reply
    Mel
    June 21, 2013 at 3:29 pm

    Oh cara! We all have times when we feel like that. I often say that I have accepted the way I look & I’m comfortable with who I am. But I still have those days where I question it. Just think how short life is, why are we bothering worrying about it when we lead amazing lives and are loved by our amazing friends & family. We really can’t be all that bad if life is so good to us!

  • Reply
    Ro
    June 21, 2013 at 4:31 pm

    Honestly Cara, you are wonderful.

  • Reply
    Lindsay
    June 21, 2013 at 10:07 pm

    I needed this today… I went blonde too around the same time and have battled with brassiness, cutting it off, losing it after having a baby, grown out bangs that look like a mullet… I could go on and on. But I also need to remember that there’s people who don’t have hair, people who don’t have access to things I am, and it’s not really THAT bad 🙂 you look GREAT as a blonde… and hey, it’s just hair right?!

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    Viv
    June 21, 2013 at 10:17 pm

    Hair does not make you who you are. Your hair (or makeup) does not define you. You are beautiful. I also see your beauty from within. You are kind with your words and you use your talent to make other women look and feel their best. I’ve seen other “beautiful” beauty bloggers who are nasty to others. No matter how they look outside, I just see how ugly they really are.

  • Reply
    butter21
    June 22, 2013 at 7:35 am

    good to know even the prettiest girls get in ruts too 😉

  • Reply
    kathyemma
    June 22, 2013 at 9:33 am

    I really appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. What you just wrote about is every girl and women’s battle. You just wrote a great description of the script that so often times invades my brain! And your prescription IS the remedy. The bible calls it renewing your mind! 🙂

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    Chelsea
    June 22, 2013 at 11:09 am

    This is so awesome. Thank you. I just started following your blog and I LOVE it. You are SO helpful you have no idea.

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    Sarah
    June 22, 2013 at 5:49 pm

    Thank you for this Cara, you’re the best

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    AmandaR
    June 22, 2013 at 5:57 pm

    Great post – I’m thankful for your honesty and sharing that honesty so bravely (add ‘brave’ to your toolbox!) on the Internet. ‘Me’ thoughts are powerful, and we all have them. Think positive – you are beautiful.

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    Bellashoot Bellas
    June 22, 2013 at 6:47 pm

    Beautiful article, so touching! Thank you for being so transparent 🙂

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    Anna
    June 22, 2013 at 8:49 pm

    Love it! Thank you!

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    kim
    June 22, 2013 at 9:12 pm

    What a great reminder!

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    Taylor Anderson
    June 23, 2013 at 12:55 pm

    You are so inspiring. And REAL! Love your blog and all that you stand for.

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    Angela Bailey Coffman
    June 23, 2013 at 6:11 pm

    I love this. Thank you for the reminder. Reminds me of this song: “I want to be a window to His love, so when you look at me you will see Him. I want to be so pure and clear that you won’t even know I’m here. ’cause His love will shine brightly through me.” Julie de Azevedo

  • Reply
    Jessica
    June 23, 2013 at 7:06 pm

    I was feeling the exact same way right before I started reading your blog. I’ve been following for about a week now, and have truly been inspired and encouraged by reading what you have written. Thank you for the encouraging words. For seeing beauty in every individual. I have a new found confidence. Don’t be hard on your self. You are beautiful! And I’m sure your hubby thinks so too (; cause that’s all that matters right? xx

  • Reply
    Lauren
    June 23, 2013 at 10:00 pm

    Girl, I love how real you keep it on your blog. You’re incredible.

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    Kailee
    June 23, 2013 at 10:42 pm

    Love this. Thanks for the reminder.

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    Nury
    June 24, 2013 at 5:52 am

    Amen to this post, it doesn’t make you a ‘hypocrite’ for expressing how you feel at times, it only makes you human, like the rest of us, and that, is O.K. 🙂
    You’re beautiful, for realizing that, and for reminding us too, to keep our focus on others instead of ourselves,- ’cause that is where you really find beauty, in others, and within yourself.
    That is exactly how I felt this morning, and, I am glad to find your post because, it gave me a wake up slap in the face, in a positive way, and I thank you for that!

  • Reply
    Kayleigh
    June 24, 2013 at 7:28 am

    Hi Cara! I am looking for a post and I was hoping you could help me (can’t find it!) It was about your friend’s makeup tips and tricks… she was a cute blonde girl with a cute boyfriend. I remember she mentioned using Strivectin.

    Also, I love this post, but then again, I love all of them. It’s why you’re my favorite 🙂

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    Kendra
    June 24, 2013 at 8:07 am

    Words of wisdom in a culture that’s constantly telling us we need to focus more on ourselves and not burden ourselves with serving others! You have my gratitude for being transparent and sharing this awesome post 🙂

  • Reply
    Shay
    June 24, 2013 at 8:45 am

    I know this is so off topic but I always wondered/hoped you were LDS and I’m happy to see that you are!! Yay!!!

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    Jenna
    June 24, 2013 at 12:03 pm

    A quote from a great man with white hair, the inescapable color for us all.

  • Reply
    Hayley
    June 24, 2013 at 1:27 pm

    Thank you for your post. That was something I needed to read to remind myself to stop my own pity me party. A little off subject but oh well, I need help. Its about my eyes. I love my eyes because they are so unique but I get a little self conscious about them. I have one blue eye and one green eye. Not only that, my green eye’s pupil drops and it looks somewhat of a cat eye, which has become a nickname of mine ever since I could remember. The problem is depending on my makeup or even what I wear, it can make my green eye bright and my cat-eye to look a little freaky. I’m having trouble figuring out what to do about makeup. As in, do I do it based on my blue eye or my green eye? Any advise would be helpful. By the way, I love your website. My sister/your friend Lindsay introduced me to it, and I cant get enough of it. Thank you again for your posts they have been helpful.

  • Reply
    afullpod
    June 24, 2013 at 5:02 pm

    THANK YOU for being REAL!!! You have been a great inspiration for that very reason 🙂 Carry on!!!

  • Reply
    Michele
    June 24, 2013 at 5:39 pm

    This post was one of your best! I have read it twice. Its is exactly how I feel so many times. Thanks

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    Jamie Hubbard
    June 24, 2013 at 8:06 pm

    I just wish you lived in DFW so we could hang out…and so you could do my makeup 🙂

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    Kristal
    June 25, 2013 at 6:22 am

    So glad to know that even the most beautiful feel this way. I’ve been in a self destructive mode since I had my fifth last year, but conference talks do always help

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    Maggie
    June 25, 2013 at 7:59 am

    Following. You look gorgeous, as always! 🙂

  • Reply
    Tarnya Cook
    June 25, 2013 at 6:28 pm

    Cara, well said!
    You are absolutely right, those that are the happiest are those that are grateful and always helping others. Its so easy to get stuck inside of your own mind and forget there’s a bigger world out there. For me I think this is a very big thing for me to learn this year and to help spread the word. I love that your blog is all about external looks but you balance that so beautifully with the fact life isn’t ALL about that! You do an excellent job everyday at helping us women feel and look good and they go hand in hand. Looking OUR best (not the best you see on the front of magazines or on the silverscreen) helps us to feel our best which best helps us to serve those around us!
    Good job and please keep on doing what you do best.
    Love to you all the way from Australia, from a mum who likes to look good on the outside but most importnatly feel wonderful on the inside, which is often the hardest.
    xxx

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    Erika
    June 29, 2013 at 10:32 am

    We’re all human

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