My Favorites My Life

Speaking of flawlessness…

I love flaws.

I have a big scar on my leg I got at summer camp one year.
The true story of how I got it is quite ordinary and boring but that’s not what I think of when I look at it.
I think of me and my best friend Shelly, at 16 deciding the story was rubbish and, since everyone within spitting distance asked about it, we needed a better one.
We concocted this big ol’ elaborate tale involving me and a jealous cowgirl …with spurs.
It became our best conversation starter, the funny go-to story when we needed an ice breaker with cute boys.
We never told any one the truth. Somehow it wasn’t really a lie if we were both in on it.
We told it so often that sometimes still, when people ask about my scar, I have to remind myself what really happened.

I have a mole on my chest, too.  This has always served as a very scientific measurement. If I can see the mole, my shirt is too low. Pretty great placement if you ask me.

I also have scars on my heart, that I cherish as much or more.

Anytime I pass a baseball field I think of my oldest brother, who passed away years ago.  At first it hurts a little, but then I think about how much I loved to watch him play, I think about his big hugs that felt like being covered in a homemade quilt and how his smile made me smile and just thinking about it now,
still does.

When I see someone who looks lonely and lost I remember the times when I felt that way. I remember walking home from work in scroungy clothes that didn’t fit my very uncomfortable pregnant body. I remember looking in neighbors warm windows and wishing I was living their life instead, wondering how I ended up in mine.  Because of my scars I remember exactly how that felt. If not for that I probably wouldn’t be so compelled to reach out and help like so many friends or nice strangers did for me.

Flaws are beautiful. I think they bring us much closer together than “perfection” ever could.

So have fun with makeup and hair and clothes, but never use them to cover up who you really are, because nothing can compare to that.

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52 Comments

  • Reply
    Carissa
    November 13, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    #beautifullysaid

  • Reply
    SueEllen
    November 13, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    Love your blog so much! Your heartfelt words were just what I needed at this very moment. Thanks

  • Reply
    Ashleigh
    November 13, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    Beautiful, what loverly words x

  • Reply
    Robyn
    November 13, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    Thanks Cara, I loved this post. <3

  • Reply
    Jessica
    November 13, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    I had to have a skin cancer cut out of my face a month ago. My best friend reminded me “we are beautiful in our imperfections” I’m now embracing my scar, big nose and many other imperfections I have. They make me, me.

  • Reply
    randi
    November 13, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    You always have the best things to say 🙂 So true that flaws are beautiful! I try daily to love and use the scars on my heart and not to become resentful of them.(not always an easy task for me)This post made me think of this quote: “Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.” (I think by Kurt Vonnegut?) same with physical scars and flaws and trying to love them and let them remind me of where I’ve been and who I am. (by the way I got the cowgirl story when I asked about that scar and loved it)

  • Reply
    Samantha Murphey
    November 13, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    Brilliant. 🙂

  • Reply
    Harminee
    November 13, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    Stop making me cry on a Tuesday morning! – I love you sista! Xoxo

  • Reply
    Christiana
    November 13, 2012 at 2:28 pm

    Loved this post the very most. I’m so impressed that you are able to have fun with makeup and beauty and still understand what is most important! God bless you Cara:) You made my day!!

  • Reply
    Diane Delgadillo
    November 13, 2012 at 2:32 pm

    Thank you for sharing this story you have touched my heart! My grandfather just passed away and have been feeling like how you described see others happy and wondering when I will get there… We all have scars that we either hide show off and all for our reasons… I think it helps me reach out to others more to give more and stand strong in my faith… Stories like this help us become more enriched so I thank you for reminding me how wonderfully beautiful my scars are..

  • Reply
    Ariel
    November 13, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    Love. Not a post I would expect to see on a typical beauty blog. Your blog is far a beyond better than any other beauty blog I’ve seen! Your a real person with a real life and you are beautiful! Thankyou for sharing.

  • Reply
    Aly
    November 13, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    Beautiful post. Thank you for the wonderful reminder that our flaws are part of who we are, part of what makes us unique and beautiful.

    <3

  • Reply
    Cassie
    November 13, 2012 at 3:52 pm

    Perfectly said.

  • Reply
    Ashley Ruthford
    November 13, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    Girl you never cease to amaze me. Beauty , talent , and a big heart <3

  • Reply
    Lorna
    November 13, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    My favorite post thus far, and I’ve loved them all.

  • Reply
    kolleen
    November 13, 2012 at 5:00 pm

    i love your blog! you seem like a really great person. This is exactly what i needed to hear right now too. Thank you!

  • Reply
    Shelly
    November 13, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    Love this!

