Speaking of flawlessness…

I love flaws.

I have a big scar on my leg I got at summer camp one year.
The true story of how I got it is quite ordinary and boring but that’s not what I think of when I look at it.
I think of me and my best friend Shelly, at 16 deciding the story was rubbish and, since everyone within spitting distance asked about it, we needed a better one.
We concocted this big ol’ elaborate tale involving me and a jealous cowgirl …with spurs.
It became our best conversation starter, the funny go-to story when we needed an ice breaker with cute boys.
We never told any one the truth. Somehow it wasn’t really a lie if we were both in on it.
We told it so often that sometimes still, when people ask about my scar, I have to remind myself what really happened.

I have a mole on my chest, too.  This has always served as a very scientific measurement. If I can see the mole, my shirt is too low. Pretty great placement if you ask me.

I also have scars on my heart, that I cherish as much or more.

Anytime I pass a baseball field I think of my oldest brother, who passed away years ago.  At first it hurts a little, but then I think about how much I loved to watch him play, I think about his big hugs that felt like being covered in a homemade quilt and how his smile made me smile and just thinking about it now,
still does.

When I see someone who looks lonely and lost I remember the times when I felt that way. I remember walking home from work in scroungy clothes that didn’t fit my very uncomfortable pregnant body. I remember looking in neighbors warm windows and wishing I was living their life instead, wondering how I ended up in mine.  Because of my scars I remember exactly how that felt. If not for that I probably wouldn’t be so compelled to reach out and help like so many friends or nice strangers did for me.

Flaws are beautiful. I think they bring us much closer together than “perfection” ever could.

So have fun with makeup and hair and clothes, but never use them to cover up who you really are, because nothing can compare to that.



51 thoughts on “Speaking of flawlessness…

  1. I had to have a skin cancer cut out of my face a month ago. My best friend reminded me “we are beautiful in our imperfections” I’m now embracing my scar, big nose and many other imperfections I have. They make me, me.

  2. You always have the best things to say :) So true that flaws are beautiful! I try daily to love and use the scars on my heart and not to become resentful of them.(not always an easy task for me)This post made me think of this quote: “Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.” (I think by Kurt Vonnegut?) same with physical scars and flaws and trying to love them and let them remind me of where I’ve been and who I am. (by the way I got the cowgirl story when I asked about that scar and loved it)

  3. Loved this post the very most. I’m so impressed that you are able to have fun with makeup and beauty and still understand what is most important! God bless you Cara:) You made my day!!

  4. Thank you for sharing this story you have touched my heart! My grandfather just passed away and have been feeling like how you described see others happy and wondering when I will get there… We all have scars that we either hide show off and all for our reasons… I think it helps me reach out to others more to give more and stand strong in my faith… Stories like this help us become more enriched so I thank you for reminding me how wonderfully beautiful my scars are..

  5. Love. Not a post I would expect to see on a typical beauty blog. Your blog is far a beyond better than any other beauty blog I’ve seen! Your a real person with a real life and you are beautiful! Thankyou for sharing.

  6. Beautiful post. Thank you for the wonderful reminder that our flaws are part of who we are, part of what makes us unique and beautiful.

    <3

  7. This is so true and refreshing. I never thought about scars on my heart…but it’s full of them. And I wouldn’t change that ever, because it makes me the person I am today.

  8. Wow, this really touched my heart. Thanks for showing us that you’re beautiful on the inside AND on the outside. Your brother is your angel; he is always with you. Thanks for the beautiful post.

  9. Thank you for that Cara! This brought a tear to my eye. You are an amazing woman who has taught me so much, I owe a lot to you :)

  10. This has to be one of the most beautiful and inspiring things I have read in a long time. What a kind heart you have. Thank you for this, you have no idea who you may have really needed to hear that today :-)

  11. Thanks so much for all of your lovely comments! I really hope people take the time to read the thread because your words are far more beautiful than mine.
    Oceans of love,
    Cara

  12. You are such a beautiful person inside and out Cara! I LOVE your blog so much. From the videos I’ve watched that you made you have such a great personality! and you are so beautiful! This post made me tear up, i am going through a rough time lately and you have really shown me that things can get easier, and better. I like to feel like there can be a light at the end of the tunnel! you are a role model to me. :)
    P.S. your son is adorable. :)

  13. Well said! Sorry for your loss :( We all have tough things that have made us who we are and to hide those things only covers up how strong we really are and diminishes how much God loves us, to turn things around for us.

