My Life

All you need this holiday season is duct tape. {CLOSED}

A few weeks ago I found myself with kind of a big problem in the parenting department.
I absolutely adore Christian (my 2 year old) and I feel like I do my very best as his mom, I give him all kinds of loving care and attention, which comes naturally to me (as I am sure it does most mothers).
The problem was that I started noticing more and more how well behaved Christian was around…well, anyone besides me!
I usually shrugged it off since I had heard many mothers say the same thing, it only started to really bother me when I saw that when I came in the room not only was Christian harder to handle but he seemed genuinely more distressed and less content and happy.
I knew then with certainty that it had to be my behavior causing his and since I am the adult I should figure out what that is and fix it.
Which is not an easy realization given the fact that I devote my entire life to his happiness and worry every night that I am not doing it good enough….but the bright side to me taking responsibility was that if it was my fault then I could fix it.

So I started a mad search for the best parenting book on the market.
I looked at reviews,  read samples and forwards and finally picked one.
I know some people are against such a thing or rather resistant to “parenting advice” but I am NOT. I have no clue what I am doing, I’ve never done it before! and even the most menial of jobs require some training…

This book is life changing.
 I knew from the get go that I was going to love it and as apposed to most “Self-help” books I didn’t have to force myself through reading it, in fact I found it hard to put down! (so I spent two days distracted from parenting to read a parenting book… hypocritical much?)

It is a refreshing approach that makes you EXCITED about being a parent and about your future as a family.  It is not a quick fix or a new higher standard to try to live by as a parent that you’ll never accomplish and only feel more guilt over. It’s practical advice.
I have already seen a big difference in Christian and overall in my mind set. (Nick noticed too, which is big cause he is a total skeptic) This woman knows what she is talking about, she raised 5 wonderful children of her own and has taught parenting classes for 20 years, that have never been advertised and have always been booked solid.
When I closed the book I just instantly wanted everyone to read it! Whenever I find something I LOVE I just want to share it with everyone and anyone. So I emailed the Author and she was gracious enough to do a  guest post for me!

She also wants to give away a signed copy of the book (great for a Christmas gift, I want to give some of these with a cute roll of duct tape to the mothers in my life!) To enter just leave a comment and your name on this post, easy at that!

Ok, enough of my rambling! I bring you, Vickie Hoefle!

All You Need this Holiday Season is Duct Tape

Ok, wait! Before that thought goes anywhere it shouldn’t, I’m going to get you thinking about
what ONE roll of duct tape can do for your parenting experience.

First, let’s take a second to think about you and your kids. I don’t know your children, but you
know them very well, so go ahead and think about them in action. Now think about you in
action as the parent. What seems to go smoothly (bedtime routine?) and what seems to fall
apart every single time (morning routine?). Now, think about your favorite parenting strategy.
Do you have one? I bet you do, but you might not even know it. You might think, well, I don’t
use anything consistently, but yelling, nagging, reminding, lecturing, and all those reactive
habits are strategies that you use every day to try and change your children’s behavior. How
is it working for you? Are you implementing strategies that are creating long-term change,
facilitating strong independent confident, capable children? If not, here’s where the duct tape
comes in handy.

Another use for Duct Tape

Imagine sitting down with your kids and telling them you are sorry. You are sorry for all the
bossing, dictating, controlling and micro-managing you have been doing and that you are really
sorry for treating them as though they are incompetent. Tell them you are going to step back
for five days and observe and watch what they can do by themselves and identify where they
could benefit from some training. Ask them how they would like to wake-up in the am. An
alarm clock, alarm on a phone, the sun streaming in the window? The choice is theirs. Tell them
you will be taking a piece of duct tape and putting it right over your mouth, to help you break
your old habit of jumping in and nagging, reminding, lecturing, bribing and so on. What would
happen if you were unable to remind them what to be doing, thinking, or saying all day long?
Now sit in a chair. Imagine you’re duct taped there. You cannot run into the living room with
every little spat. You can’t carry backpacks, or bring shoes for kids who left them at home. You
can’t clean the entire house. In fact, all you can do is sit there, accept what’s happening around
you, learn what your kids are capable of, where they could use some training and where you
will start on your journey to raising respectful, responsible, & resilient kids.

When and why would a parent do this?

When your child decides to wear fleece pants to school in August and learns a valuable
lesson, you can nod and say nothing (instead of “I told you so”), because personal
experience is the BEST teacher.

When your child has a temper tantrum in the kitchen, you quietly leave the room,
instead of getting down on the floor and joining her. (We all know adult temper
tantrums are much worse.)

When your child forgets his lunch you quietly have faith that he has what it takes to be
a little hungry, solve the problem, and remember the next time. (If we want children to
believe in themselves, we must believe in them first.)

This, my friends, is the best gift you can give yourself, and it’s the gift that you can give your
children. For 2013, I challenge you to learn to “duct tape” yourself out of all the nonsense
that goes along with raising children. With this one gift of duct tape, you can give your kids
the golden gift of learning independence, problem solving, failure, forgetting, learning, asking,
remembering, discovering, unfolding, realizing, trying something new and creating a life that is
their own. In one year, imagine the difference.

Consider the Duct Tape Parenting pledge
As a Duct Tape Parent, I pledge to

  • Do my best
  • Zip it
  • Shut it
  • Think first
  • Avoid quick fixing
  • Not feed the weed
  • Quit my job as the maid
  • Avoid interfering

If this all seems a bit radical and overwhelming, pick up a copy of Duct Tape Parenting, A Less
is More Approach to Raising Respectful, Responsible, and Resilient Kids (Bibliomotion 2012) at
your local bookstore or Amazon.com. Learn more about the foundational philosophy behind
this parenting approach and the strategies that will help you to invest in the relationship
with your child, to trust your child to navigate his life, to train your child in life and self-skills
necessary to lead a healthy fulfilling adult life, to provide the opportunity for your child to
practice and master these skills while living at home with you AND to still manage to get out of
the house on time in the morning without tantrums or tears.

Have a Joyous Holiday! – Vicki

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205 Comments

  • Reply
    Amy
    December 6, 2012 at 8:51 am

    I soooo want to win this!