  • Reply
    Candie
    November 13, 2012 at 6:02 pm

    This is so true and refreshing. I never thought about scars on my heart…but it’s full of them. And I wouldn’t change that ever, because it makes me the person I am today.

  • Reply
    cw
    November 13, 2012 at 7:04 pm

    You are beautiful

  • Reply
    Scarlett
    November 13, 2012 at 8:25 pm

    Wow, this really touched my heart. Thanks for showing us that you’re beautiful on the inside AND on the outside. Your brother is your angel; he is always with you. Thanks for the beautiful post.

  • Reply
    Monika
    November 13, 2012 at 9:28 pm

    Thank you for that Cara! This brought a tear to my eye. You are an amazing woman who has taught me so much, I owe a lot to you 🙂

  • Reply
    tiffani
    November 13, 2012 at 9:54 pm

    you are such a lovely person. truly.

  • Reply
    Ada
    November 13, 2012 at 9:59 pm

    This has to be one of the most beautiful and inspiring things I have read in a long time. What a kind heart you have. Thank you for this, you have no idea who you may have really needed to hear that today 🙂

  • Reply
    Cara
    November 13, 2012 at 10:03 pm

    Thanks so much for all of your lovely comments! I really hope people take the time to read the thread because your words are far more beautiful than mine.
    Oceans of love,
    Cara

  • Reply
    Emily
    November 13, 2012 at 10:50 pm

    You are such a beautiful person inside and out Cara! I LOVE your blog so much. From the videos I’ve watched that you made you have such a great personality! and you are so beautiful! This post made me tear up, i am going through a rough time lately and you have really shown me that things can get easier, and better. I like to feel like there can be a light at the end of the tunnel! you are a role model to me. 🙂
    P.S. your son is adorable. 🙂

  • Reply
    Tish
    November 14, 2012 at 6:32 am

    Well said! Sorry for your loss 🙁 We all have tough things that have made us who we are and to hide those things only covers up how strong we really are and diminishes how much God loves us, to turn things around for us.

  • Reply
    Kayla
    November 14, 2012 at 7:03 am

    This post touched my heart. So well said.

  • Reply
    Brenda
    November 14, 2012 at 11:23 am

    You’re a beautiful soul Cara and so right, we ALL have scars. Some are visual and some are hidden. So sorry for your loss of you brother. I lost my older brother too in 2001. He was killed on his motorcycle. He was always smiling too and i miss him so much!

  • Reply
    Della
    November 14, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    Ahh, this was awesome. You wrote exactly what I’ve been thinking about lately- browsing Pinterest always leads to inadvertent deep thoughts.

  • Reply
    Angel Varney
    November 14, 2012 at 6:40 pm

    You should write a book……I found your blog a couple of weeks ago and I’m in LOVE. I haven’t been wearing make up for a long time and you really help me!!

    I’ve never commented but this post is awesome. Please write a makeup/inspirational:)

  • Reply
    Melinda Lyon
    November 14, 2012 at 10:55 pm

    It’s crazy how you can perceive somebody’s life to be perfect but really nobody is perfect and we each have our flaws. I love this post so much. It got me all chocked up. Thanks for sharing your talents within your blog and letting me read them.

  • Reply
    Jessie
    November 15, 2012 at 10:47 am

    This is why I love your blog so much, Cara. I hardly wear makeup, my hair’s usually a rat’s nest, but you not only make everyone feel like all that girly “stuff” is in reach, but you talk about true beauty… and that makes all the difference.

    You’re one of the prettiest girls I know. On the inside… so no wonder it shines forth outwardly.

  • Reply
    Natalie
    November 15, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    I loved this post so much! I’ve been following your blog for a long time now and you are the only reason I’m finally able to apply make-up. But beyond that, I agree with everyone else, you are so beautiful inside it shines out. Thank you for such a great blog and a beautiful post!

  • Reply
    Celeste
    November 16, 2012 at 9:48 am

    Tear. Tear. Smile

  • Reply
    Jamee
    November 16, 2012 at 10:52 pm

    I love love love this, Cara!
    xoxo

  • Reply
    anonymous
    November 17, 2012 at 7:47 am

    i stumbled across your blog from a makeup pin on pinterest – you have FAB tutorials and reviews!! i just had to comment on this post though. i have literally hundreds of visible scars on nearly every part of my body from years of self-injury and anorexia, and many many scars on my heart from the mental battles and emotional abuse i suffered during those years. i used to be ashamed of these flaws. there were years where i went to great lengths to cover my arms and legs so they wouldn’t be visible. but in the healing process, i’ve come to a place where i accept them as a part of my past that’s shaped who i am today, and though i’m still self-conscious when asked about them, i don’t bother hiding them anymore. we should never be ashamed of our flaws. they are what make us individuals, unique in our experiences and our character. just my two cents! 🙂

  • Reply
    Tiffany
    November 17, 2012 at 9:59 pm

    Words from my own heart. I am slowly accepting imperfection more and more. I hope I find total peace one day.