  14. You’re a beautiful soul Cara and so right, we ALL have scars. Some are visual and some are hidden. So sorry for your loss of you brother. I lost my older brother too in 2001. He was killed on his motorcycle. He was always smiling too and i miss him so much!

  15. You should write a book……I found your blog a couple of weeks ago and I’m in LOVE. I haven’t been wearing make up for a long time and you really help me!!

    I’ve never commented but this post is awesome. Please write a makeup/inspirational:)

  16. It’s crazy how you can perceive somebody’s life to be perfect but really nobody is perfect and we each have our flaws. I love this post so much. It got me all chocked up. Thanks for sharing your talents within your blog and letting me read them.

  17. This is why I love your blog so much, Cara. I hardly wear makeup, my hair’s usually a rat’s nest, but you not only make everyone feel like all that girly “stuff” is in reach, but you talk about true beauty… and that makes all the difference.

    You’re one of the prettiest girls I know. On the inside… so no wonder it shines forth outwardly.

  18. I loved this post so much! I’ve been following your blog for a long time now and you are the only reason I’m finally able to apply make-up. But beyond that, I agree with everyone else, you are so beautiful inside it shines out. Thank you for such a great blog and a beautiful post!

  19. i stumbled across your blog from a makeup pin on pinterest – you have FAB tutorials and reviews!! i just had to comment on this post though. i have literally hundreds of visible scars on nearly every part of my body from years of self-injury and anorexia, and many many scars on my heart from the mental battles and emotional abuse i suffered during those years. i used to be ashamed of these flaws. there were years where i went to great lengths to cover my arms and legs so they wouldn’t be visible. but in the healing process, i’ve come to a place where i accept them as a part of my past that’s shaped who i am today, and though i’m still self-conscious when asked about them, i don’t bother hiding them anymore. we should never be ashamed of our flaws. they are what make us individuals, unique in our experiences and our character. just my two cents! :-)

  20. New to your blog. Love it! Aaaannnd this is the best post ever. (PS. Thank you for the HAC post! I NEVER knew… I’m such a makeup illiterate.) So fun! Things to try… my kids are now wondering why mom is in the bathroom forever… haha

  21. Hi. I’m fairly new to your blog. Just had to say, that I absolutely loved this post. My favorite post yet. It made me smile, and love every flaw I have even more. :) Thanks.

  22. I too came here from Pinterest. I like your voice and way of expressing things. I loved this post. I like they way you describe make up and hair/fashion as fun, and caution against using it as a bandaid for insecurity. Just to love yourself. I liked what you said about scars, and about how it helps you help people. I haven’t met you but I like you.

  23. Very nice, thank you for sharing. As someone who has lived half of my life with scars on my face left from a car accident, makeup or having makeup done has always been a sore subject…until I came across your website. You’re the first person who has ever inspired me like you have. You can tell from the words that you share & your videos that you’re more than just a beautiful face (with lots of talent/experience)…You are truly one of a kind, helping women like me become empowered and feel beautiful no matter what package we come in. THANK YOU, I’m a fan and will continue to look forward to all that you share in the future :o)

  24. You are so gifted Cara and have such a light that shines from you – we can all see it in what you write and how your spirit shines through your work! Your friends and family are blessed to have you, and thanks for sharing this and all the other wonderful thoughts you have with the rest of us. Love your blog!

  25. I have just discovered your blog and Speaking of Flawlessness really touched me. My husband passed away on Nov 5, 2012, just 9 months ago. I miss him so much. He was my biggest supporter, on my worst days he would tell me how beautiful I was. I have to learn to tell myself that now, and your blog is a good reminder

    • My sincere condolences sheryl..your pain is palable. I lost my son in may 2011. I still think of him every few hours and its been more than 2yrs.

  26. Awww, cara, i too lost my son..its awful. I feel for you and your whole family. Your brother would be so proud of you. Youre really getting to be a big deal without losing your down to earth personality. I love reading all your blogs and ive learned so much as an older woman, better late than never, about looking, and feeling, my beautiful best. Ty ty ty!

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