Nick & Cara. A love story.

Today is our 2 year anniversary (yay!!) so I thought it would be fitting to reshare this post. I still can’t believe how lucky I am.

Nick and I met about 7 years ago.  Typical boy meets girl, they fall in love and then…he dumped me.

I guess I’m getting a little ahead of myself.
It all started with this photo:

me

I was living in San Francisco but visiting my hometown (St. George UT) for my little sister’s wedding when I went to lunch with a good friend. On our way out of her office we stopped to talk to her coworker, Bevan. He said he had a son named Nick, who was playing golf at BYU (about 3 hours away) and swore that if he sent a photo of me he’d be here in a hot minute to take me on a date. So I awkwardly posed for a photo and didn’t really think much of it afterward. Apparently, Nick didn’t either because he ever showed up.

Although, a few weeks later I received this email:

I know emails from complete strangers are a little creepy, but I wanted to make sure it was ok that I was given your email address.  Im sorry if my Dad weirded you out a little…. I can’t believe he made you pose for a pic….. gotta love parents.  So I have your email and now you have mine.  I just wanted send a quick message to say hello and…… to see if you really exist…  So email me back sometime, I think it would be cool to talk some, either internet or phone or whatever.  I look forward to hearing from you.
 
Nick Killpck

From then on were pretty much inseparable (by phone of course) if we weren’t talking we were texting. A million questions, conversations and stories.

us

{another photo by Nick’s dad, who joined us on our first date!}

I loved how easy he was to talk to. I loved that he seemed genuine. I loved his understated charm.

We met in person a few weeks later when he was on a Golf trip to San Fran and things only got better. I was planning to move to Salk Lake City when I was done with my nanny job, which was ending right about that time, it worked out perfect. We had so much in common and got along swimmingly. We became boyfriend & girlfriend officially and dated for a few months. Everything was going great…or so I thought. He pretty much blindsided me one day when he said, “I think we need to break up.”

I was devastated.

I went over every moment in our relationship 1000 times, where had it gone wrong? Why hadn’t I seen this coming? What could I do to change his mind!?

Generally I am pretty good at coping. If I don’t get something I want I can convince myself pretty easily that it really wasn’t so great in the first place.
Nick was a huge exception to this. He was such a great person. I just couldn’t figure out a way to believe that my life could be better without him in it.

I always tell people who are trying to get over a breakup to “fake it ’till you make it.” The only way I could get over him was to pretend I already was.  Eventually I lost hope that he would magically change his mind and was finally able to move on.

About a year later I started dating another guy and we ended up getting married. A couple of years after that Christian was born.  Sadly, it was an incredibly unhealthy relationship and I knew as soon as I had Christian I did not want him to live like that. As hard as it was I knew what I needed to do. When he was just a couple months old, I became a single mother.

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{photo by Blaire Florang}

For a long time I pretty much hid out at my parents house. They were wonderful and so helpful with Christian and for the first time in a long time, I felt happy and safe. I was pretty sure I’d never date again. I never wanted to be with someone who didn’t love that little boy like I did and I didn’t know if finding someone who did was even possible. On top of that it felt like dating was such a drastic conflict of interest with being the mother of a baby. I was breast feeding for heavens sake!

Thank goodness for my blog followers. I put all of my extra energy and thoughts into blogging and even though I never talked about what I was going through, every comment and every new friend made me feel like I had a purpose (outside of 24/7 colic patrol) and made me feel like a normal person. I really don’t know what Id have done without you guys.

Meanwhile guess who ran across my blog? Nick.
He was single, living in St. George and in addition to playing golf professionally, he was starting to get into a multilevel marketing healthy chocolate company. He thought I might be interested in the chocolate and maybe blog about it so he gave me a call and see if I was interested. I wasn’t and didn’t but we talked and caught up for a while. When he found out I was divorced he got so awkward. I assume he was thinking about all those years he regretted dumping me and knew I was the best girlfriend ever and he’d never find another girl quite like me. I’m sure that’s what it was:)

It took a few months but we started dating again. (I had to give him the cold shoulder for a while, ya know?:)

I found out he was still the same guy that I loved and looked up to. Only better. It didn’t take long for us to become best friends again.
I knew he loved Christian like I did one night when he put him to bed. He had been pretty fussy and Nick had been with us all day and yet within a few minutes of him being asleep he pulled out his phone to pour over photos of him. He was in deep:)

About a year later he took me back to San Francisco and asked me to marry him.

There were so many times along the way that I thought my life was damaged beyond repair. SO many days that I felt hopeless about my future.

I knew that my life was not a fairytale and I was not a princess…

but on a sunny day in September in a big white castle, Nick convinced me otherwise.

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My friend Cassy took these photos, she is incredibly talented. She also had the BEST blog. It’s definitely one of my favorites. She talks about motherhood, fashion, photography and just whatever. You’ll love her instantly. Enjoy! CLICK HERE to check her out
PS these photos make me miss my dark hair. Just a little.

Best kept secrets for looking good in photos!

photogenic

After being a portrait & family  photographer for a few years and then spending the next few posing for photos myself I feel like I have learned some really valuable info on working the camera!
I posted on this subject about a year ago, but after 12 more months of taking more photos I’ve stumbled on even more conclusions… and since I know many of you are gearing up for family photo season again, I thought I would share my findings.