  • Reply
    Matasha
    December 6, 2012 at 8:55 am

    I too have a 2 year old, and I would LOVE to read this book! -M

  • Reply
    Kesley
    December 6, 2012 at 8:58 am

    This sounds like very inspiring and no nonsense approach book, aka great 🙂 Thanks for the giveaway and guest post!

  • Reply
    Marie
    December 6, 2012 at 9:03 am

    Looks like a very interesting book and approach to parenting. I know I am constantly nagging my daughter and I feel so guilty afterwards. This might be just what I need!

  • Reply
    Nahleena Ryan
    December 6, 2012 at 9:04 am

    I can totalky identify with this and feel like I could use some of the tactics ASAP! Thank ls fo sharing!!

  • Reply
    Brandi
    December 6, 2012 at 9:07 am

    I would love this! My husband and I have 3 children and our house is somewhat chaotic…any constructive help would be awesome 🙂

  • Reply
    Jenni
    December 6, 2012 at 9:08 am

    This style is so refreshing! Thanks for being the type of person who wants to share these wonderful things!! Enjoying my cozy sweater today is chilly Nebraska:)

  • Reply
    Lacey Gilbert
    December 6, 2012 at 9:09 am

    Your blog is truly about being beautiful on the inside and on the out. Thanks for sharing this post! Merry Christmas!

  • Reply
    Brandi
    December 6, 2012 at 9:10 am

    I would love this! With 3 kids, my husband and I love and constructive advice 🙂

    • Reply
      Brandi
      December 6, 2012 at 9:11 am

      whoops! it said my comment didn’t send the first time

  • Reply
    Kelsey H.
    December 6, 2012 at 9:11 am

    Sounds like the perfect book for the people-pleaser/micro-manager in all of us. What it comes down to is being able to let go of control and trade it for mindfulness and acceptance. Sometimes less is more and the best way we can ‘fix’ something is by stepping back and letting it be worked out on its own. So hard when you want to help.

    I would LOVE this book.

  • Reply
    Heidi
    December 6, 2012 at 9:12 am

    Thank you for this post! I have two kids-a 5 1/2 year old son and a 3 year old daughter. I adore them, but I’ve noticed many of the changes you mentioned. And I came to the conclusion that I had somehow ruined them. Not an easy concept to swallow when you’re entire world revolves around them. Unfortunately I do resist parenting books-not because I feel I have all the answers, but mainly because I’m always so skeptical. However, hearing that someone else has tried this, makes me willing to give it a try; along with the fact that it just sounds like good, common sense parenting-nothing extreme.
    As always, great post!! Thank you for sharing!!

  • Reply
    Nicole L
    December 6, 2012 at 9:12 am

    I am going through the same situation with my son. I would love to read this book!!

  • Reply
    Sarah
    December 6, 2012 at 9:13 am

    My daughter is 1 year old in a few weeks and it looks like I should do some reading up before all these challenges hit me too! I’d LOVE to read this book!

  • Reply
    Tracy Layne
    December 6, 2012 at 9:15 am

    Yep, I could definitely use a little duct tape in my life.

  • Reply
    Sylvie
    December 6, 2012 at 9:16 am

    Omg, it sounds like it would be so difficult to step back and knowingly allow your kids to make mistakes in order for them to learn from it, but it makes sense! I don’t have any little ones yet, but I’m working on it, so I’ll have to remember this approach!

  • Reply
    Angela
    December 6, 2012 at 9:17 am

    I m dying to win this for my best friend who is having a hard time lately with her youngins!

  • Reply
    Erica
    December 6, 2012 at 9:18 am

    This sounds like an awesome book and everything she talks about really makes sense to me. I would love a copy to read!

  • Reply
    Katrina
    December 6, 2012 at 9:19 am

    My husband and I have been searching for a new parenting tool for a couple weeks to give us new ideas on how to be the best possible parents to our strong-willed, strong-minded four year old little girl! We don’t want to change anything about her, we just want to learn how to let her know that its not okay to always act like a diva! Im very excited about this book, it sounds like a great read for any parent.

    p.s. In lOvE with your blog! Iv learned so much in the last couple days!!!!

  • Reply
    Kira
    December 6, 2012 at 9:20 am

    Just found your blog! I LOVE it! My two girls could probably benefit from me reading this book haha. Sounds awesome!

  • Reply
    Jennifer
    December 6, 2012 at 9:20 am

    I have the same problem. Someone will watch my kids and tell me how good they are, only for me to come back and they turn into little devils. I hope I win!

  • Reply
    Julie Davis
    December 6, 2012 at 9:25 am

    I want to read! 🙂

  • Reply
    Katieann
    December 6, 2012 at 9:26 am

    I would love to read this book. I have a 18 month old boy and need all advice I can get. 🙂

  • Reply
    Cassie Ilten
    December 6, 2012 at 9:26 am

    If I don’t win I’m going to buy this! Being a stay at home mom to a 6, 5 and 3 year old isn’t easy.

  • Reply
    Tia
    December 6, 2012 at 9:27 am

    Love this – I’ve been trying to figure out a way to shut my mouth for awhile now and I feel like Duct taping my mouth might be the only solution!!

  • Reply
    Chelsea
    December 6, 2012 at 9:31 am

    I need to read this book, stat! Thank you!

  • Reply
    Stacy
    December 6, 2012 at 9:33 am

    oh man. i am in the middle of 3 kids (1,3,4) all very strong willed and super stubborn. any help would be a life saver!

  • Reply
    Donnie Flaherty
    December 6, 2012 at 9:35 am

    I would love win this book…and if I don’t win I am buying it anyway! I have a four and five year old and well, like you, I will take any advice I can get to be a better mother and raise respectful, responsible kids. Thanks for sharing:)

  • Reply
    Chyanne Rooney
    December 6, 2012 at 9:35 am

    Sounds like I really need to read this!! My almost two year old little lady has quite the attitude!

  • Reply
    Lisa M.
    December 6, 2012 at 9:36 am

    I need this Book!