  • Reply
    Kristen
    November 19, 2012 at 8:26 pm

    New to your blog. Love it! Aaaannnd this is the best post ever. (PS. Thank you for the HAC post! I NEVER knew… I’m such a makeup illiterate.) So fun! Things to try… my kids are now wondering why mom is in the bathroom forever… haha

  • Reply
    Raquel
    November 20, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    Hi. I’m fairly new to your blog. Just had to say, that I absolutely loved this post. My favorite post yet. It made me smile, and love every flaw I have even more. 🙂 Thanks.

  • Reply
    Ali
    December 22, 2012 at 9:35 pm

    I too came here from Pinterest. I like your voice and way of expressing things. I loved this post. I like they way you describe make up and hair/fashion as fun, and caution against using it as a bandaid for insecurity. Just to love yourself. I liked what you said about scars, and about how it helps you help people. I haven’t met you but I like you.

  • Reply
    Thea
    December 29, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    I am new to your blog, and I love it! You are so real and inspiring! Thank you 🙂

  • Reply
    Christina
    January 4, 2013 at 2:35 am

    Very nice, thank you for sharing. As someone who has lived half of my life with scars on my face left from a car accident, makeup or having makeup done has always been a sore subject…until I came across your website. You’re the first person who has ever inspired me like you have. You can tell from the words that you share & your videos that you’re more than just a beautiful face (with lots of talent/experience)…You are truly one of a kind, helping women like me become empowered and feel beautiful no matter what package we come in. THANK YOU, I’m a fan and will continue to look forward to all that you share in the future :o)

  • Reply
    Porselen diş
    June 6, 2013 at 12:56 pm

    Perfectly said.

  • Reply
    Melissa (@DIYMelissa)
    June 22, 2013 at 7:35 pm

    Beautiful post!

  • Reply
    Mercedes
    July 7, 2013 at 3:27 pm

    You are so gifted Cara and have such a light that shines from you – we can all see it in what you write and how your spirit shines through your work! Your friends and family are blessed to have you, and thanks for sharing this and all the other wonderful thoughts you have with the rest of us. Love your blog!

  • Reply
    Lisa
    July 12, 2013 at 4:46 pm

    LOVE this. Thank you!

  • Reply
    Jada
    July 26, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    Great reminder- thank you for your honesty!

  • Reply
    Sheryl
    August 10, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    I have just discovered your blog and Speaking of Flawlessness really touched me. My husband passed away on Nov 5, 2012, just 9 months ago. I miss him so much. He was my biggest supporter, on my worst days he would tell me how beautiful I was. I have to learn to tell myself that now, and your blog is a good reminder

    • Reply
      nurseatplay
      August 31, 2013 at 2:49 pm

      My sincere condolences sheryl..your pain is palable. I lost my son in may 2011. I still think of him every few hours and its been more than 2yrs.

  • Reply
    nurseatplay
    August 30, 2013 at 9:22 pm

    Awww, cara, i too lost my son..its awful. I feel for you and your whole family. Your brother would be so proud of you. Youre really getting to be a big deal without losing your down to earth personality. I love reading all your blogs and ive learned so much as an older woman, better late than never, about looking, and feeling, my beautiful best. Ty ty ty!

  • Reply
    Silvia
    November 7, 2014 at 6:13 am

    Thank you…

  • Reply
    Shaleice
    March 10, 2016 at 5:45 pm

    Thanks for this! Needed this. When the wound is still fresh it’s hard to see the big picture, but it helps to remember past scars and how they healed and made you stronger. Thanks for sharing your conversion story to the gospel, as well as your personal story about overcoming addiction to an addict. So many similarities between your story and my story. God really does want us to come to Him, to rely on Him, and to trust that He knows how he’s molding us. Through my personal trials I’ve learned to treat others with kindness because, like the hymn says “In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can’t see.” (Lord I Would Follow Thee, Hymn 220) so I want to be that piece of kindness for someone who may be going through a hard time. Thanks for your perspectives and for being real. For all of us, this is real life, and it’s so nice to know someone’s been there, done that too. And thanks of course for your fun videos. I sat watching a few (more) of your videos with my toddler on my lap, haha, learning from you quick ways to get ready for the day (I have 2 kids as well and time is next to none some days, haha). But like you said, I feel SUCH a difference in my mood, kindness, and energy when I take those 10 minutes (that you showed me is how long it can take you) to get ready for the day. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your talent! Super appreciate the strength and talents you’re sharing 🙂 – Shaleice from Peoria, Arizona 🙂

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