Here we go…

prepare

prep

Exfoliate: Dead skin is going to KILL your IT factor by making you look drab and colorless. Get rid of it.
Get rest: Baggy under eyes are not your best look. We both know that.
Water: Cause I can’t make any kind of a beauty list without adding this stuff…

The other thing that is REALLY important is that you don’t procrastinate anything else you have to get done before the photo shoot. Picking out an outfit, your kids outfit…whatever it is make sure you can have as much as possible done before hand so that you’re not stressed to the point of murder by the time you get to the picture taking part. Stress photographs TERRIBLY.

 

wear

There are a million fashion blogs you can go to and get much more information than I can offer on this one but I am going to talk sheer logistics here-
as a photographer I can tell you the number one thing women didn’t like about their photos was when their body wasn’t flattered.

Sometimes the camera really does add ten pounds!

But there are ways to avoid this.

Proper undergarments are crucial.  (you know.. bras that fit, no panty lines…that sort of thing can be overlooked by the mirror but NEVER by the lens)
I like to pick flowy fabrics that don’t hug me too tight. I know if I feel like I need to suck in the whole time my photos are going to look…pained and if I have a muffin top I’m not going to be super stoked about it. (peplums are pure muffin camouflage!)
Oh, and heels, for obvious reasons.

(More on flattering posing)

outfit

shoes: steve madden (similar)  | pants: forever21 (similar) | top: forever21 (similar)

 

hair

My hair ALWAYS looks flatter in photos so I amp up to volume to compensate, I do that by starting my curls at the root instead or half way down the shaft and by adding clip-ins.
If I’m taking photos outdoors I like to pick a style that can move around and not get ruined. Highly hair sprayed or perfectly coiffed styles are bound to drive you crazy if the wind makes an appearance.
Don’t be afraid to get generous with shine serum! I mean, you don’t want to look like a grease ball or anything but I’ve noticed you can use more serum than you normally would and it just makes your hair look so luxurious!

>>>>Here<<< is my favorite hair tutorial for photos.

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makeup

I am always SHOCKED at how different makeup is in person vs. on camera. For me it can be so frustrating because I want to teach makeup looks that look gorgeous in person and then try to photograph it and it just doesn’t show up like it does in person. This makeup is the opposite, it looks good in person but it looks much better in photos.

I compiled all of my best makeup tricks in this video:
Beware when you watch it at certain points you are gonna be thinking: that is too much color or that doesn’t look right but the proof is in the pudding! These photos are unedited and were taken right after I filmed the video. (well I guess if you don’t like the makeup in the photos then…touche… :)

Product list:
Tomas Airbrush Tan
Loreal Perfecting Base
Make Up Forever HD Foundation
Maskcara Blush in Jem 
Loreal True Match Powder in Deep Warm
Anastasia Brow Genius in Brunette
Loreal Gel Liner in Blackest Black
NYX HD concealer wand in Glow & Yellow

Milani Color Satement lipstick- Best Red

Sephora Collection Fushcia Gloss
Ardell Lashes in Wispies on top & individuals in short for the bottom

photogenic

Being photogenic is ALL IN YOUR HEAD!
It’s a vicious cycle. You see a bad photo, decide you look bad in photos, the next time the camera is out you get all awkward trying not to look bad, you look worse….etc.
Photographing well is all about being comfortable and confident….or at least convincing yourself you are.

Here are some ways I use to shake out my nerves and fake supreme comfort and confidence:

Eat some  food. You don’t want to take hangry photos…ever.
Bring some fun music to lighten the mood.
Pull out one of your old elementary school tricks and “shake your wiggles out” – really a little wild shaky dance will help loosen you up

laugh

When I used to take photos I would always tell strained smiles to laugh out loud.
I’m not that funny so I’d make them actually fake laugh. With the laugh sound and everything or it doesn’t work.
For some reason this A. Makes you actually laugh or B. Brings out a totally genuine smile.
The above photo was taken after such a laugh.
Nick is so embarrassed for me when I do this…but he is admittedly not photogenic so…maybe he should try it sometime:)

Hope this ends in you having the sexiest photos of your life:)

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Beauty at any age

It’s not that she’s particularly concerned about it or mentions it much but if you asked my mom if she thinks she’s pretty she’d probably say something like “Oh, no. Not really, I’m just old.”
For her those two things are mutually exclusive.
Which is actually quite ridiculous and I’ll show you why.

Beautiful at any age.

I would argue that at 60 years old and having given birth to 9 children she is more beautiful today than she ever has been.
Look at her eyes. There are no short cuts to getting eyes like that. I imagine it took thousands of tears to polish them enough to sparkle so softly and sweetly.
You can’t see it in the photo but she has the most beautiful voice. That voice took millions of sweet words, hundreds of lullabies and …only one or two “CARALYN BROOK!!”s to become as smooth and warm as it is.
Her smile. How many happy moments and completely hilarious jokes did it take to leave those gorgeous smile impressions around her mouth? They linger after each smile as if her face remembers too many joyful moments for them to be fully erased.