  • Reply
    Melissa Z
    December 6, 2012 at 9:39 am

    I LOVE your blog and esp when u post “mommy help” items!! I am constantly worried about how my boys act around other peoe and myself. I want to have them be independant and loving without me having to be a drill sargent! Being 2 and 4 its a daily struggle!!

  • Reply
    Karis Shock
    December 6, 2012 at 9:39 am

    Hi! I read your blogs all the time! I also have a 2 year old boy (in 11 days:) and he has started the temper tantrum thing lately so I just got another book a friend told me about. It’s called The Happiest Toddler on the Block and its supposed to teach them how to communicate better instead of always getting upset and throwing tantrums, etc! This one sounds like a good one also, I think I’ve found my next read! Thanks! Xo

  • Reply
    Tara Norviel
    December 6, 2012 at 9:40 am

    I could definitely use this!

  • Reply
    Candy
    December 6, 2012 at 9:40 am

    I thinkI would benefit from this! I have a three year old who is very energetic and constantly in the “time-out”. I need to read some books so I can learn what kind of language to use so that his scoldings are more effective and so that he understands his misdoings.

  • Reply
    Cortney
    December 6, 2012 at 9:41 am

    I think all mothers can learn something from this book! No one is perfect, and I’m damn sure not!

  • Reply
    Stephanie Gosbee
    December 6, 2012 at 9:44 am

    I love your blog! We haven’t started a family yet, but will someday and I’m sure I’ll need all the help I can get 🙂

  • Reply
    Gloria
    December 6, 2012 at 9:47 am

    I’m so glad you wrote this! I have 3 young children that are starting to “push my buttons” on purpose & I have been reacting to it every time. Can’t wait to read this and take on new ways of parenting – cause half the time I don’t even know what I’m doing!! 😉

  • Reply
    kayse
    December 6, 2012 at 9:47 am

    I would love to win this book!!!
    -kayse craig

  • Reply
    Kristen
    December 6, 2012 at 9:48 am

    I am expecting my first, I have no idea what I’m getting myself into haha…

    It would definitely be hard to not bring them their lunch if they left it at home!

  • Reply
    Tracy
    December 6, 2012 at 9:48 am

    We don’t have any babies yet! Just getting married in Maui on January 13! But I will be buying this book…. I want to read it now already!
    Thanks!

  • Reply
    Lani
    December 6, 2012 at 9:48 am

    So, pretty much intrigued to know more about this book. Hope to win it!

  • Reply
    Jessica
    December 6, 2012 at 9:49 am

    Wow, what an interesting and appealing book! I would love to win a copy. I don’t have any kids at the moment, but I will in a few short months! I’d love to prep in advance!

  • Reply
    Katie
    December 6, 2012 at 9:49 am

    I have a 9yr old son and 16yr old daughter. The saying that your daughter will be 10x’s worse than you were is VERY TRUE!! I need this book to stay sane!! lol
    My son, however, has been wonderful…so far 🙂

  • Reply
    Katie
    December 6, 2012 at 9:50 am

    P.S. I adore your blog!!

  • Reply
    Tammy
    December 6, 2012 at 9:50 am

    Ah! We are always in the same boat at the same time! Pregnant together, terrible two’s together! We are in it for the long run! Jack and Christian are long lost brothers, I tell ya! This book seems fantastic! If I don’t win, I am definitely buying it!

  • Reply
    Stacey
    December 6, 2012 at 9:51 am

    Holy crap do I need this! My “parenting technique” is yelling (I’m Italian, it’s what we do). I am definitely trying but I could use some more guidance. My 4 and 5 year old would appreciate it!
    Thanks!

  • Reply
    tiffani
    December 6, 2012 at 9:51 am

    i want to read this and i’m not a parent!

  • Reply
    Jennifer
    December 6, 2012 at 9:53 am

    I may need a few of these books! For gifts & one for myself:)

  • Reply
    SueEllen
    December 6, 2012 at 9:56 am

    OH WOW! This post could not have popped up in my inbox on a better day. I am struggling with a 15 year who wants complete independence, yet lacks the maturity and responsibility to be successful.The duct tape approach sounds like something that could really help our family!
    Thanks, Cara! Your blog has not only improved my makeup skills, your practical advice has changed the way I approach things in my life.

  • Reply
    Megan
    December 6, 2012 at 9:58 am

    I am a step mom to a 6 year old boy. I try my hardest to give him all the love he deserves and be a good positive female mother figure for him, but sometimes it’s hard when all I want to do is give in and give him whatever he wants. I think the duct tape idea of sitting back and not doing everything like cleaning and putting their shoes on for them is great. Thank you so much for the advice even though I’m only a step parent.

  • Reply
    Mimi
    December 6, 2012 at 9:59 am

    I want duct tape.

  • Reply
    Micklee
    December 6, 2012 at 10:00 am

    We all know I could use the help, win it or not, I am going to get this book!! Hi Cara!! Your presence is missed already here. Hope you are doing good!

  • Reply
    Jennette Pulecio
    December 6, 2012 at 10:01 am

    When I read your post, I keep saying ” OmG! I am not the only one!!” I can’t wait to read this book. Pl-jennette Pulecio

  • Reply
    Melanie
    December 6, 2012 at 10:09 am

    I think all her ideas sound great. I definitely need help. My teenager thinks he knows it all and battles always seem to happen.

  • Reply
    Renee @ Fit For Motherhood
    December 6, 2012 at 10:11 am

    Oh my, this is so true for me and my 3 year old. She is an angle when we are out and she is with other people. No one ever believes me when I say oh you should see her at home. 🙂 I am so going to buy this book. I feel the same way you do about always wanting the best for my girls. Thank you for this wonderful post. You have made me feel better about my mothering. 🙂

  • Reply
    Maggie Howard
    December 6, 2012 at 10:16 am

    As the mother of a headstrong 2 year old I could really use this book!

  • Reply
    Melissa
    December 6, 2012 at 10:16 am

    Goodness, what a great idea. I would LOOOOVVVVEEEEE to read (and win) this book!

  • Reply
    Morgan Schewe
    December 6, 2012 at 10:16 am

    I am in need of this book sooooo badly.

  • Reply
    Evelyn R
    December 6, 2012 at 10:17 am

    What a great book!

  • Reply
    Shelly
    December 6, 2012 at 10:23 am

    This book sounds like a great read! Thanks for sharing!

  • Reply
    Lindsay
    December 6, 2012 at 10:24 am

    I love this approach. I will definitely be reading it!

  • Reply
    Holly
    December 6, 2012 at 10:24 am

    this is parenting advice I need! Thanks for the tip!

  • Reply
    Daniela
    December 6, 2012 at 10:30 am

    I’m a first time parent and I’d like to start things off the right way…. because I already do much nagging at home and that has got to stop. I’ve been researching books to find out what would work for me and came across this pin, for what I’ve read… it sounds very interesting and promising, I would really love to have a copy of this book and share it with my hubby 🙂

  • Reply
    Heather
    December 6, 2012 at 10:33 am

    I must read this book!

  • Reply
    Lisandra
    December 6, 2012 at 10:41 am

    I gave up on parenting books (particularly sleeping advice books) because they make me crazy and a bit of a failure when after implementing their advice in vain. I find common sense rules but that said something about this book resonates because it’s now what you do but what you don’t do. Might give this parenting book a chance.

  • Reply
    Jenn Lance
    December 6, 2012 at 10:59 am

    Who WOULDN’T love to win this book?!? What an awesome giveaway!!

  • Reply
    Averey B
    December 6, 2012 at 11:02 am

    I would LOVE to win this book!

  • Reply
    Amanda McGuire
    December 6, 2012 at 11:03 am

    Wow, thanks for sharing this! It sounds like just what I need. I have a 2 year old and a 7 month old, both boys, who really need a better mom! I try to be perfect for them and feel so guilty when I’m not. It sounds like this is just the parenting style I need to try. Thanks again for sharing!

  • Reply
    Brittany Keding
    December 6, 2012 at 11:06 am

    I have 2 year old twins and a 1 1/2 year old and they are ALWAYS better behaved when I’m not around! I so need this book!

  • Reply
    Claire Hawkes
    December 6, 2012 at 11:08 am

    I would love to read this! I have a 2 year old as well and I’ve felt a bit helpless lately!

  • Reply
    Krista
    December 6, 2012 at 11:10 am

    As a mother of 3 wild, rowdy, & beautiful little girls – I can use all the helpful & practical advice I can get!!

  • Reply
    Amanda Lackey
    December 6, 2012 at 11:13 am

    Looks like an interesting approach I would be willing to try! Would love to read this!

  • Reply
    Danielle
    December 6, 2012 at 11:16 am

    I would love to read this book! I have a three year old and a 16 month old who would definitely benefit from me learning some new techniques.

  • Reply
    Randi
    December 6, 2012 at 11:19 am

    This book is life changing! I can’t thank you enough for sharing it with me. I have noticed a difference in our home already and it’s the first parenting book I have read that made me excited for the teen years! Get ready to quit your job as the maid and stop reliving groundhog day! Thank you Cara and thank you Vickie 🙂

  • Reply
    Sisi
    December 6, 2012 at 11:30 am

    I would love to win and read this book! I have a two year old and a one year old who would totally benefit from me reading this 🙂

  • Reply
    Allison Huff
    December 6, 2012 at 11:32 am

    Would love to read this book….we are first time parents and have no idea how to handle tantrums, yelling, etc.

  • Reply
    Carly neilson
    December 6, 2012 at 11:35 am

    I have three little girls – anything is good to help! Thx!

  • Reply
    Joy Comden
    December 6, 2012 at 11:36 am

    I would live to read this!

  • Reply
    Kim Stoddard
    December 6, 2012 at 11:45 am

    Can’t wait to read this book.

  • Reply
    Melissa
    December 6, 2012 at 11:47 am

    I have a 2.5 YO and a 6 month old, and would LOVE this book! Thanks Cara for posting such great tips on everything. I love your site! It’s my favorite go-to blog for everything.

  • Reply
    nicole
    December 6, 2012 at 11:53 am

    Love ur site! Everything u post is so helpful:) including this! I have a 2 year old daughter and could probably benefit from this advice!

  • Reply
    Bethany Barrow
    December 6, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    This would be very helpful for my family. I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 19 month old. I am very strict about their schedule on a day to day basis because I know they need the structure, but my son will be starting preschool next year and I am a little worried. This book seems like it would have some very helpful hints to help with the transition. Not solve it, but help. I hope I win the giveaway and would be soooo grateful!

  • Reply
    Aubrey
    December 6, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    Sounds like a great book! I would love to read this!

  • Reply
    Paige
    December 6, 2012 at 12:03 pm

    I have been looking for something like this for a long time now. Thank you so much for finding it and posting about it. I would love to win the book!I really look forward to reading this book and implementing it into our lives. I have a 3 year old daughter and a 18 month old son that are so awesome and I love them dearly but I struggle with confidence in my parenting and in them I guess. This book would be great for us. Thank you again for introducing us all to this. You really do have a fantastic blog!

  • Reply
    Tracy Davis
    December 6, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    Great giveaway! I’m always interested in learning how to parent better! Hope I win a copy!

  • Reply
    mary w
    December 6, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    First off, I absolutely love your blog. Your makeup tips have been fabulous. 🙂 I am now a mom that HAC – and it’s awesome!

    I have a very active 3.5 yr old boy and another very active 1.5 yr old girl. (They are both trying to sit on my lap right now because – OMG – I’m not giving them 100% of my attention!) Together they get in to a lot of trouble. And sometimes they just egg each other on just to get a reaction out of each other – or to make me have a mommy meltdown. I have tried to read so many books on how to parent and nothing ever seems to stick. I often feel like I’m missing the mark on how to be a good mom. My parents raised 5 kids and I just don’t know how they did it! I don’t remember them being on the floor with me all the time playing, etc. We were pretty much left to be kids and figure things out on our own, we all had to pitch in and help out, and were responsible for ourselves. I just don’t know how to get my kids to do the same thing!

    Even if I don’t win this book, I will definitely be purchasing it!!
    Thanks!

  • Reply
    Kailee wright
    December 6, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    I was just telling my husband the other day…that we need to fix some stuff to get my “nice” daughter back!! this is exactly what i need!! i hope i win!! s!!