I used to be so petrified of getting older. So afraid of wrinkles or pregnancy weight or for my hair to turn gray, but not any more. I know that if every year I give all I have to give, laugh as much as I can, treat every new experience as an adventure and every new person as a chance to love and care for someone than I will be more beautiful at 102 than I was at 22.
I can’t wait for the chance.

My mom is beautiful with or without makeup but we have found there are makeup tricks that make her feel her prettiest and it is only natural that as your skin and face change your makeup routine should evolve as well.
these are some awesome tips for ageless beauty
So here are some of my favorite findings:

No more big pores!
POREfessional

Honestly, I don’t know if I would believe this if I hadn’t taken the photo myself. The difference is pretty dang impressive. This silky stuff creates a smooth surface for applying makeup and that includes filling pores.

Instant Facelift!

Filled with Anastasia Brow Powder Duo Ebony

As we grow older often times those eyebrows start to migrate and they drag your eye and your expressions down with it!
My advice for this might seem a little radical but I think it’s by far the best option. ( I added the falling brows to this photo because we got rid of my mom’s a few years ago)

1. Locate your brow bone by feeling for it above your eye socket. Your brow bone is a rough guide to where your brows should be.

2. Wax or tweeze all the hair below your natural brow (brow bone) Even if that means you will only have half of your brow.

3. With an angled brush and some brown shadow fill in the arch by drawing in your brow above the ridge of your brow bone.

(Find a more thorough tutorial on filling in your brows here)

Amazing foundation!
NARS Sheer Glow Foundation in Stromboli

I always try to find the least expensive products I can but when it comes to foundation I get a little less stressed about price and more concerned with performance.
You wear it every day and only have to replace it 2 or 3 times a year! It is TOTALLY worth a splurge. I actually found this foundation on accident when I was testing swatches on my hand for color I grabbed this (cause it was the closest thing to me at Sephora) and rubbed it into my hand, I had to double take. Usually when I rub products on my hand the lines in my skin become exaggerated. When I rubbed this on it smoothed out my skin and made such a smooth creamy finish I was flabbergasted! I snagged a sample of it and have been in love ever since. Plus it has good yellow undertones which I prefer on most skin.

I am working on a post right now on how to get the sheerest most natural application, so check back this week for that as well.

blush & bronzer
Urban Decay Baked Bronzer or my *NEW* favorite Too Faced Milk Chocolate
Argan Infinity Lip & Cheek Tint in Boundless Berry
When I do my mom’s makeup I can’t tell you the difference it makes when I brush on the blush and bronzer.
It brings so much energy and warmth to her face. As scary as a highly saturated blush may seem they really look beautiful when mixed with the skin.

beauty at any age

I used Sephora Lip Gloss in Fuchsia Mania

I hope this helps!
Have a marvelous Monday you are dazzling,

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curly hair troubleshooting

Ever watch a youtube hair tutorial, imitate her procedure exactly, look in the mirror and think..
“Hey, that doesn’t look like hers at all!”?
I have.

I know that some girls have magical hair that will pretty much swirl to perfection with ease.
If you are one of those, congrats, you don’t know how lucky you are!
If you are not…read on!
The problem is when you see a girl sit down at her youtube vanity and curl away you are missing all kinds of information.
Information she (me included) may not even think applies to this hair styling session.

THE BEHIND THE SCENES 
Which is often the most important of all.
So I have decided to compile a list (I’m a compulsive list maker.) of the possible curl killers you may be encountering.
All of which have killed my own curls at one time or another and took me years of relentlessness to master.

Start here: (if the answer is yes skip to the next)

1. Do you have layers? 
Layers are a crucial part of curly hair. Without layers your hair is very heavy at the ends, which pulls on your girl and kills your volume.
Layers also help your curl fall pretty and keep you from getting a triangular effect (where all the curl is at the bottom)
If my curls start flopping my first thought is “when was my last haircut?”

2. Are you curling small enough pieces?
If your hair is more resistant you may need to take smaller pieces than you think. Experiment with the size of the lock to find your sweet spot!

3. Does your curling iron get hot enough?
I use and put it at the hottest setting or my hair won’t even consider curling.
I’m talking 425 degrees! (which is why I have to wear it for days to rationalize the damage!)

4. Are you using the right size iron?
What my sister can do with a 1 1/2″ curling iron, I need a 1″ for.
Her hair curls much easier than mine. So experiment with size, if the biggie ain’t cuttin’ it go smaller. Or vise versa.

5. Does your hair have build up on it?
I have talked about this before.  Here is my DIY recipe for cutting your own build up.

6. Are you using the right products?
Texture spray is a HUGE help for hair that won’t curl try THIS one or make THIS one.
Try a styling cream like this one if you can’t get your it to hold but don’t want that crunchy gel feel.
& Use a flexible hairspray on your whole head before you curl.

7. Have you tried different techniques?
Among my hair tutorials are pinned curls, twirl curls, wrap curls and more..
If one type won’t work for you, try another!

8. Are you bored of talking about curls yet?
Me too!

Hope this helps, Let me know if you have some success!