  • Reply
    gayle @ grace for gayle
    December 6, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    Hey! My name is Gayle. I don’t have kids {yet}, but for some reason, I am totally in love with preparing myself for the future. AND, I also think that many of the concepts that are outlined for raising kids benefit our interactions with adults, too. I’d love to read this book. 🙂 Thank you for sharing with us!!

  • Reply
    Candy
    December 6, 2012 at 12:21 pm

    Eeek lOved this post! Please enter me for a chance to win 🙂

  • Reply
    Ellie
    December 6, 2012 at 12:26 pm

    This looks so interesting! Thanks for the great post!

  • Reply
    Nancy sulinski
    December 6, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    This type of parenting is practical and refreshingly basic. It makes so much sense to train your kids to learn to resolve issues themselves. This teaches them a lesson that will go beyond the walls of their childhood and into their adult lives. Thanks for posting this Cara.

  • Reply
    April
    December 6, 2012 at 12:32 pm

    A friend and total fan of Vicki’s was just telling me about her programs, and I can’t wait to get a copy of her book!

  • Reply
    april
    December 6, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    Oh my goodness. How is it that you always post things at exactly the right moment? My 5 year old had me in tears last night. I was wondering if she was even ever going to start behaving or if my parenting had ruined her forever. I think I’m going to go by this book right now and if I win I’ll give it to a friend. Thank you!

  • Reply
    Miranda Rudolph
    December 6, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    I love the sound of this book. I have two children, 5 and 3, and I often feel that all I do is nag them. Would love some tools to change MY behavior.

  • Reply
    Renee
    December 6, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    I loved this post!! Fully believe and support this method/lifestyle when you have or work with children. Kids are fully capable of doing great and wonderful things when given the opportunity to problem solve and become responsible for their actions. Thanks for posting!

  • Reply
    April
    December 6, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    I would love this book! As the mother of two boys, I really think this would help 🙂

  • Reply
    Sallie
    December 6, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    This would be great for my mom! We have a 16 year old boy in the house and things are getting a little crazy around here 🙂

  • Reply
    Rhonda
    December 6, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    I’m loving this idea. I think I may need to modify a bit because my children are just 3 & 4 but generally this sounds like an amazing idea! I’m just like you Cara…when I find something I love I want to tell everyone!

  • Reply
    Heather Rodgers
    December 6, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    Wow! This sounds like a great book! A must read! Thanks you so much for sharing! It’s so easy for us as parents to get bogged down and feel like failures:/ thank you for sharing on your struggles as well, definitely encouraging to know that we are not alone:) love your blog!

  • Reply
    Michelle Stod
    December 6, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    Would love to win this! I find this technique very intuitive… why haven’t I thought of this before?

  • Reply
    Katie Dethloff
    December 6, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    You’ve got more comments on this post than I think I’ve ever seen! Anyway, I’m the mother of a little boy, myself, and I’ve got no clue what I’m doing, either. I would love a copy of this book:) Thanks for posting!

    Katie

  • Reply
    Jessica
    December 6, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    Love Parenting tips! Hope I win the book!

  • Reply
    Kristen
    December 6, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    Would love to read this book, sounds great!

  • Reply
    Amber
    December 6, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    Thanks for the recommendation! I am going to check this out on Amazon. Love your site and love you.

    Amber

  • Reply
    Michelle
    December 6, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    Uh, 2 year old, right here in my home, need this book, help. 😉

  • Reply
    Chastity
    December 6, 2012 at 1:52 pm

    I would love to read this book. My son just turned one 🙂

  • Reply
    Kristin Dalton
    December 6, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    My 2 year old boy, Sawyer, is doing the EXACT same thing with me! I’m totally intrigued and would love this book:)

  • Reply
    Jordan
    December 6, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    This book is screaming my name! Hope I win!

  • Reply
    Kira
    December 6, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    Cara, This is the first I’ve been to your blog! Now I can’t tear myself away from it. What a great post this was, I can’t wait to read the book. I noticed a similar change in my 3.5 year old when he started going to 3K this Fall. His behavior at school is more refined than at home. Thanks for the post!

  • Reply
    Margaret
    December 6, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    This is great – I do truly think it may take Duct Tape for me to zip it!! Love to read this one!

  • Reply
    Julie
    December 6, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    I have a two year old boy too! He is definitely a hand full and I need some guidance. Thanks for the post!

  • Reply
    Katie
    December 6, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    LOVE this book and would love to give a copy to friends. Please, pick me!!

  • Reply
    Angie
    December 6, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    I’m open to any advice!! Love to read it 🙂

  • Reply
    taryn
    December 6, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    Fun giveaway! I love that you’re promoting the things you love.

  • Reply
    Gina
    December 6, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    I-NEED-this!

  • Reply
    Chelise
    December 6, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    I could def. put this to good use, I’ll take any help I can get.

  • Reply
    Mori Jensen
    December 6, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    I would love to read this book and give this parenting method a try! 🙂

  • Reply
    Sara Roth
    December 6, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    I would love to read this book!

  • Reply
    Claire
    December 6, 2012 at 3:05 pm

    Ack! I NEED THIS BOOK. And an industrial size roll of duct tape!!!

  • Reply
    Mags
    December 6, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    I am intrigued. If I don’t win I will have to find this book so I can get some advice for how two deal with my two very strong willed children. Besides being bossy.

  • Reply
    Brittany Schaffer
    December 6, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    I have a 2 year old and have the same problem! She is so good with my husband but when I’m there she fusses more and isn’t as happy. If I don’t win I will for sure be buying this book!

  • Reply
    Alex
    December 6, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    I really really REALLY want to win this!! So far what I have read is AMAZING!!! This sounds like such a good strategy Vickie Hoefle. And thank you SO much for sharing Cara!! I love reading all about your experiences.

  • Reply
    Cathryn
    December 6, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    if i don’t win, i will buy! thanks for the share!

  • Reply
    Crystal
    December 6, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    I need this book! Lol. As a mother of a 2 year old and a new born, I’m really into parenting books.

  • Reply
    Melissa
    December 6, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    Oh how I need to learn to just be quiet sometimes!! I would love this book!

  • Reply
    Danielle T.
    December 6, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    I would love this book, I have been looking for books on parenting recently I would love this. I’m so glad you posted this, I feel like I’ve needed the same help lately. Thank you!!!

  • Reply
    Ami
    December 6, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    I could use some help too! My kiddos are 2 and 3 years old. I want to raise them to be happy and productive adults and wouldn’t mind some more parenting tools!! What I am doing is not working too great! By the way- love your blog!

  • Reply
    Angela Hall
    December 6, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    Oh please oh please oh please pick me! I have been really thinking I was a bad parent. I NEED this book in my life and since its Xmas I can’t go buy for myself right now

  • Reply
    Amy
    December 6, 2012 at 4:55 pm

    Oh how I need a copy of this book. Three little boys would greatly appreciate it.

  • Reply
    Brittany
    December 6, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    I need this book. Parenting is definitely not an easy task and if I could learn some valuable tools to make my job as a parent easier, ill take it! I have a difficult stepson and we’ve run into some serious issues. I need help with how to handle him! I also have a 1 year old that I would like to raise into a respectable young man. Please choose me as I’m in desperate need for parenting help 🙂

  • Reply
    Annie
    December 6, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    Can’t wait to read—hope I win it!

  • Reply
    Ashley
    December 6, 2012 at 5:16 pm

    Happy holidays everyone! I hope I win!

  • Reply
    Jessie
    December 6, 2012 at 5:35 pm

    Great advice! I am not a parent myself yet, but one of the things I appreciate most about my mom’s parenting is the independence she has given me. She did not try to fix our problems (I have 3 siblings). She let us figure it out ourselves and ask for her help or advice when we needed it. I hope my future children will say the same thing. Good luck Cara!
    Jessie Hagemeyer

  • Reply
    Brooke
    December 6, 2012 at 5:41 pm

    I have seen this book popping up everywhere! Would love to read it!

  • Reply
    KaraLee
    December 6, 2012 at 5:48 pm

    I have 4 kids under 6 years. 🙂 This sounds like a great book!

  • Reply
    Amber
    December 6, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    Amber Allison 🙂 Would love this!

  • Reply
    stephanie
    December 6, 2012 at 6:06 pm

    I totally need to read this!

  • Reply
    Angela H.
    December 6, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    I would love to win this book. I have 2 boys who are 2 and 4!

  • Reply
    Shawna R
    December 6, 2012 at 6:38 pm

    O-M-G! I am having the same issue with my 3 year old. Ugh, it is so frustrating! I would love this book 🙂

  • Reply
    Lindsey Rock
    December 6, 2012 at 7:04 pm

    Need this book!

  • Reply
    Alicia
    December 6, 2012 at 7:34 pm

    This sounds great!! I have a 5 year daughter and 3 year old boy…I am going nuts over here! So far medication and a therapist have yet to help me! Thinking it is time for a new approach 🙂

  • Reply
    Hannah Brown
    December 6, 2012 at 7:46 pm

    I would absolutely love to win this for my sister. She is pregnant with her first little girl and is scared to death about being a good mother and adjusting her lifestyle to match Piper’s needs. This would be an amazing Christmas gift as I’ve heard such great things about this book through Pinterest! Xoxo

  • Reply
    Nicole
    December 6, 2012 at 7:53 pm

    Could always use an extra parenting book for my two boys! Mine are completely different when I’m not around too.

  • Reply
    Tara
    December 6, 2012 at 8:02 pm

    I just asked the universe for a parenting book! Then you wrote this! I’m so excited! I’m going to buy it!! Thank you so much!

  • Reply
    Jazmyn Johnson
    December 6, 2012 at 8:39 pm

    I have two kids, a 4 year old boy and a 2 year old girl. my husband is ready for baby #3, but I first feel like there needs to be change with parenting. I really would like to read this book!!

  • Reply
    Amanda Flanagan
    December 6, 2012 at 9:46 pm

    Very excited about this book. I have a 2 yr old and a 3 yr old and I have found that I have the same problem you have with your son. My daughter’s pre-k teacher thinks she is wonderful and I agree, but the first time they ever saw her act out was when I was there for a family day! They were shocked…I was less so. But, I hated that she only does that when I’m there!

  • Reply
    Liz
    December 6, 2012 at 10:17 pm

    Thanks for sharing your experience. Crossing my fingers and hoping I win…..

  • Reply
    Cami Armstrong
    December 6, 2012 at 10:21 pm

    I would SO love a copy of this book! I have 2 strong willed little boys – 4 yr old and 17 month old. This book sounds like the perfect advice! Cara – I LOVE your blog and am just so grateful you put your talent and amazing-ness out here for all of us! 🙂

  • Reply
    Amy
    December 6, 2012 at 10:27 pm

    Win or not….I’m going to read this. Thank you!

  • Reply
    Jennifer
    December 6, 2012 at 10:41 pm

    I need a copy of this book, I have 3 boys and one girl, their dad has been working out of town ALOT (we are blessed and grateful for the work) but it has been beyond stressful to try and do all this on my own. We also just moved so the kids are trying to adjust to new schools, new friends, and new rules. This book sounds very interesting, thanks for sharing
    Jenn:)

  • Reply
    Alison V.
    December 6, 2012 at 11:02 pm

    I love her respectful attitude towards children! Thank you for sharing 🙂

  • Reply
    Jalynn M.
    December 6, 2012 at 11:04 pm

    Okay I just found this website and I luhvvvv it! I thought I was alone in lying awake hoping I am giving my one year old the most love and the best life possible! I have watched like all the videos on here already 😀

  • Reply
    Candace
    December 6, 2012 at 11:06 pm

    What a coincidence! I went on an out of town shopping trip with my Mom and twin sister today. My sister has a 2 year old daughter who is not a fan of shopping! Reading your story is exactly what we had experienced today. Her daughter would do good if my sister wasn’t around so our Mom took over and it was all okay while my sister wasn’t there. I could imagine the hurt you and my sister both feel in these situations and it breaks my heart. I’m going to suggest this book to her to see if it can help her. There was a reason I read this post of yours today!!:) Thank you and good luck with your little boy:)

  • Reply
    Lisa
    December 6, 2012 at 11:18 pm

    If I don’t win this, I’m buying it! 🙂

    I KNOW that the problem we are having with our daughter is me. I want to fix it, but don’t know how.

    Thank you SO much for this post. This could be life changing. 🙂

  • Reply
    Molly C.
    December 6, 2012 at 11:24 pm

    Hi,
    I am interested in entering to win this book. It looks like great advice – kind of “teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves” type of thing. Thanks!

  • Reply
    joy jung
    December 7, 2012 at 12:02 am

    I can always use more advice on parenting! This book sounds great.

  • Reply
    Jamee
    December 7, 2012 at 12:15 am

    Crossing my fingers!
    xoxo

  • Reply
    Michelle
    December 7, 2012 at 12:25 am

    I am at my wits end and can definitely use this book! Thank you!!

  • Reply
    Lana
    December 7, 2012 at 2:37 am

    I would love to win/read this book! My 2 sons are exactly at the age where I need to implement the “duct tape” rule.

  • Reply
    Chelsea
    December 7, 2012 at 7:12 am

    This most definitely looks like a book I need to read!! I have a 3 yr old, who generally tries to tell me what to do! Maybe this would be something I could try to change that and the daily temper tantrums. Thanks for posting about this!!!

  • Reply
    Jenn
    December 7, 2012 at 7:38 am

    Oh my gosh, I want this book!!!! My name is Jenn Hubbell, and this book sounds too awesome!!!

  • Reply
    Nikki
    December 7, 2012 at 7:48 am

    WOOOWWW!!!! There are soo many posts on here!!! Congrats on such a popular post! And I am glad that this book worked out for you!!! Well my name is Nikki and I really hope I get picked to read this book!!!

    Thanks!!!!

  • Reply
    McCall Johnson
    December 7, 2012 at 8:17 am

    My little guy’s getting to the naughty stage too!

  • Reply
    Kim
    December 7, 2012 at 8:17 am

    Parenting is something my friends and I discuss frequently… So it’s only fitting that you would post about it 🙂 As an avid follower I feel you’re a friend! Thanks for sharing this book. You are a doll! BFF’s 4ever.. Haha.

  • Reply
    Sydni
    December 7, 2012 at 8:28 am

    I would love to win this book! We have such trouble getting out 6 year old to tie his own shoes, but maybe this approach would work better.

  • Reply
    liz @ btb
    December 7, 2012 at 9:04 am

    I have a 10 month old (who’s the size of a 3 year old) who I’m hoping not to ‘ruin’. Is love to read this book and get a head start on this while parenting thing.

  • Reply
    Estelle
    December 7, 2012 at 10:01 am

    I have 4 kids under the age of seven. I wonder constantly if I am doing this parenting thing right. I would love to read this book! Thank you!

  • Reply
    msjake
    December 7, 2012 at 10:11 am

    Geez, I want to try this on my kids!

  • Reply
    Kristina
    December 7, 2012 at 10:21 am

    My husband and I are planning to start a family in the next year. I am beginning my search for parenting books and this seems like a great one to start with! I am also in Graduate school studying to become an elementary school teacher. I feel like a lot of this advice could easily be used for a classroom management. 🙂

  • Reply
    Jerika
    December 7, 2012 at 10:57 am

    Having my first baby in a couple months! Any and all advice helps especially since I have no clue what I’m doing! LOL. I would love a copy of this book!!!!

  • Reply
    Carla L.
    December 7, 2012 at 11:08 am

    Thanks for sharing this great find!

  • Reply
    Jessica Rogers
    December 7, 2012 at 11:35 am

    This book sounds interesting! I can get on board with quitting my full-time job as housekeeper/maid…

  • Reply
    Nicki
    December 7, 2012 at 1:28 pm

    This definitely sounds like a parenting method I can get behind. I’m interested to learn more!

  • Reply
    Brittany Wanless
    December 7, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    I would love to win this book for my friend who is a single hard working Mom of three kids and has recently been having a difficult time. No father is in the picture and she’s just amazing!! I agree with the author’s advice and I would love to gift this to my friend! <3

  • Reply
    Sandi
    December 7, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    I could use this! Thanks for the awesome giveaway. 🙂

  • Reply
    Mary Claire
    December 7, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    I would love to win this book!! Thanks!

  • Reply
    Katie
    December 7, 2012 at 6:22 pm

    Thanks for the thoughtful giveaway! At times I feel I am in the same boat. Happy Holidays!

  • Reply
    Ashley
    December 7, 2012 at 7:05 pm

    The books sounds very interesting! Sometimes it’s so hard to not say something and watch them fail but I do agree that children learn valuable lessons thru figuring out on their own.

  • Reply
    Ann
    December 7, 2012 at 7:42 pm

    Oh my goodness I could totally use this book! 2 out of my 3 are giving me a run for my money right now. I can use all the help I can get! Thanks for sharing, Cara!

  • Reply
    Holly Anderson
    December 7, 2012 at 10:06 pm

    Oh, Cara. This post could not be better timed. It’s been one of those weeks where not only the kids are ill-behaved, but me, the mom, has been ill-behaved. I’ve had about 4 breakdowns this week all due to the fact that I don’t know what I’m doing and my kids are suffering because of it. I’d love the help from this book before I become the next victim of Supernanny! Thanks for the great giveaway!

  • Reply
    Madison Bell
    December 7, 2012 at 10:17 pm

    I would love to win this! Thanks for sharing 🙂

  • Reply
    Marcie Davis
    December 7, 2012 at 10:19 pm

    I actually might just have to buy this book! Very interesting!

  • Reply
    Charli
    December 7, 2012 at 10:23 pm

    I have four little kids……I would love to read this it sounds crazy to me, I feel if I don’t do everything then nothing would get done in this house but maybe I am not doing my kids any favors……I may need to buy this regardless 🙂

    Charli Svedin

  • Reply
    kristen
    December 7, 2012 at 10:30 pm

    I would love a copy as I have 4 young sons and could use any advice! 😉 But I plan to head to the library tomorrow as well in hopes they’ll have copy I can get started on!

  • Reply
    Bree Allphin
    December 7, 2012 at 10:43 pm

    This sounds like a great parenting book. As a mom of 3 Littles, I’ve read my share and most don’t measure up. I like this approach. And even if I don’t win, you can bet your behind ill be getting it for myself for Christmas. Thanks for posting!!

  • Reply
    Nicole Eichman
    December 7, 2012 at 11:23 pm

    I need this book immediately! I have a 2 year old and a 9 month old. My 9 month old is just an angel, but my 2 year old gives me a run for my money. She is so active and does the exact opposite of everything I tell her. Between her tantrums, and me being overwhelmed, we each take turns ruling everyday. I’ve been looking for a good parenting book.

  • Reply
    Tara R
    December 8, 2012 at 12:54 am

    Totally been there! I’ve noticed this has especially been the case since my daughter has started kindergarten… Help!

  • Reply
    Amanda Godfrey
    December 8, 2012 at 1:01 am

    Pick me, pick me!! Hello I totally need this book. I have five freaking kids and I need some help. The two year old twins are pushing me over the edge. If duct tape is the answer? Please send some to Park City!!! (Wink, wink)- Amanda

  • Reply
    Rebecca
    December 8, 2012 at 6:38 am

    Sounds like an interesting approach for kids of all ages!

  • Reply
    Nicole p
    December 8, 2012 at 6:44 am

    With four young kids, I would love to check this out! My 7 and 9 year olds especially could use some “mom backing off”.

  • Reply
    Melissa
    December 8, 2012 at 6:47 am

    What a great concept!

  • Reply
    Allison Donovan
    December 8, 2012 at 8:07 am

    I would love to win this book so I can read it and share it with parents of the kids I work with (I’m a psychologist). I see so many kids who’s parents are so frazzled and burned out because of the kids’ behavior problems, and would be so much happier if they learned to let go a little :-).

  • Reply
    Emilie
    December 8, 2012 at 8:09 am

    On your recommendation I purchased and downloaded this book to my Kindle. It was read within 2 days and my husband is starting it tomorrow. A.MAZING! While I still have questions, I am so ready to start implementing some of this stuff. Definitely get it! I also bought 2 for my best mom friends who I know will love it too!

  • Reply
    Messina
    December 8, 2012 at 10:36 am

    This looks like a great book! I think with parenting you have to have a little bit of a sense of humor! I would love this book, I have an 18 month old boy and a 3 1/2 year old boy! I feel like I totally have my hands full, and we found out this year that my older son has food allergies which partially explains his behavioral issues. I too am like you where I love to get parenting advice, as long as it is positive and non judging! I have a few parenting books but none that I am crazy about…we also haven’t gotten much positive reinforcement from our families…parenting is definitely the hardest job I’ve ever had! But I must say I LOVE MY JOB!

  • Reply
    Emily
    December 8, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    I need that book! Recently my 2 year old son has been refusing my assistance with EVERYTHING and screaming for dad. He won’t let me change his diapers, his clothes, put on his bib, take off the bib, wipe his face, take off his shoes, ANYTHING. He just wants dad to do it. Obviously a 2 year old wants to assert his independence, but he’s asking for dad to do it and not doing it himself. It breaks my heart and I need help! I should be happy that dad has to change all of the diapers during this phase, but I’m a full-time working mom and when I come home, all I want to do is spend time with him, even if that means changing a poopy diaper! (Dad works full-time too so I can’t figure out this favoritism at all!!) Maybe I could use some duct tape…

  • Reply
    Ashlynn mitchell
    December 8, 2012 at 4:07 pm

    Can anyone ever go without some parenting advise … No!

  • Reply
    Julie
    December 9, 2012 at 11:39 am

    I’m thinking this book could help me and my husband out!

  • Reply
    Ana Barancek
    December 9, 2012 at 4:53 pm

    As a new mum to a now 1yr old who is emerging into a ‘spirited’ little toddler now I would love to read this book. I try so hard with my little girl to try and make her independant and explore the world but sometimes I think we can always benefit from someone elses knowledge, step back and give something else a try.
    p.s – I ADORE your blog and most nap times are devoted to me cataching up on tutorials 🙂

  • Reply
    Heather
    December 11, 2012 at 9:56 pm

    This sounds like something I would enjoy reading.

  • Reply
    Chelci
    December 11, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    I would love to read this book and learn more about parenting…. My 5 and 2 year olds are the love of my life, but parenting is hard and challenging at times….

  • Reply
    Kim
    December 11, 2012 at 10:36 pm

    Yes, I am in need of all the parenting advice I can get. I love a good parenting book! Thanks for sharing Cara 🙂

  • Reply
    Misty
    December 26, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    Cara! Love your website so much. Found you through Pinterest. This parenting book sounds fabulous and I’m going to download it momentarily, I have found parenting books to be my salvation. We have an 8 year old little boy and I can so relate to your fun times with Christian. Another set of books, and website, that seems to have a very similar philosophy is Love and Logic. These guys are the bomb and we have used Love and Logic since our little guy was about 2. Check out From Birth through Six. They have perfect specific phrases you can use that seem to work magic. Again, love your blog, keep the good stuff coming!

  • Reply
    Emily
    April 9, 2013 at 11:30 am

    I just found your blog website today and cant get away from it! Ive been on it for over an hour now. Someone commented on Emily Maynard’s blog(The Bachelorette) and suggested your blogs and I am so glad she did. You have inspired me in more ways than one in just the hour that Ive been reading. I am going through a really rough time in life with my marriage (he cheated on me) and also having a hard time with my 2 year old(I cant wait to read this book you suggested). After reading your love story, it brought me to tears and gave me hope that I too can someday find happiness, not to mention the huge list of beauty products and makeup tips im eager to try 🙂 I’m just glad I stumbled across your blog today. Thank you so much 🙂

  • Reply
    Linda
    March 28, 2014 at 10:42 am

    Vickie, I would like to invite you to be a guest on my cable TV show “Sound Off” in St. Albans.

  • Reply
    curtain cleaning st albans
    August 16, 2015 at 8:43 pm

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